Racing toward Emotion

The chase was on, but it all was a blur

He leaped over another body, it didn't twitch nor stir

He grabbed the railing and swung up the stairs

His heart was racing his mind stripped of cares

Kicking open the door he continued to sprint

He just couldn't find them, where could they have went?

He came to a door that he couldn't seem to open

The voices on the other side, they haunted and coaxed him.

He panicked, looked around, trying to find a solution

He opened every cabinet and locker, until he found resolution

The lone key in the drawer, he grabbed it and went

Towards the door he ran, barreling forward in full sprint

As he burst through the door he could not believe

He began to fall fast, chalk full of speed.

Please god he thought, and he started to plead

I just want my family, spare me, they're all I'll ever need

He saw a light as he fell, he knew he was near

Then suddenly his eyes opened to a light like a deer

He saw a man in all white, and said how am I here?

Then he heard the message, he'd been in a coma for a year.

Reviews

[Ees]

I don't know how one races towards emotion. It seems to me emotion prob races towards people and them hits them hard.
But that is neither here nor there, I just decided I'd share my feeling with ya.

I really like the fast paced rhythm of your writing. I felt like I was running as I was reading.

This line is not as comfortable to read: "He just couldn't find them, where could they have went?"- you may want to look at it and think about how you want that to sound for sure. (Meaning that it may be just the way you want it, but you also might see a better way of saying what you want for this poem.)

It is a nice story telling inside it too.

I enjoyed the mystery of it.

Great job!

[OBWhiteHawk]

Awesome title, love the journey you took me on with this.

[Robert Michael Miller Jr.]

Thank you, it makes me happy when others enjoy my work. :)

[Terohime]

Oh wow, this poem caught me by a hook and reeled me in to the piece. The ending was incredible. Good job.

~Your friend Res