Salvage

darkly I feel your hell,

I am enigmatic.

 I heartlessly worship that enlightened mind

 wretchedly analyse someone'

one boundless soul would cry for a resting place.

 innocence could forget my mindset

 grasp an apparent emotion,

overcome that menacing jealousy that would crush the spirit.

I scream the sky,

slightly disillusioned,

as if I could imagine the truth.

Though I am wounded,

I must endure this eternity

and go in salvage of myself.

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a very interesting piece, with shades of jaded relationship(s?) At any rate, if I were to critique it at all, your English is impeccable and your word choice superb, but perhaps consider breaking up the larger lines and eliminating some of the superfluous punctuation. It does not flow quite as well as the other pieces of yours I have thus far read - that being said, it is still a solid bit of verse.

[MichaelsLyric.com]

It sounds like you are talking about moving on, from a relationship with someone. I could be wrong, of course. The last line talks about a recovery. This piece does sound sincere. In anyone's writing, I appreciate that the most. Nice write, thank you for sharing.

[Raymond Federle]

Thanks for your review! Unlike a lot of others I tend to write about experiences that have already occurred rather than something that is or I just put things together that sound really cool. But I guess it all has to come from somewhere, emotions buried deep within or a memory. It's all good to me. :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Would I heartlessly worship that too enlightened mind and wretchedly analyse someone's shadow

Fantastic line. Lots of great lines. And yes, go in search of the salvage.

[R. L. Hill]

Shivers. Another one that I love.