"It."

"It."

A Poem by Raynie12

It reaches up 
from under your comfort.

It claws and clenches
at your soft spread.

It is aggressive
and nothing near merciful.

You do not see It.
You only feel It.

Hovering and watching
from under you.

Fake, but oh
so very real.

You are flinching away
from the absolute unseen.

It isn't so ridiculous
as you are pondering how near It is.

© 2018 Raynie12


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Featured Review

this is powerful! I'm going to start with that. It's profound and thought-provoking, and I'm getting a "mental illness" theme vibe from it - is that correct?

If you don't mind me suggesting tweaks, the periods shouldn't be periods, for the whole poem seems to flow as one continuous thought. Play with punctuation OR get rid of it altogether. Then, the last stanza seems anticlimactic. I like how it doesn't answer what "it" is (that's brilliant!), but it doesn't serve as a line that could end the poem.....it may just be me, but I'm feeling something missing to really drive the poem home. Play with it. See what happens. This def has potential. Well done!

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

The tension build beginning to end ...and without any visual reference to cue the mind. Well done.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is powerful! I'm going to start with that. It's profound and thought-provoking, and I'm getting a "mental illness" theme vibe from it - is that correct?

If you don't mind me suggesting tweaks, the periods shouldn't be periods, for the whole poem seems to flow as one continuous thought. Play with punctuation OR get rid of it altogether. Then, the last stanza seems anticlimactic. I like how it doesn't answer what "it" is (that's brilliant!), but it doesn't serve as a line that could end the poem.....it may just be me, but I'm feeling something missing to really drive the poem home. Play with it. See what happens. This def has potential. Well done!

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
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Added on December 9, 2018
Last Updated on December 9, 2018

Author

Raynie12
Raynie12

Cassville, MO



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