Love is Not

Light hearted, sentimental mush.

Enter The Bride, dressed in her wedding gown, stunning and glowing with excitement. She stands alone for a few moments in the spotlight, and is then followed on stage by her mother, three bridesmaids and flower girl, who proceed to fuss around her in their own ways.

Mother: Darling you look stunning, I’ve never seen a more beautiful bride. Now sit down and let me look at you...

Bridesmaid 1: Just a touch more hairspray, we don’t want any flyaways as you’re walking up the aisle -

Bridesmaid 2: Exactly it’s your big day, everything has to be perfect!

Flower Girl: Nanny? (continues to repeat chanting this and generally making noise as the adults fuss, waving her teddy bear around importantly)

Bridesmaid 1: How are your nails holding up, do you need another coat?

Mother: Weddings always take me back...

Bridesmaid 3: The guys are on the way, I just got a text.

Bridesmaid 2: Oh don’t stress we’ve got plenty of time...

Mother: Love’s a funny thing isn’t it?

Bridesmaid 1: Which are we going for, peach blossom or ice sheen?

Mother: Did I ever tell you the story of �"

Bride and Bridesmaids: Probably.

Bridesmaid 2: We’ve heard them all a million times, Mam! Where are the curling tongs? I think this part needs a little pick me up �"

Mother: This one was different, he was �"

Bridesmaid 1: Second drawer on the left, behind the straighteners

Bridesmaid 3: For God’s sake, no signal...

Mother: He was �"

Bridesmaid 2: Are you sure you have everything? Something old, new, borrowed...

Mother, perturbed at the constant interruptions, snaps her fingers and the scene freezes.

Mother: My first love. I was fourteen �" a late bloomer. That is, by some standards anyway. Not mine... He was older: he wore leather jackets, played electric guitar and had this little scruff of a beard that would never fail to scratch against my chin every time we kissed. It took him three weeks to kiss me, three weeks. It was worth it of course, not every girl gets her first kiss on Valentine’s Day, under the stars... I thought the two of us would last forever. I was devastated when it ended. Two months of my life I had given to that boy, and when you’re a fourteen year old girl, well, two months is just a stone’s throw away from an engagement ring. The break up was swift and clean, like ripping off a plaster. Or a knife to the gut. I remember walking away from him as if I was doing it all over again, right now �" that feeling in the pit of my stomach. It felt like the end, like he had torn all the love out of me. I cried and cried, cried until I was practically dehydrated, and when the tears finally stopped I was so cold... I didn’t think I would ever feel anything again, anything. Dramatic I know, but what can I say? Love. When I got home that night, my mother bought me ice cream. Cookie dough. To this day, I can’t look at Cookie Dough ice cream without feeling something, a little jolt... Not sadness exactly, but not nostalgia either. Not remembrance. It’s that feeling, that dried up emptiness, when there are no more tears left to sob. It never lasts long. Just a second, but it’s there, it’s always there... Just one of those things I suppose. You never forget your first love.

Oh dear, what was my point?

Unfreeze

 Everything will be fine dear, just relax. I have your blue right here!

Mother pushes past Bridesmaid 1 to present a blue ring/bracelet/something to the bride. Bridesmaid 1 becomes separated from the group.

Bride: Oh mam you shouldn’t have �"

Mother: Of course I should have, it’s my job!

Bridesmaid 2: Oh it’s beautiful!

Bride: Mam do you really think I’m able for this? Married life? All that? What if he goes off me?

Mother: Oh don’t be ridiculous, you’re going to be blissfully happy, isn’t she Bethy?

