Perpetual Love

Perpetual Love

A Poem by R. W. Adams
"

Time will never fade when you're with me.

"
Perpetual our love will be
Just like the birds up in the trees
Who sing their happy joyous songs
And dance together all along

We smile and sit under the shade
The oaks old leaves shall start to fade
I'll hold onto our love so dear
As the winter is drawing near

The cabin doors are locked for good
The night is lit by fire wood
The furnace burns so warm and bright
I'll hold you close, I'll be your sight

The quilt covers our barren souls
The sweet, sweet dreams will soon unfold
Just close your eyes and you will see
As one, together we are free

The sun will rise and you will see
Our love it lasts perpetually

© 2013 R. W. Adams


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Wow, that was a really skillfully written poem, great job with the rhyming!
I especially enjoyed that last line, "The sun will rise and you will see/Our love it lasts perpetually".
One thing I'd like to mention though, I think it may make things a bit more accessible if you tried writing more like you talk. I don't know you personally, but I'm pretty sure you don't speak like you wrote this poem. While poetry, especially structured verse, cannot mimic speech exactly, I think using words we would normally use and phrasing things in a way that would normally come out of our mouth can help open the work up to the reader and make it seem more real. The reason most of us are taught by our English Lit. teachers to write poetry this way following the greats, i.e. Longfellow, Blake, etc... is because many of the greats actually did speak that way... Today, we don't and I think our poetry should reflect this.
Anyway... That's my idea.
You did a great job with this, though, very skilled use of structure and rhyming, keep up the good work!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

How great this was to read. Well done.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Wow, that was a really skillfully written poem, great job with the rhyming!
I especially enjoyed that last line, "The sun will rise and you will see/Our love it lasts perpetually".
One thing I'd like to mention though, I think it may make things a bit more accessible if you tried writing more like you talk. I don't know you personally, but I'm pretty sure you don't speak like you wrote this poem. While poetry, especially structured verse, cannot mimic speech exactly, I think using words we would normally use and phrasing things in a way that would normally come out of our mouth can help open the work up to the reader and make it seem more real. The reason most of us are taught by our English Lit. teachers to write poetry this way following the greats, i.e. Longfellow, Blake, etc... is because many of the greats actually did speak that way... Today, we don't and I think our poetry should reflect this.
Anyway... That's my idea.
You did a great job with this, though, very skilled use of structure and rhyming, keep up the good work!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I've never been good at writing poems, and I have such an admiration for people who are. That was great(: I love when poems can make me feel something. I loved that(:

Posted 11 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

193 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 18, 2013
Last Updated on January 18, 2013

Author

R. W. Adams
R. W. Adams

About
Taking the path less traveled by. 19 years young. more..

Writing
Seasons Seasons

A Poem by R. W. Adams