Chapter 2: Escape

Chapter 2

            Eva went with Ananda out of the cell and into the long corridor. It was dark, and no Greens were around. Her feet echoed down the stone hallway and then down the stairway. She followed Ananda down another corridor and came to a pair of heavy metal doors. Ananda revealed a ring of keys and unlocked them. The doors opened, revealing the world.

            Eva peeked out into the rainy night and saw a courtyard surrounded by gray buildings, bars on all the windows. To the left was a towering chimney. The ground was all paved. Behind the buildings she saw the barbwire. A siren moaned, and spotlights wandered in the distance.

            “Can you run?” Ananda asked.

            Eva’s legs were skeletal. She was dizzy just from walking. She shook her head.

            “I’ll have to carry you. We need to be quick when they’re not looking.”

            Ananda picked Eva off the ground and stepped forward to see out the door. For a moment, the lady’s eyes searched the buildings around them. She held her breath as if listening. All of a sudden, she squeezed Eva close and broke into a run across the courtyard.

            Rain hit Eva’s eyes so hard she had to close them, and soon she was lost. She listened for the Greens, but could only hear the sounds of their running and the wind.

            Ananda’s run slowed to a walk, then back to a run. Her path twisted and turned around buildings. She stopped and waited in silence for a heartbeat, then back to a run around another building. Eventually, she slowed for the last time.

            Eva opened her eyes and saw that they were slipping into a wooden shed. Ananda put Eva down, closed the door behind them and threw a huge wooden latch down.

Ananda grabbed Eva’s hand and pulled her to the back of the dark room. She began clawing at a brick on the floor. She got a finger around one huge cement block and wedged a pipe under it, then levered it up. There was a black hole big enough to crawl into underneath it.

Thunder and yells blasted the door; it was the Greens. They were breaking down the door, and only the latch held them back.

Eva shrieked her way into Ananda’s arms.

The lady kneeled and looked at her. “I’ll stay and put the brick back over you. They won’t know you’re there. Go down the tunnel; it will take you beyond the fence and searchlights. Run deep into the forest. There will be people there who will help you.”

Eva hesitated about abandoning Ananda, the one who had healed and freed her. She knew the Greens would get her. Leaving her behind felt like the worst kind of betrayal.

“I’m already free. Free yourself now.”

The Greens were splintering the door.

How would she find her soul without help?

“Don’t give up,” Ananda soothed. “You’ll find your soul, just keep looking. Don’t let anyone block you or weary you.”

Ananda guided Eva to the tunnel, hugged her, and lowered her into it. My sister looked up at her silhouette.

“There’s a tale about a child who loses her soul. It says that you must not die, or you may be lost forever. You must survive.” Ananda’s voice was distant. “And don’t be afraid of the truth.”

“Thank you.” Eva wept.    

“Hope will lead you to the truth. I’ll see you soon.” Ananda was joyful.

The block ground above my sister, closing the tunnel. It looked like an eclipse.

Eva was frozen there, listening. She heard the Greens yelling, and then guns.

            Tears warmed Eva’s cheeks. She couldn’t bear to stay; she had to escape, so she turned to go further into the tunnel. She stuck her hands out into the blackness, and her fingers found the dirt walls. They were slimy and cold; roots held the clay together. As she walked, she felt the height of the tunnel drop down, so she crouched and went on. It became smaller again, and she went on hands and knees. Soon the walls were pressing against her. Clay clumped in her hair and squeezed between her fingers.

The air was so cold. It made every breath chill her heart. She crawled faster to keep herself warm, but the walls sucked the fire out of her body. The rags she wore gave no protection, and she began to shiver. The seven knots were still there, but they didn’t protect against this type of cold.

Her arms and legs became numb. She curled up in a ball to warm them for a moment, and then went on again. She did this again and again; each time it became harder to move on. Sleepiness crept into her bones, and her eyes became tired from looking for light.

She found herself lying down in a heap. Her shivers were fading; her heart and breath were slowing.

Survive, Ananda had said, don’t give up. Eva was not giving up; she told her limbs to lift her off the ground, but they became far away.

All of a sudden earth rained down on Eva. The tunnel collapsed, blanketing her. Sand tickled her face and mud pressed close her eyelids. The soil became heavy, squeezing her ribs. It felt almost like a hug. This sensation of an embrace became stronger and felt so good. It became warm. It became everything to Eva, all she knew. She was floating falling and flying. She was bobbing in a horizonless ocean. She felt her body twirl within this embrace. It took her away.

           

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Poopewpachoo]

Very straight-forward chapter.
I like the way your descriptions are: simple and to the point. You don't use any flowery language going on and on about what she sees or feels. You don't do an "info dump," as many call it, so your chapters flow very nicely.

The only big problem I had with this chapter was the fact that it didn't feel like the story was being told by her sister. It just felt like third person omniscient. If you recall, the narration from your first chapter was one of the aspects I loved the most about it since it was so unique to me. This one felt a bit of a downer since it felt like any old story.
If only the first chapter was meant to be narrated that way, then I apologize and you should leave this one as is and ignore my pesky complaint.
If that's not the case, then I suggest you make it a bit more clear as to who's narrating this story. The only time I felt like it was actually her was when you wrote, "My sister looked up at her silhouette."

I'm not the biggest fan of 'escape' stories/chapters, so I won't say too much about the content, but I thought it flowed nicely, so good job!

Overall, it seems like the plot is progressing rather well and I'm looking forward to reading more.
Once again, keep up the good work, Sarah ^_^

[Sarah Morin]

Thanks again Poo! Very good advice. Unfortunatly I toned down the narrator voice when I was reviewing because I was worried it was distracting. But hopefully I can remember what bits I took out. I guess it makes sense to have more of her cuz she's in it more at the end of the story (don't want to spoil). And don't worry, it isn't really an escape story, just this chapter.

[Poopewpachoo]

Yeah, it can always be a bit tricky to find the perfect balance when you have a specific narrator for your story. I suppose that's why so many people prefer using third person omniscient, huh? But, hey! You're taking the challenge and I applaud you for that,