A Letter to the Management

A Letter to the Management

Dear God,
     First off let me tell you that your customer service here on Earth sucks. They have been doing all sorts of crazy, sick and terrible things and I think your customers are starting to lose faith in your product. I know I sure am. Whomever you have in human resources needs a sound verbal thrashing and needs to be discharged immediately. I can say though, however, with all honesty, that your stores are very well built. They are awesome to look at. I always enjoy my visit and your marketing staff do an excellent job.
     Unfortunately, I am not very satisfied with the product I have received, although my parents ordered it for me and I was supposed to take care of it, I thought I would receive a little more help from you or the home office or your inept customer service but to no avail. The fact is your product has become defective and is breaking down faster than can be repaired and no one has any replacement parts. I was assured by one of your customer service people that my issues were going to be addressed but to date neither you nor any one from the home office has contacted me or offered a solution to my problem. While I appreciate the free bonuses I received with the order, i.e. Talent: 'The desire to create art, music, writing' and Emotion: 'The joy of wanting love and receiving love', you failed to send included, the necessary packaging and personality units to complete the set, as well as spare parts which I am in need of.
     I realize that all sales are final but I am asking as a faithful and loyal customer that you might be willing to make good on some of the promises you included with your guarantee...which by the way was a long and tedious read. Maybe you could jazz it up a little and be a little more insightful and clear in it's meaning in the next version of it?
     All in all Sir, I am extremely dissatisfied with the service and end product I have received. If you do not respond to my query I may be force to take these issues up with a lower, however more approachable authority.
    Your valued customer,
                                   Raymond

P.S. While I enjoy music of all types, I find the "In-store" music a little pretentious and overbearing at times. Please "lighten" it up a bit.

Reviews

[Nusquam Esse]

Haha, classic write here! If you manage to get in touch with a more approachable lower, let me know. I have also been trying to get some sort of response back for years. I don't even demand a refund, just someone to make good beyond the point of sale. They said they were "Omnipotent", but just like Walmart's "Everyday Low Prices"... I am starting to suspect that I have been conned.

[Raymond Federle]

you took the words right outta my mouth.. :)

[Darkgirl]

I love this, its to funny! Great sense of humor

[Trevor Barnett]

This is very funny, but so true! Excellent parody here my friend.

[Blue]

Highly creative write, Raymond. I'm sure God is amused. I love this a lot! :)

[Raymond Federle]

Well...he didn't give me a sense of humor to not use it! HA...even if it pokes fun at him!

[Blue]

Hahaha. Wish I had your kind of humor. Must be interesting.

[s y e]

Your sense of humor is great, honestly. I love everything you write. So clever and really well done. I loved the way you wrote this.

Kudos!

[MsJewel]

You have a stellar imagination and sense of humor Raymond. This is so entertaining! Love it!

:) Julie

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

This is absolutely hilarious! I If it were me writing that letter to the management I would add comments on feeling misled about the product with false information.

[Kenneth The Poet]

This sold me from the beginning.

[Brittany Zedalis]

This is so clever and so well done.

[Lyn Anderson]

This is so brilliant, Raymond. I just have no words for how I enjoyed this piece. WOW.

[Baby Ricochet]

LMAO! Funny stuff Ramond,.....................