Sapiosexual

Sapiosexual- A behavior of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use.

You don’t have to write me a sonnet-
Those have gone out of style;
Or a lulling love song-
They too lose their meaning until 
I can't seem to hum along;
Or an opera, outrageous, vapid, light-
Please spare me the melodrama,
so long.

Just tell me my atoms are
aligned in the perfect way,
That the stars that compose me
shone the brightest in those
galaxies light-years away,
That we evolve and learn and
love each other more each day,
That the probability of our meeting,
as small as it was, somehow matched
the compatibility we now share,
And brought us together more surely
than fate or gods would dare. 

Author's Note

A poem I wrote but honestly never finished. I feel like the ending could be better.

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

This poem was curiously coy and somewhat brusque in the beginning, emotionally speaking; but the second stanza won me over completely.

It voices a candid honesty that cuts to the chase; as in when there is a value placed upon time and upon knowing what's important to this particular type of relationship. The title really says it all doesn't it? The sonnets, love songs, and operas all have their day in the sun but if you wish to be both endearing and enduring then demonstrate an observant and discerning nature; an appreciation for both mind and body. In particular, understand that there is a premium placed upon sharing values that acknowledge a sense of the human place in the cosmos, an admiration and understanding for the nature of an existence that incorporates the essential elements of love and learning that, by nature, must evolve or perish. In all probability these things will occur for what were the chances that you would write and we should read?

Perhaps there is some truth to the thought that nothing is ever really "finished"... that it just seemed the best place to stop at the time.

A pleasing articulation, Amanda.

[Amanda Granger]

Wow, thank you so much for the in-depth feedback. I feel like the first stanza works even though it's quite a contrast to the second, but I have a question (since you obviously are a great critic): do you think the first stanza should go? Or that I should alter it in some way? I wrote this on a whim, not knowing where I would go with it (which is usually the cause for any poetic inconsistencies I have, just not thinking about the flow) but wanting to make a certain point, and I feel like this one could be better, and many have commented on the second stanza being superior to the first...so what do you think? I really appreciate your critiques. Thanks for reading my work!

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

Thanks for your replies, Amanda! Most thoughtful. As regards the first stanza, let's try the subtle knife first. Perhaps soften the tone just a bit. As a reader it might be useful to understand the voice's relationship to the object it addresses. E.g., is it amicable, neutral, somewhat distant, caring, affectionate, hopeful.. etc.. At first, I envisioned two people in a cafe and there is a feminine voice addressing a singular male audience that perhaps had been trying too hard to gain a sort of fond attention. But, that was just my first read. Perhaps that is both the delightful mystery as well as the frustration experienced here. But that's life, isn't it? ;-) Do as you will.. whatever pleases you. Only you know what you were trying to say, to do, and why. We, your readership, are here merely to observe your journey through this part of your existence.

[anartao]

I love this poem ! beautifully worded, and one of those rare poems for me that everything just comes together inside my head perfectly, the flow, imagery, words and meaning, to create something beyond special. Its made my day ! Cheers !!

[Amanda Granger]

Oh, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. It kind of just came together for me too. I love when poem's write themselves. Thank you so much! :)

[Annie29]

Maybe I'm just a nerd, but I want to open a Valentine's Day card with this written inside. Great job.

[Amanda Granger]

Haha that's extremely flattering. It would be appropriate as a nerdy valentine's day card, come to think of it. Maybe I'll make one of my own. xD Thank you! :D

[Jimi Brady]

I love the rhyme-scheme in the second verse, particularly. Very well-written.