MomA Poem by Rayanna
Previous Version This is a previous version of Mom. She said it herself "n***a dont care about me!!!!" She didnt have to tell me that for me to know the truth I am through. So through with this life i was forced to live Is it my fault that he left?? Is it my fault that he never came back?? I never let go of him walking out of my house and leaving for good I know i should forgive him and spend some time with my grandparents that live in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina I talked to them for the first time on 15 Oct 2011 My grandmother seems nice and my grandfather is goofy Maybe thats where i get it from But i could never really go there when i have fears that i will run into my father The one that could have taken my whole life away instead of leaving me here to deal with this nonsense She told me she hates what i've become She told me i am too far gone to come back to reality The reality i want is really a dream where i am a happy child that has never been deprived But instead i live a life of a lie where my mom tells me she loves me Tells me she cares and that she doesnt know what she would do if she ever lost me But i know the real reason behind her lies I became a mother to my little sisters at the age of 12 She doesnt like children but she became a parental figure to four Tells me she loves them every night And i can tell she means it by the gleam of hope she gets in her eyes She hopes more for them while that hint of lust disappears when she looks at me All she sees is Stanley Sands within me Even though the words never cross her lips i know she always thinks 'you'll be nothingjust like your daddy was' when she looks at me She tells me she loves me but i know she says it because she feels like she has to Has to make me feel like she cares despite her lack of sympathy I am a doormat to her One she can control, one that she can easily lie to But i will no longer be her servant I will no longer be her disappointment I will make myself be better just so she cant control me anymore But for now i will continue to create this destiny and fate of a lie built on her lack of trust I will make better of myself jsut because i know she will never love me like she loves them She will never appreciate me for who i am because all she sees is me being impersonated by him © 2011 Rayanna |
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Added on October 17, 2011 Last Updated on November 1, 2011 AuthorRayannaNew Orleans, LAAboutI am a really cool person to be around if you just take the time to get to know me. You dont have anything nice to say then why dont you just keep your mouth shut. Adress me like a person and i will d.. more..Writing
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