The Man who Procrastinated

The Man who Procrastinated

A Poem by Sa5m

About a man who procrastinated.

There once was a man.
Who had a terribly short attention span,
Due to never wanting to work.

He would procrastinate
because he didn't like the stress,
of having to overcome the anxiety 
of all the work he had to address.

Yet everyday, the more he procrastinated,
The more he felt self-discriminated.
By his own laziness.
By his own guilt.

And so he wallowed in self pity,
Everyday feeling really s****y.
As he could never manage to stop the cycle
That was making his life so frightful.

The more he avoided his work, 
The more stressed he became.
And due to getting ever-increasingly stressed,
He would ever-increasingly avoid his work.

And then the man died, unfufilled and full of wasted potential.

The End

© 2013 Sa5m

Author's Note

Interested in any feedback

My Review

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It's a rather decent poem that wraps a tale into it very well. However, it seemed less like a poem and more like a one page story to me. Personally, I think if you focused more on something you could describe as an image for your poetry rather than a person your work would be better. Still, a good piece all the same.

Posted 6 Years Ago

Well that's uplifting. Jk it was good, my only complaint was you didn't keep a consistent rhyming pattern.

Posted 6 Years Ago

The structure is very broken and inconsistent, and if attempting free-verse you shouldnt have started with a limerick form and then gone into consistent quatrains. Although the poem reads poorly and does not flow very well I am extremely impressed by the language and the themes discussed. I think its effective in telling a powerful story but not effective as a poem, I suggest either editing this to make it either completely free verse or completely structured or just avoid poetry, it's clear your talent is in story telling, you shouldn't confine yourself to poetry :) I hope you dont take this the wrong way, it's all with the best intentions, personally I'd say Premise: very strong, narrative: excellent, but delivery: fairly average, you give the sense you have potential, keep trying to reach for better and just keep writing :)

Posted 6 Years Ago

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3 Reviews
Added on March 18, 2013
Last Updated on March 18, 2013
Tags: Poem, Poetry, Procrastinate, Procrastination, Procrastinated, The Man who Procrastinated



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