Ah! The Chaperon

A Poem by Shweta Singh

For the one who taught me "chaah na Chaah"

I wonder seeing my quivering heart...
it's naughty,
it's flippant,
but ain't it class apart?
I pamper thou with all my love...
as u giggle & chuckle
& coil deep in my bough
I'm your strong rib
& will contain you within,
caressing your leap delicately
as life blossoms therein....

© 2013 Shweta Singh

Author's Note

"chaah, na Chaah" means if you really desire for someone,you don't have any other desire (even from the one you love)...

My Review

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Reviews

ANTO

I love the line 'Im your strong rib and will contain you within' Satya. Did you mean to refer to the Christian teachings that woman was born of man when God took out his rib and made woman from it (the reason given why women have one more rib than men). If you did it was genius - if not then you may have been channeling inter-spirituality when you wrote this without knowing it !!
Brilliantly worded and cheekyily playful.

Posted 10 Years Ago

10 Years Ago

WoW!I'm so glad that you shared this interpretation....no,I was not aware of this Christian interpre.. read more

Sophia Margaret

Well, considering we've already chatted, I'm pleasantly relieved to find I really enjoy your work, lol.

OK, first, let me take a moment to say that I'm glad you choose titles with personalities. I scanned through some of your other titles before clicking on this one, and there's not a single one that's without some kind of charm to it. Considering the title is the very first thing a reader sees about your work, it's important to have a good one. So nice job there.

I'm not a huge fan of poetry in general - it's too easy to get wrong and often leaves me feeling nothing. When it's done right, though, it can be amazing. One of my favorite works by any writer ever happens to be a poem: "The Highwayman" by Alfred Noyes. It tells me a story and leaves me feeling emotional... devastated, but emotional, lol. A poem has to evoke something from me, for me to enjoy it. Which yours does.

I love the playfulness of your words here. It helps make your poem relatable. It also helps to pull your reader in quickly, which you absolutely need to do when you write a short piece like this. I think this is either a skill you have or you don't, and you seem to have it.

Now, as I've already admitted I don't normally read a ton of poetry, take everything I say here with a grain of salt, lol.

The first line, I feel like you either need a pause after "I wonder," or maybe to add "at" after it. "I wonder at seeing my quivering heart..."
"But ain't it class apart?" -- I LOVE this line, especially your use of "ain't" here. It just adds to the playfulness of the piece. My only recommendation would be to add "a" in there. "But ain't it a class apart?"
"I pamper thou with all my love..." I think this is honestly just a personal preference, but "thou" had me pausing. The rest of the poem has such a modern feel to it that "thou" felt out of place to me.
And "caressing your leap delicately," I wasn't sure what you were going for with "leap." This could be on me, though. I fully admit I might be missing something on this one.

But minus a (very) few little things here and there, I truly love this piece. I felt like it was a declaration... but what I loved most about it was that it feels like it's one both to the subject and about the writer. "I wonder seeing my quivering heart...
it's naughty,
it's flippant,
but ain't it class apart?"
It's like saying-- I love myself, and because of that I'm able to pamper you with all my heart.
The message of this piece is perfect, and I couldn't have loved it more.

Posted 10 Years Ago

Well, considering we've already chatted, I'm pleasantly relieved to find I really enjoy your work, lol.

OK, first, let me take a moment to say that I'm glad you choose titles with personalities. I scanned through some of your other titles before clicking on this one, and there's not a single one that's without some kind of charm to it. Considering the title is the very first thing a reader sees about your work, it's important to have a good one. So nice job there.

I'm not a huge fan of poetry in general - it's too easy to get wrong and often leaves me feeling nothing. When it's done right, though, it can be amazing. One of my favorite works by any writer ever happens to be a poem: "The Highwayman" by Alfred Noyes. It tells me a story and leaves me feeling emotional... devastated, but emotional, lol. A poem has to evoke something from me, for me to enjoy it. Which yours does.

I love the playfulness of your words here. It helps make your poem relatable. It also helps to pull your reader in quickly, which you absolutely need to do when you write a short piece like this. I think this is either a skill you have or you don't, and you seem to have it.

Now, as I've already admitted I don't normally read a ton of poetry, take everything I say here with a grain of salt, lol.

The first line, I feel like you either need a pause after "I wonder," or maybe to add "at" after it. "I wonder at seeing my quivering heart..." 
"But ain't it class apart?" -- I LOVE this line, especially your use of "ain't" here. It just adds to the playfulness of the piece. My only recommendation would be to add "a" in there. "But ain't it a class apart?" 
"I pamper thou with all my love..." I think this is honestly just a personal preference, but "thou" had me pausing. The rest of the poem has such a modern feel to it that "thou" felt out of place to me. 
 And "caressing your leap delicately," I wasn't sure what you were going for with "leap." This could be on me, though. I fully admit I might be missing something on this one.

But minus a (very) few little things here and there, I truly love this piece. I felt like it was a declaration... but what I loved most about it was that it feels like it's one both to the subject and about the writer. "I wonder seeing my quivering heart...
it's naughty,
it's flippant,
but ain't it class apart?"
It's like saying-- I love myself, and because of that I'm able to pamper you with all my heart. 
The message of this piece is perfect, and I couldn't have loved it more.

Rating /100

Clockwork

I think that phrase is really beautiful and explains a really deep sort of connection, more of a universal love. In other words, its not the kind of attraction one would have if they wanted a one night stand. It is the kind of love that makes a person write: "I pamper thou with all my love..." You're filling the space of the heart with a positive attitude, and light. This poem is the development of that affection in motion. I'm glad that I read it.

Posted 10 Years Ago

10 Years Ago

Christian, you can really take a dip into my poems...I love the way you express it & co-relate with .. read more

tuvi

Hi Shweta ,

I liked your poem , its simple sweet yet very refined ....you have playfully used words in a very nice manner ....the words "caressing" and "naughty" metaphors gives a savory flavor to the poem
Good one Keep it up !

Thanks for share

Love,
Tuvi

Posted 10 Years Ago

10 Years Ago

Thanks a lot Tuvi for this affectionate and comprehensive review !! It cheered me & encouraged me wr.. read more

Friday

Very expressive and mindful I think. I like the wording very much, combining things; very nice ending too. lovely! Thanks for the learning part.

Posted 10 Years Ago

10 Years Ago

Thanks for being so kind & writing such a wonderful review...it's very encouraging indeed!

Allen Smuckler

I loved this poem on so many different levels Shweta...
playful and erotic in a carefree, loving way...
the "caressing" innuendoes and "naughty" metaphors gives
this beautiful write new meaning to the adage, big things come in small packages.
Style and form allows it to flow and meander nicely around your point...love IS a many "splendid" thing.
keep up the good work...
allen
btw...loved the picture and the title...