I Find Myself Agreeing

The effects of manipulation on the speaker, watch his mind crumble and bend.

I see him everywhere. I swear he's following me, but then I look into his eyes and... It has to be more pure than that. The way he looks at me, it's just so...

We only met a few weeks ago, but I feel something pulling him towards me. I can't put my finger on it. My gut tells me to run, but the way he talks to me; the way he touches me. It's so soft. He is like an addiction; even if he hurts me, it might be worth it just to hear him call me 'darling' again.

Ten times in the past two weeks. But I can't get enough of him. His words are like magic, and I find myself entranced. I feel high when he looks at me. I've never felt like this before.

He showed up at my doorstep today with a coffee in his hand - exactly how I take it. I don't remember telling him my order, nor my address, but he reassures me I just forgot. I always was forgetful like that. His eyes pierce my very core, but his sweet words patch up the wound so tenderly. How could I ever say no? Why would I ever say no?

Twenty-six times in a month. He must really love me. I can't believe he isn't sick of me, I must be so annoying. I really am lucky he found me and took me in. He says he wants to make me perfect, and I would really like him to do that, too. He says my friends are holding me back, and I find myself agreeing. He says my family are overprotective, and I find myself agreeing. He tells me it is us against the world, and I find myself agreeing. 

No one understands me the way he does. He's so patient with me, the world has failed me, my parents and friends have been using me this entire time, and he opened my eyes. He makes my every meal and even chooses my outfits, I honestly don't know what I would do without him. I'm not sure if I could function without him; I'm not sure that I would want to. He is really my entire world. His words are so gentle, and his touch is rough. He does it because he loves me.

I quit my job today, and I'm finally moving in with him. I basically lived there anyway, he told me my roommates were plotting against me, and it opened my eyes. He told me he would look after my every need, and all I have to do is be his. He is truly kind. He truly loves me. He says he wants me to be his forever, and I find that I want that, too.  I want to be his. I need to be his. That what he tells me, and I find myself agreeing.  He would never lie to me, I would never doubt him. He is my entire world. When he is gone, I wait for him to come back. He says I can't go out by myself, it's a big scary world and people would try to take me away from him - he says no one would understand our love, and I find myself agreeing; he would never lie to me, he knows what is best for me.

Every time he looks at me, it is with a hunger in his eyes. He tells me that he loves me, and he touches me like he loves me, but he looks at me like prey. I know he would never hurt me unless he had to, unless I deserve it, but lately he seems to react to the smallest things - as if he is looking for a reason. It's all for my own good, I should be grateful to him that he is giving someone as pathetic as me a chance. My gut tells me to run, my heart tells me to stay, and my brain knows I don't have a choice. I shouldn't want a choice, he would punish me for this thinking, rightfully so. He loves me, who am I to question that? He is the sun, and I am an ember. I am the blades of grass crushed beneath his feet. He is everything and anything, and I am nothing. It hurts, but he tells me this is the way it should be, and I find myself agreeing. I fear what happens if I don't.

His gentle hands trace the chunks and holes missing from my body. He tells me he does this to make us closer, to prove he loves me. Maybe I don't want his love anymore. But, no one else loved me, and no one else ever has or will. He is my life. My world. My everything. Maybe I am destined for nothing. He wouldn't be happy with this thinking. He seems to always know what's on my mind, like it was programmed simply for him. He tells me my body was made especially for him. He tells me he owns my body, my mind, my soul, and I find myself agreeing. I have nothing but his love, and I must be grateful. I do not want anything but his love. But I wish it didn't hurt this much. He assures me it is normal, and he kisses it all better, so I find myself agreeing that this is what I want too. All of the suffering is worth it, just for his love. That is what he tells me, and I find myself agreeing.