Stuck

A short story I wrote :)

'No, Maisy, COME DOWN!' I watched in despair as my best friend started to scale the scaffolding at the side of the Fox Run pub. It was only supposed to be an innocent game of truth or dare but then Kiara Hayworth joined in....she's evil. Maisy ignored everyone's shouts and kept climbing up and up. An earsplitting scream nearly burst my ear drums, my friend Lola covered my eyes but I pulled her hands away. I ran to the crowd and pushed past everyone and stopped dead. There was Maisy, limp and lifeless, her arms and legs twisting in ways they shouldn't. I sank to the floor and wept into my palms. A hand rested on my shoulder and a comforting voice said 'It's ok Ruby. Everything is going to be ok.' It was mum. Coming to take me away. I didn't want to go, not yet. Only, I had no choice. All I remember from then is the ringing of sirens in my ears and the long car journey back home.
The funeral wasn't what Maisy would've wanted. It was dull and boring. She'd of wanted it in a circus tent or been taken there in an ice cream van. But it wasn't like that. It was dull and very black. It's 2 weeks since Maisy died now. Kiara is feeling very giulty and everyone hates her..
I'm in bed now. I can't sleep. My mum says think of happy thoughts but all of them are with Maisy. Every time I close my eyes her smiling face appers in my mind's eye. For the last two weeks I've been crying myself to sleep. It's the only way. My eyes started to water and tears trickled down my cheek. I closed my eyes and drifted of to sleep.....but not for long.
I woke up in a fright as my room turned deathly cold. My window burst open and the curtains started flapping. There she was. I pinched myself just incase I was in a dream. Owch... I wasn't. Her long curly black hair was unmistakble, the girl was wearing a blood stainded blue hoodie, white top and jeggins. She turned and started at me with cold eyes....it was Maisy.
"You have to help me" she whispered icily.
"How?" I asked shakily. Maisy pushed back her fringe to reveal a blood red cut in the shape of a skull on her cold dead forehead.
"This is the mark of the ghosts that are stuck. We have to complete a deed to enter the afterlife. I have 1 day. " Maisy explained. "If I don't then I have to relive my pain every day."
Those last words shocked me. "What do you have to do?" I asked.
"I have to get revenge on Kiara."
"Sounds easy enough."
"With a bannana."
"Oh."
"Meet me in the old science block tomorrow" said Maisy as the sun rose and the rays shone through my window and she disapeared.
I nearly fell asleep in my cornflakes. I hardly got any sleep last night, with Maisy and all that. I'm still in denial that it actually happened, but still, I had to ask one question. "Mum, can I have a bannana please?" She looked at me confused.
"Ermm, why?"
" I just want to eat it for break."
" Yeah, sure." Mum said. I grabbed the bannana from the fruit bowl and started off to school.
" Hi Ruby." Lola called from across the playground
"Hi, I've got stuff to do so I can't hang around" I said
" Oh ok." she mumbled. I smiled and walked off.
I opened the door to the science block and usual no one was hanging around there. A chill raced up my spine. Maisy must be here I thought. "BOO" shouted a voice from behind. I screamed and turned around to see Maisy in stiches of laughter. I rolled my eyes.
"I've got the bannana" I declared.
"Good, good" said Maisy once she'd calm down.
" So what exactly are we going to do with it?" I asked.
" Isn't it obvious?"
" No"
" You're going to place the skin on the floor and she's gonna slip on it and break her leg. Hopefully."
BRRRIIINNNGGG. "You'd better go now Ruby. Good luck."
"Thanks" I said and went to form.
Luckily Kiara was in my form so I could sort this out nice and early. Miss Gren finished reading out the register and let is chat until first lesson.
"Where did you have to go this morning?" Lola questioned.
"I had to give Mr Right my History homework."
"Oh ok." I really like Lola and everything but she is SO gullible. After that we just chatted about Lola's latest crush (George Finns from form 10JS) and new beauty secrets as you do. The bell rang for first lesson and I slowly produced the banana skin from my rucky. I waited until Kiara was at the end of the line of many people trying to get out of the dooor and pushed infront of her. As I finally got out of the door I innocently dropped the skin in Kiaras way.
"AAAAH!" It'd worked. I piverted around and saw Kiara lying on the floor with her leg bending too far. Miss Gren screamed and called for an ambulence. When the headmaster arrived he announced that the school would be closed until further notice as there has been to much fuss and confusion. I grabbed my bag and ran out of school and charged down the street....home, finally.
My mum had got a phonecall from school wich saved me explaining what had happened. I truged up the stairs to my room and flopped down on my bed. In the corner of my eye I saw a letter on the bedside table. I reached for it. It was adressed to me and it had one of those old fashioned wax stamps on it in the shape of a skull. I opened it carefully and started to read....
Hi Ruby!
It's Maisy here. Our plan worked. I'm down in the afterlife by the sea of souls enjoying some lemonade and playing with my old dog Muffin. Remember her? Thankyou for all the help and I love you so much. I might come up to visit some time.
Hope to see you again
Love you so much,
Maisy. xxxx
My eyes filled with tears of happiness. I clasped the letter to my chest and smiled

Author's Note

I wrote this for a Scholastic mini short story book. I hope you enjoy it :D

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I find the story interesting and somewhat playful. A very nice job in all. There are several mispelled words and improper punctuation, so you should give it a good going-over. Just a suggestion--I think you could back the story up slightly in order to better establish the close relationship of Maisy and your narrater. You could do it with just a couple of sentences and I think it would add to the drama when Maisy falls.

[suraj]

hey .. yes it was interesting :) though i would just want to add that the ending could have been a litlle more powerful, especially after the brilliant start .. i mean u got me all hooked into the story, my expectations were raised and i was hoping for a spetacular ending :) it wasn't bad, but u know what expectations can do .. ! anyway good job on this .. cheers :)