Tick Tock

I'm being dumb for the last tyme

I'm letting go for the last tyme

I'm being sad for the last tyme

I'm losing passion for the last rhyme

 

I'm saying goodbye for the last tyme

Maybe I should lie for the last tyme

I give up on the truth for the last tyme

I stop caring before the last rhyme

 

I try to love for the last tyme

I chase ur footsteps for the last tyme

I lose my mind for the last tyme

I kill my rhyme for the last tyme

Goodbye. . .

 

By: B. G. R.

Finished: 7/22/2008 5:24pm

Reviews

[LadyLove]

Truly giving up and saying so...well. To me it speaks of a woman who has had it up to here with trying to hold onto someone who doesn't value her as much for all that she gives of herself. It has an angry telling off tone by its words...the last time...being used over and over again. You put a lot of your true feelings into your pieces. That is what writing is all about! Good to be yourself there. Be well.

[Angel's Lady]

Tick tock, indeed.
Did you give up for real?
Something tells me...No, not for real.
Great write.

[☮]

I like this. We've all gone through this. I can relate to these words. Although, we tend to be hypocrites when we say "the last time."

Thanks for this one.

[The Dark Priest]

The continual use of 'tyme' in this piece is brilliant.
G.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

UNTIL THE NEXT TYME, RIGHT? NICE FLOW, THE VOICE I GIVING IN IS DEFINITLY THERE. EASIER SAID THEN DONE, BUT DETERMINATION MAYBE YOU WON'T FALL UNDER THE SAME TRAP. GOOD WRITE.

[The Mad Prophet]

Very neat, I like how you focused on tyme, when the poem was called tick tock. You created somewhat of a back in forth feeling without really trying, or did you? It was good, I liked it.

[universalove]

this poem is sad. but good. who shall be last shall be first. that`s what they say. but whom does the bell toll for. it tolls for you or thee , or the i or ego is the self. IT IS BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU CAN BRING DIFFERENT THOUGHTS TO ENLIGHTEN THE SPIRIT. THANK YOU

[Muddy B.]

TICK.........TOCK.............BOOM...........I LOVE IT B,KNDA SENDS ME INTO A STATE OF MIND THATS UNSURE OF WHAT TO DO BUT EVENTUALLY KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN....BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN MY LOVE,ITS AMAZING