Trying to erase my memory

How can I do that?

I'm deleting all the blogs I wrote when I could have been thinking about the person I wanted to hold and trust, for better of for worse. I wanted to be married in imagination, and to understand it's boundaries. Instead, I had other people I don't need rubbing it in my face when they ask to please me. I don't mind that I would insistantly be squandered and left for dead, but the fact that I went for decisions in my head is what displaces my bed and all other surroundings. It leaves me blank, and I can't breathe with this regret. It didn't matter if I would have let go, and find some peace in being a sleaze. It would just be defined and reviewed as being single. It was not like this not too long ago, and it's fucked up as if the past is forgone. I want to reverse and change my path. It's mazy to think I was never a blast. Walking down this forbidden wall, I seem to realize how I started to crawl. I want erase every memory of him, along with every dream of him. I don't want to remember this. I want to forget. Oh, things that should be so easy.