Coconuts

A small strudy craft launched out to sea
Staccato of waves beating in harmony
What lies ahead is an unknown destiny
The future shrouded in complete mystery

Leaning to left and then the right
Billowing sails catch winded flight
Rigging once loose now bound up tight
Surrounded by water as dark as the night

In sheer vanity continually attempting to steer
The mighty currents strength is abundantly clear
Determined dry land must be quite near
Nightmares of nothingness the greatest fear

Eventually all our trips must come to an end
This tale is included in each message I've penned
Bottles in the sea, the only way for me to send
That one will finally reach you, I must truly depend

Find me

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

I was thinking of who i might like to be on a deserted island with

[Rogue]

-grin-
Careful now.. You never know who might fish that bottle out of the water and wash up on your beach.

[Tate Morgan]

lol i see that bottle in my mind and hope it is not a bottle of tears

[Frieda P]

Tom Hanks came to mind reading this...lost and alone. I need to get you GPS, so you can find your way. Love 'bottles in the sea' and all the secrets they possess. Steering through a storm is no easy feat, but your poetry made it seem lovely. Great one Rogue.

[Rogue]

Wilsooooooon!!!
Thank you, Frieda. :)

[Rob Santana]

Aaww, this is so cool! Creativity at its best. The last part got me. I was yelling "No Rogue I'm coming I'll find you, I'll use mapquest!!!!!! "

[Rogue]

Hahahahaha @ mapquest!!!
Thank you. ;)

[Relic]

I won't try to top the other great reviews. I'll just say I agree with their views and this is an excellent poem told with a nice flowing meter and enjoyable rhymes. You are a very talented writer. Nice job.

[Rogue]

That is very kind of you. Thank you for both reading and reviewing. :)

[Sami Khalil]

The metaphor for life where we all sail to find the other side or a better end but it is still shrouded in mystery of self and to unlock the hidden meanings of love and life .
You have outdone yourself in this great poem. Kudos...:)

[Rogue]

Thank you, Sami. I always enjoy your reviews. You have unique thoughts, insights and perceptions. Truly a pleasure. :)

[Sami Khalil]

You too. You are welcome...:)

[sithlordjp]

Holy smoke !!! Rogue, this is so beautiful... At first I was wondering what was the connection between the tile and the subject. It snuck up on me slowly, and now makes perfect sense! They say the journey is half the fun... But what happens when that journey gets interrupted, by sea, by winds or by fate only? Vanity punished, or maybe a quest for inner peace rewarded? The structure of the whole piece is so strong, strong as a mighty vessel braving the storm... This has a timeless quality... it will age gracefully, and would be just as touching and true if found inside a bottle three hundreds years from now... Well done my friend, and thank you for allowing me to take a trip in your wonderful world... My favorite line is: "Nightmares of nothingness the greatest fear" And of course, those last two words, isolated, just like your character...

[Rogue]

Thank you, JP. I am actually quite speechless at this wonderful review you have left me. Humbled to be honest. Your eyes that see so much deeper than the words.. The title? -smile- Oh you know, me and my love of metaphors. :)