Happiness

As children, we are raised to be independent, to be able to stand up for what we think is right, to think for ourselves, and to grow a framework of values based on what we feel is important. These values that we develop as a child, in theory, adapt and conform to who we become as adults, it is safe to say that new values arise, while other values crumble; but is it crazy to venture as far as to say, that some values will stay with us for as long as we shall live? No, of course not, we will always have some value for out parents, grandparents, maybe even great-grandparents. We may value them if they were good to us, but even if they were cruel or senile, we can value them for showing us traits we may not want to develop within ourselves.
As children we also have common dependencies, for instance we are dependent upon our parents to care for and nurture us until we are adults, and then we can create and care for families of our own. Some of us fall dependent on others to help us in times of need, many of which may or may not be directly introduced to us through blood-line. Some may say that being dependent upon someone is foolish or far fetched, or even say that it is impossible for one to be fully dependent on someone even in the worst of mind-sets. Myself, I find that a dependency for someone may develop when affection or love is brought into the mix; even the happiness of an individual I feel could be a dependency that one has the capability of enveloping themselves in. 
I believe that this can be somewhat foolish, to say “One person is the source of all of my happiness”, but it is also relevant. As a child, I had most of my dreams, wishes, and material happiness crushed into nothing but a dust comparable to a handful of sand in the wind. I went more than 4 years with one person being the source of my happiness and hope, I saw no point in much anything, but my Nana seemed to be the only person my adolescent mind could adhere to on a logical basis. She used to tell me that “Everything will be alright, you need to be strong and envelope yourself with self-discovered happiness” to “Find a way to be motivated into creating something for the future”.
I was closer to my Nana more than anyone else at the time, if I was ever in a bad state of mind I would go to her for guidance and support, she always found a way to cheer me up and make me happy. On April 17th, 2012 my Nana passed away, I hit the all time lowest point in my life; I was silent to others, yet loud to myself. I locked my doors and swallowed the keys so that no one would ever know of my true pain, to this day, no one knows the fullest of extent of what I have gone through, and most of the people that have a clue, do not see it as anything notable. My happiness resided with my Nana, and for a long while, I was without a true sense of happiness, I did my best to cater to an inner sense of it, but it always ended with a silent cry of my soul who resided in a world of pain.
For me, I found one other person as a dependency for my happiness, I say only one source of happiness in my life, and when it faded, I lost sight of why I am here. I am not an ideal character, I had no where near a normal situation while I grew up, I have felt and been through things that I would not wish upon my worst enemies. An ideal character might see it foolish to do what I did, to put all of their happiness into a single person, yet from the point of view that I was in; it was the most rational thing to do, one of the very few things that kept me going.
Is it truly such a naive thing to say “One person is the sprout of all of my happiness”, it is no where near the most ideal train of thoughts. But is it of the worst of thoughts to believe such a thing, to at least let one thing sprout and flourish into many? Must we have need to make the act seem so irrational, that only a lunatic would venture to call it sane? It is not ideal, but it may be necessary for some.