Chapter 1

i'm a begginier , it's my first book!!!!!!

                   

 

 

 

 

 

 

                         Chapter 1

 

   "No! Nicole Valens you are going to Zishina Academy!” This is the way that it had been going for the past hour: my mother and me sitting across from each other on the couch, picking “together” which high school I would be going to, since the one near my house is meager in my mom’s eyes. All I was trying to do was pick a school that worked for me, but so far, everyone that I had picked, my mother had shot down. She claimed that I “deserved better”. Like that was what she was really thinking. She wants me to go to an elite, not because she thinks that I deserve better, but because she just didn’t want to have to tell her colleagues that her daughter was living and going to school with someone who didn’t own a 10-bedroom house or a 12-person staff back home. She was always so judgmental.
   “Mom really, I like this one. I don’t care if it’s not perfect. It just seems like the right school for—“

“Night Angel has way more to offer than any of the other schools out there. Every one who has been a part of it has said that it made high school the most memorable experience of their lives,” my mom repeated for about the 5th time that night.
   “I know that but I don’t care if—“
   “Seriously, Nicole, don’t you remember our visit? Everyone there was so friendly. How could you not want that?” she said, looking at me with a quizzical expression, one that questioned my sanity. Why did she always do this to me when I didn’t agree with her? Why couldn’t she accept the fact that, for once, I might actually know what is best for me?
Apparently she didn’t pick up everything that I did during our visit. They were all friendly. She was right about that. So friendly, in fact, that it was bordering creepy. The whole group of them had all had huge fake smiles plastered onto their faces. I didn’t see a single other expression the whole time I was there. It gave me the impression that none of them really wanted to be there, that all the happiness was, in truth, an act. But I brushed off this idea, like I had when it first came to me. There was no way that my suspicions could be true. It just didn’t make sense.
   “Mom, I just don’t want the same thing as—“
   “Nicole, you have not listened to a single word that I have said about Night Angel. Why are you not willing to give it a chance?” she inquired with an expertly offended look on her face. This put me over the edge.
   “I’m not listening to a word you say?” I asked incredulously, finally taking a stand… literally. I was on my feet without consciously thinking about it. “How dare you say that when you have been interrupting me for the past hour,” I could hear my voice getting higher and higher with rage. My mother was looking at me as if I was a two year old throwing a temper tantrum. Unbelievable! “Enough is enough, Mom. I am going to pick which school I will be going to because I will be the one living there! Got it?”
   “Calm down Nicole. This is nothing to get so upset about,” she answered in a patronizing tone.
   “I will not calm down! My whole life you have been making decisions for me. This time, I won’t let you!” I practically screamed in her face. She just stared at me, waiting for me to be finished. I stared back, breathing heavily.
   “That’s perfectly alright, Nicole.” I couldn’t believe my ears. This actually worked? I was elated. But then she continued. “If you don’t want to go to Zishina Academy, that’s fine, but don’t expect me to pay for your tuition, or books, or anything else. If you want to make your own decisions, then you are on your own, which means that I will also be cancelling you credit card” she finished, as calmly as if she were talking about the weather.
   This couldn’t be happening! She had long ago agreed on paying for everything, so I had never saved up money. Why worry about it when my mother had more than enough? But now I realized. It was a mistake. I should have seen this coming. I should have prepared for it. This was so like my mother: taking away my only chance of a life on my own, so that she could control me forever. I wasn’t being overly dramatic by saying forever. I meant it. I knew that this would never end. She would always find something, anything that she could use to keep me in her web. I tried to think of a way around it, any way that I could still go to high school without her help. Loans, I could do loans… no, I would end up paying off debt for the rest of my life. I wanted to go to school that suited me, but they all way expensive for me, and no way was I ever going to the public school here, its way to underprivileged and I don’t want to be snobby but that school was really crappy. I couldn’t do this alone. She had caught me, like a fly, in her carefully spun web.
   “Fine,” I finally answered, hating the victorious smirk that crept onto her face. “I’ll go to Zishina Academy,” stomping out of the room feeling defeat----like always!

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

how can i make better and what should i write next , could you just start it for like maybe the 1'st prgph or something. Thnxz!!!!!!!!!!!

Reviews

[Frog Girl]

I really can't wait to read the next chapter!!!!!!!! But it all happens so fast, try to slow it down a tad.

[NinjaPi]

I think it flows just a little off. The girl gets mad too early on. I think you should explain a bit of the control freckness of the mother before her huge blow up. You only mention twon schools, you should tell us about a few others. Maybe the mom does on of theose at lest you could have chosen somewhere like______. Other than that it is a nice start. I have a chapter very close to this in one of my books (if you are interested in reading it let me know). I look forward to the rest of the book. Let me know too when your next chapter is ready.

[SamBug]

Wow this was really interesting. It caught me immediately and I can't wait to read the next chapters. I'm not sure but I think you could make this better by having her consider jobs and ways to getting a scholarship to the school she wants to go to. Make her fight her mother for this, maybe even make it more emotional. But I really loved it! I don't care if you make any changes to this, just keep writing and let me know when you have the next chapter out! CAN'T WAIT TO READ!

[Wolfe Greytome]

Not bad so far. I would just suggest that you tighten it up a bit, to make it move a bit quicker. Other than that, I think it has a lot of potential depending on which direction you decide to take. I look forward to seeing where it ends up.