Loners Club

A free verse poem opening a door to my mind when my social anxiety starts to act up.

I scan my eyes across a room full of conversation.

Unfamiliar faces, each with a story that lingers behind them.

A story untold to the naked eye.

A story that can only be told through experience.

A story that no one will truly know but oneself.

And while everybody remains deep in conversation,

I, sit in my corner stuck in a car, drowning in the lake of my thoughts.

My anxiety tensing each of my muscles into shock.

It begins with my hands, with touch colder than snow.

A once gaping hole in my chest, is now filled with a pain so unpleasant, it attacks you psychologically.

As I starred deeper and deeper in to nothing, each person slowly started to disappear right before my own eyes until I was

 

Alone. 

Author's Note

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[Relic's Bare Trees]

I've been there. I once went into a supermarket and while standing in the checkout line, turned around as though I forgot something. I wound up leaving the carriage in one of the isles while I sneaked out the door. In my mind everyone was staring at me and I began to shake.

I just recently read that mindfulness meditation helps. I've just started again.

[Willys Watson]

I live this. The opening lines where you are describing the inner stories of everyone is wonderful. I hope you're still writing because as good a writer as you are at 18 you have a lifetime of literature to offer the world.