Parting disclaimer

This is the opening piece to my newest book “S.A.M.”

I know goodbyes usually come at the end.
But I’d like to start this book with one.
I told myself this would by my last venture into poetry.

Now that this book is finished.
I can’t help but feel sad.
It’s a postpartum depression kind of thing.
All of the late night hours I poured into every word, every line, every drawing.
It’s over now.

I can always start another project,
but this one has impacted in a way that I don’t think anything else I can create ever will.
I don’t know where to spill my thoughts now.

I just don’t want this to end.
I want the people I’ve got proofreading it to tell me it’s dumb, that it won’t sell.
Just so I can keep this to myself.
Do I just cancel the release?
Keep this to myself and write a thousand page poetry book?

I guess this is more of a poetry journal in hindsight, but who cares?
What I care about,
Is how scared i am of how this will be perceived.
This is me giving my heart to you.
So give this pile of paper a hug,
then continue.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think, I know my writing still is a little different, a little more raw and straightforward

Reviews

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I respect your honesty because it's not always easy to reveal the anguish and anxiety one may feel under your circumstances. Writing should never come with that kind of pressure. Then again I myself am not a published writer and for good reason. If my main concern is wondering if the work is good enough to sell then I don't feel good enough in the actual work I did. Art should be a joy to do not a chore. If it's forced is it truly my best? Artists bleed for their work, not out of profit, but from the journey in the creative process. I don't want to add to your already burdened thoughts but perhaps more self reflection is needed as to why you actually choose to write. What I'm saying may sound cliche but it doesn't mean it's not true. Art is the selfless act of liberation. You create something and throw it out into the world hoping that the value of the words find a home in the readers heart, not their wallet. Very few writers are able to put out the best of themselves while also gaining an audience of fans who see value in the finished product. But there is a fine line between art and product which is quite easy to determine in value. Write for the love of writing because if you value money more it may end up reflecting on the work you put out into the world. And not all the money in the world is worth that kind of pressure in anxiety and depression. I wish you well in your endeavors.

[Samuel]

Thank you for the review and I appreciate the comments :) I’ve always written as a way to express myself clearly and to talk about things that I couldn’t talk about face to face with anyone. I don’t want a profit, I want to show the world the way I learned to cope and deal with my struggles and hopefully inspire someone else. I actually did a tv interview for my local news station and I go over this motivation! It took me forever to actually release my first book, and I’ve noticed as I see people reacting to my writing. I fear people will judge me for my honesty and the dark places I go with my writing, but at the end of the day I still keep going, because writing is my biggest passion

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Then you don't need our opinion my friend you have your answers already. All you need to do is let it go. Let the art speak for itself. Move on from whatever angst is casting doubt in your mind. Don't be consumed by it. You did the hardest thing already by releasing the work. Let it stand on its own. You have no control over what comes from it. That will be up to others to decide. Move on to the next story or poem. Dwelling on things you can't control will only complicate the matter. If you have more art in you concentrate on that instead of the past. And continue in the passion you have. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks, just write. Everyone has an opinion and what they say isn't going to make you better, that choice is solely yours to make. Write...

[Samuel]

Thank you for the kind words :) I really appreciate it