Excuse Me, Professor

I overheard a uni student lamenting to a friend of how she had developed feelings for a professor of hers. It did not sound like a school girl crush, so I took the story and added made-up details.

How did it begin?

You amused me, then inspired me, then enflamed and enraged me

I couldn’t look at you anymore, not without my mind wandering to terrible things

Like reaching for your hand

Asking you how your day was

Taking off your glasses

Getting to hear your answer

Kissing your cheek

You letting me

But I couldn’t and I never will

Because I knew the day I first met you, from the very first handshake, from the first smile

Married with sons

God

Married with sons

Why

Married with sons

              No

Married with sons

              W***e

So I searched and searched

And I didn’t like what I found, but I needed to see it

To break me

To end me

To break me

I read all the nice things the nice people had to say about her, she seemed nice

I can see why you love her

Intelligent, they said

Compassionate, they said

Creative, they said

I can see why you love her

Her eyes, it was as if her picture could see me through the screen

              Throwing knives landing in my chest

              Her eyes could see my dreams, my guilt

Her eyes

              They said

                           W***e

I can see why you love her

And the boys, they’re so young, just ten and twelve

I couldn’t do that to them

              Not that I would even try

I couldn’t tear their family apart, not when they’re so young

              I wouldn’t even try

But God

              I want to try

HowDAREyouyouwhore,amuse,howcanyouTHINKthat,Icanseewhyyouloveher,whatisWRONGwithyou,w***e,w***e,inspire,w***e,he’smarriedwithsons,marriedwithsons,hehasaenflameWIFEandLIFEandyouwanttoTAKEitfromhim,w***e,EVIL,howdareyou,Icanseewhyyouloveher,whatcanyouOFFERhimthathedoesn’talreadyhave,goBREAKyourself,enrage,w***e,W***E

How did it begin?

And God

When does it end?

 

 

Author's Note

I am still unhappy with the title. It will come to me one day.