To Be Woman and Anxious

To be woman is to be pretty

To be anxious is that being my weakness

To be woman is people thinking me ditzy

To be anxious is letting them believe that

To be woman is to be waitress, fine china, and meal

To be anxious is to not want to spill the teacup

To be woman is to be the tea cup

To be anxious is to know this tea cup, this body will break

To be woman is to not be allowed to spill your own blood

To be anxious is to fear that is all I will ever be,

A smear of feminine across the floor

A pool of virginity lost seeping under the door

They will ask some other woman to clean up.

To be woman is the men on the street not knowing my name.

To be anxious is not wanting them to.

To be woman is the boy in your freshman Spanish class telling you

You love dick,

To be anxious is not telling him "f**k off" until this poem.

To be woman is saying that with a smile.

To be anxious is your eleventh grade language arts teacher telling you you have worth

To be woman is a man harassing you over the phone later that week, 

At the dry cleaners where you work,

With the phone that has no caller id pressed to your ear,

And listen in abject horror as he tells you,

About the cum stain on his pants.

To be anxious is to still be talking to your therapist 

About that incident to this very day.

To be woman is knowing it could have been worse.

To be anxious is praying the day never comes when it is

To be woman is to still be working at that dry cleaners

To still have men compliment you on your braces

And tell you you're cuter than your sister. 

To be anxious is unknowingly slipping 'not yets' into the therapy sessions

To be woman is to know this poem sounds bitchy

To be woman is to know I must be on my period while writing this

To be woman is to know there are people that find this overdramatic

And to know that they are wrong and when it comes to my own worth

There is no overdramatic

But to be anxious, is to care what they think

To be woman is never publishing this poem

To be anxious is never publishing this poem

To be woman and anxious is to always be proven right.

To be woman and anxious is one and the same.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

love this Brina ... men can be neandrethal to the max sometimes and this full on revelation of a woman's perspective on life events both big and small is stunning to me ... Anxiety crosses the lines of sex though honey ;) and it is a horrific adversary set against movement .. causing us to second guess any avenue of escape and/or solution/resolution ... best to not try says i ... best to acknowledge both the anxiety and the fear it comes form and let it go ... most times even the most difficult circumstances will settle within 3 days ... in three days many times we are amazed how we have forgotten all about it ... but i'm old ... and rambling ... the struggles you write about are an open book and i appreciate it .. thanks you!
E.
ps. i especially like these lines:
"To be anxious is to not want to spill the teacup
To be woman is to be the tea cup" ,,,

[Chris]

Hello Sabrina. I was here and listened. I am not PC, nor mean-spirited - nor a psych-kind-a-guy. I do understand we have to find ourselves and be the best I that we can be AND become (eventually) more than who and what we were as children (most times). Life is real and hard and happens to us all. Sometimes we survive, catch a breath, and move forward. Sometimes we lose our way. If we are lucky we find a hand to hold and walk a shared path ...at least for a time. You take care.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Male realities cannot describe female realities – it takes someone like you to emotional express these to the male gender stereotyped in a lateral thinking world. Men are like apples and women are like oranges which make it impossible for them to understand how women feel! Don’t feel anxious – feel empowered! Great share, interesting read and bravo for publishing ... :-)