An Earthbound ditty

They will always learn later
In the dawn of those grey days.
Regret will sit with smiling eyes,
A companion of yours for its not mine

This look crawled across his face,
that knowledge of wronged folk skittering under his skin
Knawing and nagging its way
Up and out of his guts

The truth blooms.

Youth is no excuse sir
Nor is it a shield against anticipated attack.
You alone chose to insult,injure, damage and brag.
Rough heart on your sleeve raised high like a flag

You beat feeble men to stoke the crowds roar,
Believing it justice cause they were rich not poor.

But your friends don't come calling anymore,
Most are casualties in a war of their own making.

I do admit
It is a hard thing for a man to feel the ceiling of his station.

Author's Note

One of my first poems, any critique welcome.

Reviews

[WesleyAlexanderDavies]

ace. you should use concluding lines at the end of all your work. you weight them well

[Samuel Jack]

Arigoto gozaimas fellow Samurai!

It is nice to wrap it all up nicely, but it doesn't always happen for me.

[slayerjay]

Its amazing and true and very real. But i personally would like to have a more positive ending to this, a way out.

[Samuel Jack]

Sorry friend, I write em as I see's em :) this is just based on my experiences with humanity, I'm sure there are men out there who have not used being underprivileged as an excuse for all sorts of behaviour. I'm yet to meet them.

Thanks for the review.

[Harsh]

very beautiful poem.........
well done mate!!!!!!

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you dost.

[ANTO]

"Regret will sit with smiling eyes,
A companion of yours ..." - I thought this the most striking image Samuel, I'll bet everyone who reads this will have a different 'look' for the personification of this (regret), the saddest baggage that accompanies the 'human condition'.
Good one mate

[Samuel Jack]

Thanks dude, very kind of you. An old thug in the pub inspired this.

[ANTO]

Oh I have seen those guys. Belfast pubs are full of old beaten down boxers and the first thing you learn when you start drinking in pubs here is "The last thing a boxer loses is his punch".
Peace my good friend

[writer in trial]

Stop violence
Lennon definitely must have hugged you for writing such an inspiring poem. :)
Actually I should learn something from this poem. Though previously i used to be very angry and out of control kinda, but yeah there were reasons behind that made me like that. Though i have controlled them a lot. :). But if people fight for something good, then it isn't wrong. I have seen youth going wild by destroying things,attacking people, shoplifting and all. But sometimes many innocent people become victim of them. Or some people who get bullied, they simply change themselves and divert themselves towards the path of revenge. All these happen when ppl are young and slowly they calm down with passage of time and age. I will never go for violence that kill people and all. But i can go wild if i saw something wrong and absolutely cheap things. Getting wild for good reason isn't bad. Isn't it?? :D
Sometimes i think some cheap people should deserve a more bitter thing for what they have done with some calm and honest people. At least one single kickass line to shut their mouth forever. :D

If something would turn to war and attack for mean reason, just like in the movie "American History X", then definitely its pointless and need to be stopped because no one get benefited in the end.

Very inspiring poem Dear :)
Good job ;)

[Samuel Jack]

A very heartfelt and passionate review Dost. I agree with what everything you say, I saw three guys beating one guy in a club, so I swiftly got one guy in a headlock and shoved my thumb into his eyesocket. Was it too Wild? The guy getting beaten got away, but I'll never forget the sensation of squidgy eyeball on my thumb!

शुक्रीया बहुत धन्यवाद Kumaari

[writer in trial]

No dost it wasn't at all wild. But you did a great job. Some people really think that they can rule only by attacking or bullying some innocent guy. These guy really need some dose. Rather standing there and tolerating everything would be disgusting. But you did a great job dost. I am proud of you. ;)

[Katiya K]

Sam! Your poems are always so intriguing. I feel like within your poem you share not just a story but a lesson. I had to reread this a couple times to grasp its meaning but I sort of feel like your telling the tale of how one is in the process of growing up and they feel frustrated at how the world doesn't make sense and they make mistakes because of it...not really sure if this is your correct meaning but that was the sort of feel I felt. Haha, any ways I enjoyed reading it.

[Samuel Jack]

Wow thanks for the kind words. Your pretty spot on, it's based on old men I met in various pubs who have these regrets, and I watched younger guys getting fired up and pushed into violence.
A lot of this happens in working class areas, hence the last line.

[Katiya K]

Oh that was something that I was confused at...what do you mean by station? Like a job? But interesting...I liked how you turned that idea into a poem..its something not a lot of people would bother thinking about.

[Samuel Jack]

A mans station in life, that's right.

[Rita L. Sev]

Having a hard time wrapping my head around this one, Samuel. I get a sense of frustration, that we create our own demise by making poor choices in our youth.

Did you mean gnawing in the second stanza?

[Samuel Jack]

Yes, its a poem about many young men I see giving themselves cause to regret in the future. I meet old men in the pub and the ones that used to be thugs and hooligans always have this regret hanging over them.

Yes i meant gnawing :) cheers