A Primal Need

Horror

The only reason I agreed to finally see you is because Father Henry convinced me to do so. He feels it will ease the burden of my conscience or some such.
I know you all believe I have some story to tell. Shall I make one up for you? A fanciful tale perhaps? You'd never be the wiser, really. But no, I will tell you my truth. It is a story of love. You seem shocked by that statement. You don't believe me? I assure you it is so.
Where would you like me to start? My beginnings? I was born, I sprouted teeth, I toddled around. Something more than that? Very well. I remember my parents frequently arguing and flinging the dishes at each other during dinner. There were many chips in the paint on the walls opposite each other in the dining room. Dysfunctional? That is a word from newer generations. We did not know it then. I had simply assumed that everyone's parents threw plates and glasses. I was an average child, average grades, average life.
I'd much rather begin this in the middle. Is this alright with you? Good, then the middle it is.

Devon and I had been married two blissful years. I can't remember, up to that point, ever being happier. He had a job managing the local bank branch and I was a work at home accountant for a small, sales company. We met in college. Did you know that? It was finances and romance for us both. Anyway, as I said, we were blissfully happy. We had even moved into our own home just a few months before.
I'm not sure what exactly happened. No. That is not true. I do know. Devon's sister got pregnant. She thought it would simply be wonderful if I did too. We could raise our babies together. It seems in that moment some great need inside me awoke. A baby. Oh yes, I would have a baby too.

When I suggested to Devon we should have a baby, he had no problem with it. We began trying right away. Which, of course, was fun in itself. Nothing was happening. Every month, like clockwork, the tell tale signs of our failure appeared.
When Devon's sister placed her baby in my arms for the first time, that need became almost primal. I redoubled my efforts and urged Devon to do the same. To no avail obviously. Our respective Doctors made it clear there was no medical reasons to prevent it. I admit, I became like a woman possessed. Devon made it clear he did not consider it fun anymore. I suppose when I painted the spare bedroom, filled it with furniture and bought tons of baby clothes and toys for both sexes, I may have went a little too far. Devon packed his bags and left. I received the divorce papers two weeks later.

Now I had no husband and no baby. I became very depressed. One morning I crept into what should have been my babies room, laid my head on the little pillow in the crib and slit both my wrists. My nosy mother stopped by and found me. After that, I decided to move to another city. I could do my job from anywhere. They would just mail me the paperwork somewhere else once a week and I would mail back the balanced budget and unsigned paychecks. This wasn't a problem. I set up new house immediately. Decorated the place as I saw fit. Even the baby room. I just couldn't bare to part with all those sweet things.
A few weeks later while I was out shopping, I saw him. My Samuel. David? I don't know who you are talking about. I am talking about Samuel. My son. I did not snatch anything! I simply picked my baby boy up and walked right on home with him. Perhaps I felt the house was too small after all. Or maybe I didn't think the city was the safest place for a single mother and an infant. For whatever reason, I felt the urge to live elsewhere. And so we did.

I was new at being a mother then. Samuel was only a few months old. That, I think, more than anything contributed to him being a little extra fussy. I didn't mind though. I loved to hold him in my arms and smell his baby smell. I enjoyed feeding him, dressing him, reading to him and playing with him. All the things that a parent does. I was devoted to him. I most certainly was! Why did you try to argue with most of what I say? I don't appreciate it at all. Shall I go on?
As I was saying, devoted. One night I woke to hear Samuel crying. This was not unusual. It is what babies do. I went to him. He had urinated so much his bed was soaked in it. Poor little one. I soothed him. When I lowered my head to his to kiss him, I noticed I could no longer smell his babiness. I went to the hall closet and got him fresh sheets. As I went back and stripped the soiled ones from the mattress, it finally sunk in. My Samuel was dead. I can't even begin to fully make you understand how badly I grieved for him. I was so overwrought that I couldn't even attend his funeral. My beautiful, baby boy was gone.
No, there was never a five year old boy in my home that I can recall. There had only been Samuel and myself then.
It was at least a month later when I had to go home for my brother's wedding. On the return trip back to my own home, with still a state to go, I stopped at one of those monster size truck stop/convenience store/cafe things. Is that the place you are wanting to know about? The place was very busy. That bothered me. I got the stuff I needed and got us out of there. With all those people, I feared Rebecca might catch some something. I was very diligent when it came to my babies health.
For some reason I had not changed Rebecca's room from a boy theme to girl. I should have done this before she was born. Grieving Samuel is surely the reason I hadn't. I went about fixing that.
The closet? How odd you should ask. I was just thinking about that myself. I had opened the hall closet door to put the extra sets of soft, pink flowered sheets away and got very upset. Some type of animal had found it's way in there and passed away. I don't know what it was. It definately took a lot of cleanup. Poor, poor thing.

