Heaven is Where I Belong.

Suicide poem. *I am not going to commit suicide, I was just feeling creatively in that way*

I wait in the corner, 

for my fate to become apparent.

To prove I belong at the coroner, 

and to seal the destiny for which I knew I was meant.

 

Heaven is where I belong. 

My heart skips a sad beat,

and I take the razor in my hand. 

I cut vertically, 

for my maker I must meet. 

Heaven is where I belong. 

The blood pours out,

a crimson elixir.

My family comes in the room,

and asks what the blood on my clothing is about.

My mother turns me over, 

sensing trouble in the air. 

She cries for my life to come back, 

but I'm already in the place with clovers.

Heaven is where I belong. 

Author's Note

I'm aware that the rhyming structure is kind of shaky. But it was impromptu.

Reviews

[Miguel]

I don't think there's anything wrong at all with the rhyme scheme :) It flows very nicely in its simplicity, making it easy to read. I especially like the second stanza; it gives a sense of finality in the action of the poem. The only thing that struck me as odd was that you didn't include the recurring line "Heaven is where I belong" after the third stanza. Was that deliberate or was it a mistake? Regardless of whether or not that line is placed there though, I think it is a well-written poem. Well done!

And thank you for joining the group, Young Poets :)
I'm looking forward to seeing your work there!

~Miguel