8 Satires @ the SAM

No Disclaimer

1. If I were to steal any piece from the Seattle Art Museum it would be the Chicago Stock Exchange Gate, in all of its art deco glory. The gate seems to be more of a symbol of power and capitalism than artistic freedom. Its function is literally to keep people out, but I thought that art is for everyone. So why is it celebrated here? Museums are institutions and, unless it’s the first Thursday of the month, this very place is gated to those who can’t pay and is capitalizing off of showing art. I would re-art my Chicago Stock Exchange Gate for political purposes, probably arrange it intentionally dismantled and covered with graffiti. Vines would wind through it as though nature were destroying capitalism and they’d congregate in the center where the doors are mangled apart forming a rising fist or some other symbol for the people and our struggle.

2. Minimalism is a steaming pile of waste. Careful not to trip over the 2 boards of wood on the ground, it’s art. Chicken wire balled up and named “Felt” (ironically, I assume); it’s art. Lined paper in wooden frames with a single blob of water paint in the center; it’s all art. The only reason why the Vogels’ could be so generous in donating 50 pieces to 50 states is because their minimalist works take no effort. These pieces don’t evoke thought, they’re mindless, bland and unimpressive. No skills, no symbolism, no narrative, just existentialism, just snobbery, it’s just rich people who’ve branded themselves and rub their affluence in our faces. Viewers stroll through it stupefied. Some blame themselves for not “getting it”, some pontificate in the interests of their own egos, some become irate, and we’re paying for this abuse. This is a malicious prank the museum plays.
3. I stepped outside of the museum for a dual purpose to smoke a cigarette with classmates and to view the new installation. Someone had vomited by the museum steps. Beige crumbles of either eggs or oatmeal, partially digested, are strewn like runes in a splattering of translucent mucus on concrete. Is this the new installation?
4. Beyond the minimalism and beyond the works from the 30’s and 40’s and beyond the works from the 1800’s, the SAM finally drops the eurocentrism. In the furthest South stretch of galleries a number of non-white cultures seem indiscriminately lumped together much like Seattle’s Central District. This area quickly jumps between aboriginal Australian patterns, water boards from the Pacific Islands, Japanese tea ceremonies, a quilt from the historic Gee’s Bend in America’s black South, contemporary art from India and more. So many items in this area, and in museums generally, are devoid of their intended purpose (transport, ritual, snuggling) to be admired from afar. Don’t lean too close into the tea room or surveillance technologies will discover you and beep until you back off. Would it be so bad if we interacted with these objects? Warmed ourselves under a blanket, or had a master walk us through a tea ceremony as we sit in the alcove sipping steeped water? There’s no better way to explore art from another culture than to enter into its context. Museums encourage a form of detachment from culture and art.
5. The multi-cultural ghettos of SAM have been pillaged of their wealth. In an adjacent gallery lies a similarly eclectic agglomeration of gold objects. I was struck by Avalokiteshvara, the thousand-armed and thousand-headed most compassionate bodhisattva. His capacity of knowledge and for helping is incomprehensible, like that of God or Santa, and comes from his nature of multiplicity. He is a mirror, as we transform through the continuums of the world we shift between our own thousands of faces. Each shift broadens our perspective and allows us to be more compassionate. {Compassion serves the progress of anarchy.} Here Avalokiteshvara shows the face of opulence amongst the rest of the gold objects, here they are just shimmering things that humans have been fascinated by.
6. The esteemed works of Rembrandt, highly advertised by this institution, remains gated on the free day. The works of one of the greatest painters from European art history must only be for the wealthy.
7. Outside Rembrandt’s ticket collection are displays of African costumes and masks. The Okumkpa masks of Nigeria are used in a gathering where the wearers call out the foolish behaviors of their peers and leaders with jokes and humor. Not to romanticize another culture or anything, but I found this to be a beautiful, instinctual, and refreshing way to hold people accountable. Roasts on Comedy Central are the closest thing from my culture that I can relate this, which serve the cult of celebrity more than growth. I watched the video display behind the dressed mannequins showing footage of this spectacle, and cracked up at the twisting expressions of those being criticized. As they are called out their perspectives shift, I could see it in their eyes. Part of this ritual includes a competition where individuals come forward and testify as to how they are the most foolish individual. The most ridiculous wins a small pot and I find it fitting that the trophy has been awarded to this museum.
8. Here’s a funny joke; mannequins are dressed in Victorian clothes, their posture is stiff. There’s a mother, a father, a son and a daughter. They are old-fashioned, but their African textiles scream in bright colors and busy patterns. They think highly of themselves, they are so cultured in their misappropriation. They are headless.