UGH!!!!

UGH!!!!

A Story by Richard Anthony Goulart

Love betrays the mind. It lies a false foundation, an in conceived notation of someone elses own needs. The very thought of falling in love makes a person go to extreme lengths. Taken away my mind was when a certain girl took the very heart that should never have left. I see her now as so distant as she is. A friend she wants to be a nullified lover she doesn't understand I cannot be. Taken away, loved conceived and tossed away to be made a fool of. Power taken away and thrown to the side. You played my mind, embarrassed me with public displays of my affection that were never shared. You told me it was love that you felt yet if that was the case where are you now???? Bedding another???? That was never love. My vows broken, yours never existing, where are you now. I hope you well with the man you think that you have because in two weeks there will be another. You will get what you want out of him and than drop him like a hot potato with the old excuse. I want to be friends!!!!! WELL HEAR ME NOW!!!!! As my heart screams at me that I shall not be your friend my mind tells me today that to be your friend will show you a horrific reality of a life that you lost. A life of love that you will never have, a true man that I am and a true woman that you are not. Take my word that you will never see me as a lover anymore because this day I decide. My fate is in my hands and my path is chosen. You have taken another and lost me FOREVER!!!!!!

© 2011 Richard Anthony Goulart


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Richard, it is obvious that this is a personal issue, very recently come to light. Fresh enough that there are several grammtical errors you didn't notice because of the emotion of the situation. It may not mean much coming from someone you don't know, but I am sorry for your pain.

Objectively, I would suggest restructuring this as free verse poetry, so it looks something like this:

Love betrays the mind.
It lies a fals foundation --
An inconceived notation of someone elses own needs.

and so on...

I think by doing that you would maximize impact, and perhaps looking at this in an analytical sort of way might be cathartic.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Richard, it is obvious that this is a personal issue, very recently come to light. Fresh enough that there are several grammtical errors you didn't notice because of the emotion of the situation. It may not mean much coming from someone you don't know, but I am sorry for your pain.

Objectively, I would suggest restructuring this as free verse poetry, so it looks something like this:

Love betrays the mind.
It lies a fals foundation --
An inconceived notation of someone elses own needs.

and so on...

I think by doing that you would maximize impact, and perhaps looking at this in an analytical sort of way might be cathartic.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on August 25, 2011
Last Updated on October 3, 2011

Author

Richard Anthony Goulart
Richard Anthony Goulart

Little Rock, AR



About
HEY!!!!! The name is Richard and I am a straight goof. I play and goof around at everything that I do and I wont stop it no matter what. Many, many times people have told me that I play too much an.. more..

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