Freeze

Bridesmaid 1:

I love him, you know. Why else do you think I would do it? I’m not just some w***e, I do have principles... Its unrequited love, I know that. Don’t think I’m one of those deluded mistresses that spends her young life waiting for her man to abandon everything and gallop away with her into the sunset... He’ll never leave her, never. And I know, I know that everything we’re doing is wrong but I just want to make him happy. He works so hard and she’s never there and even when she is �" but all the rationalising in the world still doesn’t help. Convincing yourself over and over that you’re doing the wrong thing for the right reasons, that it’s better this way, for both of us, it doesn’t erase the hurt. Being pushed out the back door seconds before getting caught or being snubbed in public... I know what I’m sacrificing. My pride, my self-respect...  but it’s worth it. For those few hours when he wants me, craves me, when he’s looking deep into my eyes and calling my name... For those precious moments, he loves me. I could be everything he needs, and more. I could be there for him, through everything. I could make him so happy... Of course, I know that. He never will. How could he ever love, ever care about, ever respect someone like me? It could never happen. And so, I take what I can get. Those insignificant moments of affection, those fleeting whispers... I would trade every ounce of my vanity, my honour, my self respect, just for one kiss from him. Just to feel loved, just one more time... Pathetic, isn’t it?

Unfreeze

Bridesmaid 1: Yes, of course...

Mother: Exactly. You’re going to have a wonderful marriage; now all you need to concentrate on is enjoying your day

Bride: Thanks Mam...

Bridesmaid 1: Katie?

Bridesmaid 2: Hm?

Bridesmaid 1: I just want another chance to say I’m �"

Bridesmaid 2: Save it. This is her day, not ours.

Bridesmaid 1: But I really need a chance to �"

Bridesmaid 2: I said we’re not doing this here, not now. You’re not ruining this too.

Bridesmaid 1: I’m sorry...

Flower Girl: [To Mother] When do I get my real flowers? I’m bored.

Mother: Soon Love, I promise! For now just keep practising with your papers, that’s a good girl.

Flower girl begins to skip around the stage scattering bits of paper as though they were flowers

Bridesmaid 2: Now, have you got everything?

Bride: I think so...

Bridesmaid 2: Old?

Bride: Check.

Bridesmaid 2: New?

Bride: Check.

Bridesmaid 2: Borrowed?

Bride: Check.

Bridesmaid 2: and blue.

Both: Check.

Bridesmaid 2: You’ve got your vows sorted?

Bride: Learned off word for word.

Bridesmaid 2: And the spare rings are �"

Both: In the bag in case he forgets

Bride: I know. Now stop worrying about me, I’m going to be fine.

Bridesmaid 2: Of course you are. You’re going to be wonderful.

Freeze

He says he’s sorry. Over and over again, he’s sorry. He loves me, it meant nothing... He’s practically on his knees, begging for forgiveness. It’s the most attention I’ve gotten from him in years. I should leave him. Of course I should. What am I doing with a �" a cheat? How could I ever expect to trust him again? Everyone knows, and they just look at me. They stare, with these pitying expressions, mock sympathy, sorrow... it sickens me. Like they know what I’m going through. Like they care? All they see is some stupid girl, me, clinging to the only man she could ever find... while he’s... he’s... I keep imagining it. His lips brushing against hers, those lips I know so well, lips that have... well, I don’t kiss and tell. His hand slithering across her skin, their voices mingling, their bodies... It’s hell. And yet �" how can I be without him? I don’t even remember how anymore. I know what you’re thinking. It’s alright, I would too, but... when you love someone, I mean really love someone. When they become a part of you, and then just... all the rules change. It’s sensible; it’s logical and right that I finish it now. That I let him go. A clean break, you know? But since when has love ever been sensible?

Unfreeze

Bridesmaid 2: Knock ‘em dead babe.

Bride: I will.

Mother: Now come on you two stop dallying; time’s a wasting here for God’s sake!

Bridesmaid 1: Just a few more touches...

Bride: Alright alright would you stop poking at me already!

Bridesmaid 2: We poke because we care, now sit still.

Mother: Yes and we have to work double time here, we’ve only got ten minutes then we’ve got to hit the road. All hands on deck here, Victoria would you ever put the phone away and give us a hand?