Rebecca was a delightful baby. Lovely little blonde curls and the brightest smile you've ever seen. I adored her, just as I had my Samuel. Babies have the best smell to them. Have I mentioned that? Oh good.
Cage? That thing in the basement? That was one of those medium sized dog kennels. It was certainly not a cage. Why are you asking about that? I had bought it with the intention of getting Rebecca a puppy. I just hadn't made up my mind yet as to what type before she was gone. Yes, dead. Just like before it was completely unexpected. I now had another of my precious babies lost to me. I often wonder if there is anyone who had wanted babies as bad as I did. What a total twist of fate that they were taken away from me so tragically. I blamed God a lot then. It was cruel. Anyway, that was around the time I stored that kennel down in the basement. Is this important?

Oh, this interview is over now? You are through listening? It has been the truth! It is the truth in a way I think will be easier to process for you. So you'd rather I didn't, huh? Is that really what you want? You are sure? So be it.
Samuel was the first, as you well know. I was completely inexperienced. We were fine. Everything was fine. Then I began to find myself getting increasingly annoyed with him over time. Don't you see? I let him go on to long! He no longer fit really in the crib. He wouldn't let me pick him up and hold him anymore. He started wanting me to get him material things. He even talked back when he didn't want to do what I asked. My baby was gone and in his place was this grasping, greedy, nasty thing I could not tolerate! Yes! Alright, yes! I locked him in that closet in the hall! It was clumsy of me, I know. I heard the screaming, crying and finally whimpering and then at last, silence. I had completely forgotten about that thing even being in there until I opened it to store Rebecca's new sheets, like I told you. I gathered up what was left, put it in a garbage bag and buried it in the back yard. Then I scrubbed that closet good. When it was Rebecca's time, I did things a little differently.

I realized the time was coming and so I prepared. I really had bought the dog kennel with the intent of getting Rebecca a puppy. I just got to busy. My little sweetness, Mary had come along. I no longer had to take that other abominations crap.
Mary? At the state fair. Her little elfin face looked up at me from her stroller and I just pushed her right on out to my car.
As with Samuel, my baby Rebecca began to fade away. The dog kennel seemed a perfect solution. At first I let it live in the kitchen. Fed and watered it in these little pink dog bowls I had bought with the kennel. Little Mary would throw it scraps off her high chair tray and just giggle when it gobbled them up. Mary was crawling by then and I am not sure why I allowed her to play along side the kennel. But it was a lesson learned for both of us. Mary had poked her little hand through the metal fencing. Trying to pet it, I guess. It bit one of her tiny fingers completely off. Can you believe that? It actually had the nerve to chew it up and swallow it while I cleaned up and bandaged Mary. I marched kennel and all down to the basement. No more pets! I put it in the back corner, came back up, flipped off the light and closed the door. You know, I never gave that evil thing another thought until now. None of those things that eventually found their way down there actually.

I t looks like our time is up, I can hear Father Henry making his way through the security doors.
No. Not at all. I am not afraid to die. Quite happy and excited about it actually. You're surprised by this? Why? No. No. You are looking at it all the wrong way.
There's only an hour now. A mere hour and me and my babies will all be together once again in heaven. They are waiting to welcome me. My sweet smelling angels. My Samuel, Rebecca, Mary, Adam, Veronica, Joshua, Jacob, Lilith, Abraham...

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Title: A Primal Need

Reviews

[Caradoc]

This is...disturbing.

Hate to believe some people actually are this crazy. Just...yea. You write it well. You write it believably.

Still...I am very disturbed.

-Caradoc

[Rogue]

Now I am going to take "disturbing" as high praise from you. -grin-
Thank you for reading and your thoughts. :)

[Caradoc]

Don't get me wrong, haha. It was written really well. The subject matter...like reading a story about how torture is an art form, from the point of view of a crazy as he's working someone over.

[Cool Handless Luke]

you are a sick sick woman lucy! j/k. i admit i saw what was coming but then i am always looking for something the minute i wade into this genre. it's well written and you crafted a chilling character who seems half socio half psych! will have to dig around in your vault some more!

[Rogue]

Thank you. :) To me, she is one of my best short story monsters. Mainly because in 60's and 70's America, it would have been so easy for her to exist and operate. Scary easy.

[Cool Handless Luke]

Yeah, that's the reality of it all - it could easily have happened!

[Samuel Dickens]

Oh my goodness, what a demented woman. Scary thing is, this story could be true. It's not at all implausible. I got a bit confused when she snatched the first baby and had to back up several times before catching on. (I'm slow) Excellent writing.

[Rogue]

Thank you, Sam.
As short stories go, this is one of my favorites. She is just so cold and chilling. I too very easily pictured this happening easily in the 60's, 70's or 80's. she is one of my most realistic monsters, per se..

[Rogue]

I easily got carried away with easily. :)

[Summer'sBreeze]

Just as Saichiro said down there....

Oh my God.....
Wow, this story gave me the shudders.

I love your flow of writing.
A write well done. :D

[Rogue]

Thank you. I really appreciate that. :)

[Saichiro Wolftotem]

Oh...my god. This chilled me to the bone! Absolutely wonderful! I loved the count at the end and the atmosphere of interview is beautiful. Great job and grats on the first prize!

[Rogue]

Thank you for this. It makes me happy when the words I have written have an effect on the reader. I appreciate you taking the time to both read and comment. :)