Hourglass of Memories

Crackling lightning
Harmonizing with the rain
Walk I must
Ignoring the pain

A cold numbness
As images flash past
Each droplet a second
Of the hourglass

As time ticks by

Broken roads
Decaying vines
Memories sealed
In rivulets of time

A knife stained crimson
Clutched in a death grip
A silent scream
Cracked voice, dry lips

As time ticks by

A crescent moon
Reflecting the loss
The rain faster
As emotions frost

Till there's nothing left
Too frozen to melt
Thundering a storm
A dark place to dwell

Yet time ticks by

Unforgiving relentless
As each drop turns crimson
In memories endless

Author's Note

Thanks for reading

Reviews

[C. Rose]

Congratulations!
This piece made it to the top 9 out of 226 submissions.
As your reward, I am sending out RRs on your behalf.
I encourage you to submit this piece to the Promote Me! group's library where the winning pieces of previous contests reside. http://www.writerscafe.org/groups/Promote-Me%21/11216/

Below is the link to vote for Promote Me! III. Voting closes August 15th, 2014.
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Promote-Me%21-III-%28Poetry%29/50213/

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

WOW, this poem is very deep.

[Mauricio Montoya]

wow! this is deep, for time never stop but we do remember, great job bringing this together.

[Aditya kumar]

awesomely written :) ..... nice work

[Bluefire]

This was very dark, yet I love the imagery and how everything tied together into an hourglass.
The repeated lines were most eerie and enchanting.
Well played! ^^

[.Raymond]

Fascinating. I like it. Remarkable stuff.

[Ashira Macy]

Awesome description in this. You not only picture the scene, but you can feel the emotions and atmosphere throughout the piece. The flow and rhyme was also very well thought out. This was a great read, thank you for sharing it.

[MysteriesUnsolved]

It was a pleasure to do so. Thanks for your kind words, they are greatly appreciated.

[Delmar Cooper]

This poem has a focus on one individual in distress. Rain, cold, rough roads and dangerous lightining are presented as representative stressors. As reader I assume these are only representative and not the real problem. At this point the focus gets blurry. Is the subject of the poem a murderer, or is the subject a victim? Is the source , the real source of the distress, physical pain or guilt? It is not clear to me how to read that context and perhaps it does not matter.

I thought several of the rhymes were contrived, and could benefit from further thought.

[MysteriesUnsolved]

Poems are said to be obscure, which is what makes them open to interpretation. Whether the protagonist is a murderer or a victim is for the reader to guess, much like open ended questions in a story. There isn't one answer, one explanation that can define the entirety of what it is written in rhyme.

Even if you look at famous works like say, Emily Dickinson's "Because I could not stop for Death", there are millions of interpretations on what the poetess might have wanted to portray scattered all over the internet, even if the poem itself seems to talk about a journey to the grave, and what's funny is that most of these interpretations make sense.

Hence, whatever the cause of the pain, it's what strikes your mind and builds a picture that matters more than anything else.

As for the rhymes, they came naturally while writing this so I'm not bound to change them, but thanks for the suggestion nonetheless.

[Delmar Cooper]

Thanks for the education.