Chainsmoker

I really did love you but you're a chainsmoker and I was just another cigarette.

Watching you go through packs of cigarettes reminds me so much of the problem.

Each one no more important than the last, you; always, feenin for the next.

Bad habit, you're aware, you just don't care.

The smoke dances around your lips, much like I did.

The bodies lie gently on your fingers, much like I did.

Keeping you happy only for the moment, much like I did.

Bad habits; die hard

Hot love; runs cold

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

This is very good poetry.
"Bad habits; die hard
Hot love; runs cold"
The above line could stand alone as a quote. I could write a complete poem or story from the words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[SavyNess]

Thank you so very much, I am beyond flattered. I look forward to becoming more familiar with your writing and reading more comments you may have for me.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[sinNsincerity]

This is my favorite from you Ness, I loved it!

[The Twin Arenas]

great little description up there.

you could break this up a bit. work on the flow of the thing.

it's all there, though. keep writing. you can write. may as well keep writing.

[coffeedigest]

I really enjoyed this, the title grabbed me immediately. The topic itself is heavy which always makes for a great poem. My only critique would be the line "Keeping you happy ONLY for the moment, much like I did" I love that line, yet I totally feel like your words spoke with enough volume to do without the "ONLY". Your words are strong enough standing alone, and the emphasis I found unnecessary. Other than that I absolutely loved it! Great job.

[SavyNess]

Thank you so very very much , I appreciate this comment more than you know! I will most definitely keep that in mind for future reference and I look forward to any other comments you are willing to make! :-)