Right Where I Started

I arose like the smoke

From the embers

Of a burning building

And snorted the ash

Like a fine drug.

I battered down my burden

With a shovel called hope

And buried your memory

Beneath a pile of desire.

Then I slit the wrists

Of a pen gone dry

And watched as it gushed

Upon the page.

With an oil tycoon's smile

I realized

That right where I started

Might not be so bad

After all.

Author's Note

I really liked this one, but have had it sent back 5 or six times, any thoughts would be appreciated

Reviews

oh how I would love, love, love to be right back at the start again.

a reason it might have been sent back that many times is because maybe they didn't get the metaphors.
I personally love metaphors and a sense of puzzlement in writing.

[Lovely Lady]

I love the analogy of slit wrists to the open pen.... however, maybe more effective if the pen is words to the page instead of left to the readers imagination...
I do love the line "buried your memory beneath a pile of desire"
only suggestion is to elaborate a little more... but what do i know i'm just struggling with my own stuff!
~♥~