I would rather Not

I swear to god so many have known this.

Today!

Today. 

Two days. 

Since the last time I said "today"
Convinced with successive passions. 

Fuuuck. I just  -
I cannot say it. 

I try not to think of it because it excites me. 
Honest. 
If I want to sleep, it's a vile idea. 
I have to watch sci-fi or adventure movies
so that I can marvel at technology 
and not colour of his goddam eyes. 
(like watered sapphires)
Sorry. 

There's always that f*****g IF. 
If if if if effffervescent - 
Thats another way I'd describe his ey -
Sorry. 
But if I spoke it, 
and my words tore through
our moments 
like a worthless marriage or business contract,
I would be the ash in my chimneyless fireplace. 
Incinerated by my 'fiery' courage. 
Choking up the room. 

At least You'll know! They say. 
A******s.
There is nothing certain about life except death. 

And so I think I'd rather live on the brink of
Love,
than concrete my fate by actually by 
saying:

Nah. I'm not even going to write it. 

Author's Note

Speak up if the same thing has crossed your mind; this kind of stubbornness!

Reviews

[rnuff]

what a wonderful deep write

[Con O'Clast]

Great poem, I really liked 'if if if effervescent/ that's another way I'd describe his ey -' and the contrast between conversational tone and poetic images. It's a really unique spin on that sort of 'can't stop thinking about him!' feeling, it manages to dodge the cliches in all the right places. Well done!

[Rosa Carlyle-Mitchell]

Yay! Thanks you :) x