Beautiful

Beautiful

 

She sat there, completely oblivious to my internal struggle. Do I tell her? Don't I? How will she react? Rejection? Contempt? Maybe even acceptance, or feelings in return? I thought she would like me back, but I'd been wrong about similar things before. Nothing really made sense, and my heart pounded just thinking about it.

 

Earlier I had told her there was something I needed to tell her. Something really important. Nothing that could be done over texting, or the phone. This had to be in person. I think she had an idea before, but you can never be sure. We sat across from each other on those uncomfortable benches, half listening to the teacher. My heart fluttered every time I talked to her or even looked at her, and she seemed completely at ease.

 

I could make her laugh, oh yes, but that really didn't tell me much. I could do that with anyone. Give me someone that met me ten seconds ago and I'll have them chuckling in three minutes, laughing in ten. Of course, I could make her laugh harder than almost anyone, but that might have just been her, and not anything we shared. She always blushed when she was around me, but that might have been her complexion, or the fact that the science room was pretty damn hot. Nothing made sense, nothing computed.

 

I had given up. It was time to leave, I was packing my things. She tried to talk to me, but it was in the middle of the crowded science room. I told her it wouldn't work here, and we should just try later. I wasn't unhappy, per se; hell, part of me was relieved. But she was persistent. She left, and then she came back a moment later. She motioned me over and said, "Just tell me real quick!" We walked quickly by everyone leaving, and her mom gave me a grin as I passed.

 

I took her behind the main wall. I was shaking so bad I could barely see. My breath was unsteady; hell, maybe I didn't even breathe at all. It came out in a rush, and it sounded like someone else was speaking the words.

 

"I really like you. I mean, a lot. And I just thought, you know, you're not allowed to date right now, so nothing could ever come of it. But I do like you."

 

To my great happiness, she nodded. Out came the words I most wanted to hear.

 

"I like you too. I'm not allowed to date for a while, but...when I am, I'd like to date you."

 

"Okay...okay, cool. Well, I'll see you later then."

 

And then, mustering all my courage, I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. She looked the most shocked I've ever seen, and then, to my relief, the craziest grin I've ever seen a girl turn on me split her face. She was beautiful. She walked away.

 

I floated.

Author's Note

A true story. Sigh...