Bridesmaid 3: Just a sec, I’m texting �"

Bride: Tommy, obviously

Bridesmaid 2: Who else?

Mother: I think the most recent squeeze can wait five minutes while you hold your sister’s train �"

Bridesmaid 3: Fine fine fine, just let me finish this one �"

Freeze

X X X Lovez U, Vicky. Smiley face. And sent. I think I love him. It took us a while to find our niche, but we’ve hit it now. At first it was just one x, then two, then seven which, let’s be honest, just isn’t practical. Three, that’s perfect. The magic number. Three kisses to end each message, and that’s all I need to be sure he still loves me. We’ve been together two weeks now, two whole weeks! I know, It’s been incredible. Every time I see him I just wanna... Squish him! Of course, I had to be cool at first. Play hard to get, you know? But I feel we’re finally there, now. We’ve gotten to that special place where I can really open up to him, tell him things. Share my innermost thoughts and secrets. Well, that’s what soul mates are for, of course. Three minutes... hmm... that’s odd. He normally replies within exactly three minutes of receiving my message. That’s our system, you see. But, it’s already been... How long? I know he could be busy, making tea or carrying something heavy but �" no, no it’s 1:30PM see? He always watches Dr Phil at 1:30PM. I love that about him, he’s so caring... Maybe I should text him again, just in case... He might have had an accident or something...

Unfreeze

Mother: Victoria would you get a move on?

Bridesmaid 3: Alright alright I’m coming.

Bridesmaid 1: Just grab onto her train I’m redoing her pedicure �"

Bride: Is all this really necessary?

Bridesmaid 2: Hold still and we’ll be done much quicker, I don’t understand it this cowlick just won’t sit down...

Mother: Look all this talking is ruining your make up; I’ll have to touch it up one more time...

Bride: Mam it’s fine just leave it �"

Bridesmaid 1: It’s all just last minute prep, we need to make sure everything’s �"

Bride: Perfect, I know.

Bridesmaid 2: Well it is the most important day of your life.

Bridesmaid 1: There’s no going back now.

Bridesmaid 3: Soulmates, together for all time �"

Bride: Stop!

Freeze.

The most important day of my life... I never thought of it like that. We’re just so comfortable, so familiar, this was just sort of... inevitable. If I’d known it would turn into this f*****g circus... We’ve been together since we were fifteen. We were practically kids, and so in love, back then. We’re been through so much... we’re practically a unit. My parents have pretty much adopted him, and yet... I can’t help but ask... Is this it? Oh God, what am I saying? It’s ridiculous. Of course I love him, no one could ever compare... But of course, how could they? I’ve grown up with him. No one else knows what flavour toothpaste I like best, no one else remembers me with braces, no other last name sounds pretty next to mine... No one else can ever replace that, even after ten years, fifteen, twenty. No one else will ever be my first. Do I really want this? It’s all felt so passive, you know? Do I want him, or am I just scared of going it alone? That’s not how it’s supposed to feel, is it? Is this love, or am I already too late?

Unfreeze

Mother: There, done.

Bridesmaid 2: The most beautiful bride I have ever seen.

Bridesmaid 1: What can I say, these fingers are magical!

Bridesmaid 3: They’re at the church guys!

Mother: Jesus, the rolls is outside, move it all of you!!

Bridesmaid 2: Ooooh I’m so excited, I love weddings �"

Bridesmaid 3: Tommy’s wearing a suit, you think he’ll like my dress?

Bride: Please, it’s my dress he’ll be looking at, you!

Mother, Bride and the three Bridesmaids all rush out, babbling amongst themselves, leaving the flower girl behind with her teddy.

Flower Girl: This is Boo Boo. He’s almost as old as I am. I’m five. My daddy bought him for me �" he says he’s mine to keep the monsters away when I can’t sleep. Boo Boo always keeps the monsters away. I love my Daddy, and I love Boo Boo.

Exit Flowergirl, skipping away and humming to herself.

Blackout.