Amanda Caldwell

Amanda Caldwell wants nothing to do with our destroyed world, she fantasizes over the day she can get lost in the rain. She has no one else to live for but herself, can she befriend the rain or catch

I decided to get away from the dark society around me. Too fat, too skinny, too white, too dark. Not perfect. I looked out the window. The sky was depressed and the large clouds were moving towards our small town. I smiled at what was coming soon. Rain. Oh how I loved the rain, I love the sound of the pitter-patter of water hitting the roads of concrete. My eyes widened as the gifted mist sprayed from the sky. I rushed out of my shelter without a coat nor shoes. I never wanted anything holding me back from the storm. I was wearing pajama bottoms, with images of black bears scattered around the fabric. My top was plain black. I wish I could find better words to describe everything around me. I wish I could be better.

I felt a sensation run through my hopeless body as the thunder crackled in the sky. I let my feet get cut by sharp rocks as I took steps to the creak. The creak. It was a place where I could go to ponder about this dreadful world. I always sensed there was a purpose and I do believe I understand the reason but today it's not too bright in my mind. I didn't want to think about anything but the rain.

The raindrops leaked down my pale, fragile cheeks like tears. In some world they were my own tears. No one understands like I do. I let them fall down my face to my chest and down my skin. At first they all came slow than more started to hit harder and harder. I lifted my chin to the sky and closed my soulless eyes and some mist covered my eyelids. Could I have felt better in this moment? No. The saddest moment is when the sun spills through those storm clouds. Oh I wish it could rain forever even when my body shivered and the drops became colder. I opened my eyes just so I could run further to the creak. I had almost forgotten about the mission I had planned. Maybe this was fate, maybe I should go through with it. I climbed up an old oak tree stump to seek further how far to go now. I saw the horizon of the silky moist waters ahead. I tilted my chin back to the sky for reassurance. The wind gave me the answer and I sighed. It was wrong. I listen to Rain. I've danced with Rain, sang with Rain, had my best moments with Rain. Rain gave me a sign, this rain fall was the one.

Consuming all the breath from inside my lungs, I knew I had to give myself to the rain one day or another. I stepped closer to the creak. Fat bodies of water flowing lastly through the streaming creek. No one was around, everyone scrambles away when the rain falls, they don't see it the way I do. I found a rock to sit on, resting my feet in the creek below. Maybe it was pointless because I was already soaked. I felt tadpoles swimming, bumping against my feet as they make their way to their own shelter from the storm. Or were they safe from the storm? I ask questions about a lot of things only Wind could answer. Wind was wise but Rain was strong. Rain would tell me things and I would do it, but when the wind talked... I barely listened. I guess I remembered it's advice for me because of the fuss it gave that day. Never mind that, Rain could do worse if he wishes.

I straightened up my back to scan the waters. The rain had made the creek rise to at least my shoulders if I went in. I was jealous of every item that drown in that polluted muddy water. I could have been that... The wind nudged me trying to show me something but I ignored it once more. My feet started to turn a dark purple in my veins, I ignored that feeling too, I didn't care. My feet wouldn't be mine soon enough.

I let my feet slosh in the mud as I walked along the creek path. Dead, over watered grass surrounded my cold, muddy feet. I felt nothing just the numbing feeling running through my body. I thought maybe if I jumped in now, I could get this numbing life over with. I don't feel like I'm depressed.. I feel drawn to Rain and I felt, heard, seen him tell me to follow him..through the creek. The sky still was gloomy and sobbing, my body was still shaking like a leaf. I didn't want to go back inside my home, home wasn't an option. Rain was home and home was rain. Could, would I need to say goodbye to anyone? No friends. Could, would anyone care? No family. Could, would anyone save me? No pets. I had more of a relationship with the mouse living in the kitchen than anyone else that has every been in my life. This didn't sadden me. People forsaken me, Rain doesn't, he hasn't and will never.

Wind helps me dance with him, pushing me into his sobbing streaks. Wind would stroke me as we danced, no one else would bother us, no one stared. I felt like no one ever stared, and I'm glad for that. Can people care? I don't feel like they do about me. But Wind and Rain does, I'm glad. People don't talk to me, which I'm also glad for. Who wants a relationship with someone who has made this world so atrocious and filthy? I don't. Wind blows away the litter of people's worthless fortune and rain cleans the sin from the streets.

I...Well I am an unfortunate human though I am nothing like them. I am more like Rain than anything, anyone else. Rain is free but demanding. He wants the best for everyone although he never thinks for himself. He sobs about the smallest things and punishes others for his misfortune. Maybe that was okay though, he was unfortunate like the rest. He is aloud to be depressed. Or am I more like Wind. Wind is compassionate, always wanting to help someone who didn't want to walk another. It's helped me more than anyone else, and Rain. Wind can be gentle but when it wants something, it plays rough to win what it wants. It has wanted me to stay with him and itself when I've been low, so it lifted  me up when I jumped. Wind lifts me up when I can't take care of myself anymore. I see it as a friend..a helping father but I don't see it like Rain.

Rain was different. He made me feel like he was always with me. He was a sobbing spirit that never left. Why could I not see him as a person? I guess I couldn't see him as one because I despised their souls. Did I hate them because of their actions or their inner soul? Maybe I didn't hate all of them... But I wouldn't know because I only met a few. Their names faded in my mind, they meant nothing to me other than the slight memory how I met them. Three ladies at my doorstep, asking in a language for something. I was too scared to answer them back, I didn't know what they would do to me. The other person would hurt me. Grabbing my wrist, bruises, pain. I had run away with Wind that night, I never talked to anyone else again.

I could no longer feel my toes, they were numb, weak and unrecognizable. Could they get back to normal? Would I care if they did? My fingers began to do the same. I felt a warm Wind come my way over the now frozen raindrops on my feet. I smiled slightly, I knew Wind wanted me to save this for another day, get warm again and live on but I couldn't. Going back to a rotten, hopeless home? Could I just stay here and drown in Rain's tears? Wind tried to reassure me of my thoughts, tried like it always did. It disagrees with Rain constantly. Who do I believe? Rain. I lifted my chin to his gloomy face once more as I asked him in my mind what he really wanted. He could always read me.

"You." He thundered. I nodded my response to him as I struggled up the hill above this creek. Wind tried blowing me the other direction and I shouted my mission. I scanned the area  below me as I made it to the top. The edge of the cliff went straight down. I could see my small town, children playing in puddles and the rain hitting the ground. My heart felt empty and my stomach felt nervous but my brain felt brave. Brave to jump, brave to fall and brave to land. Wind was begged me to stay but Rain cried for me to go to him. Could I let Rain down if I didn't go through with this or would he understand? Rain always wanted his way... but what about Wind... Could I wait one more day?
Rumble
Rain answered my mindless question as he demanded Wind to push. My mind kept making questions to ask before I fell but I pushed them away. 
Wind blew me to the edge of the cliff and it struggled to let me go. More thunder arose and that's when my feet lifted off the grass. I was soaring down, fighting against Wind as I plummeted down to the earth's ground. Goodbye home, goodbye kitchen mouse, goodbye scary dreadful humans, goodbye Sky and goodbye Sun. 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading my short story Amanda Caldwell: Raindrops . This story is fictional and was an adventure to write (even though it was short I hope you all found it powerful).