The Secret.

A love story.

She knew my name who always ignored me
From six to sixteen she never let on
She always walked with an air of purpose
As if she were off to some place of fun
That was outside my going
She contained a secret she would never let slip
It was not for my knowing

I too had my secret and kept it from her
I hid it where human eyes never could probe
I carried it with me to where only I
Could speak it aloud knowing I was alone
So I told her quite open (though she was a tree)
That all I revealed was only the tip
And even the tree said it never could be

I've a feeling her mother would not have approved
Of this rough scruffy lad with the scabs on his knees
I tried to clean them but they were tattooed
I'd as well try cleaning the breeze from the trees
So I watched from a distance and gave not a sign
Of the feelings that grew with the passing of time
With the passing the mountain got harder to climb

When she was sixteen I cannot describe
A miraculous transformation took place
Her body, her movement, her looks all moved to
Her meridian of perfection in lines and grace
It was then that I realised, sadly, that I
Was not in the scope of her planetary chart
Not even a speck in the spread of her sky

I decided to take myself out of her life
To make me a life on some far foreign shore
Where I could forget that she ever had been
Where her silent aloofness could taunt me no more
So I joined the army, convinced I'd done right
So sure I'd forget with the passing of time
Found her face ever there on the blank page of night

Twenty full years I spent in the army
Twenty full years where I saw not a sign
Of the girl I had loved from my first day of school
And she'd never aged on the stage of my mind
Then came the day when my service was finished
Then came the day when I left bag in hand
And left with a love that had never diminished

Africa, Ireland, the Falklands, the Gulf
I'd fought and I'd travelled all over the world
I'd seen everything that the world has to offer
And nothing had taken the place of this girl
Now the decision, where was I to go?
With all the world to peruse over I
Decided that there was one thing I should know

I made my way back to the place of my childhood
Discretely enquired where she now lived and lo!
Found she'd never moved from the place of her birth
Until; that is, three short weeks ago
Fate, ever vigilant, ever alert
Decreed that she die just before my return
Timed to create the maximum hurt

No words can describe the pain of my loss
Yet how can you lose what you never held?
Suddenly everything seemed to dissolve
Into a void that could never be filled
With nowhere to go and nothing to do
Just a waste of days that stretched before
There was a person whom I should speak to

I called on her brother, said I was a friend
Who had moved over seas many years before
Said I hoped he'd forgive me but I'd just returned
And had learned of her death and I wished to know more
So we sat and we talked for an hour or so
And he told of her life spent mostly alone
How she had stayed true to a love long ago

I sat and I listened to the story unfold
Of the rough scruffy lad with the scabs on his knees
Whom she had loved but he was too distant
And eventually lost to some place over seas
He looked at me sadly for he realised
That I was the secret love who'd slipped away
The story was plain from the pain in my eyes

Walking the streets of my childhood was painful
Seeing her ghost turn the end of the street
Watching her walk with an air of purpose
In search of a love whom she never would greet
Paradise gone! Oh, it tears at the heart
To think it was lost for the want of a word
That the ocean was silence that kept us apart

So here's to the love that could never be
For two loving hearts that could never confide
I went to her grave and sat under the tree
Under the birch that stood by her graveside
The Oracle birch. What an irony!
It would be so funny, were it never so sad
This tree had foretold that it never could be

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

A well narrated love story Bryan which didn't have a happy ending. Childhood love, that didn't fade with the passing of time. You know the conclusion was even sadder because the timing was not aligned. I have to say there is a lesson to be learned hear. Nicely done Bryan.Good evening to you.

Chris

[Bryan Sefton]

As usual Chris, thanks for your nice comments.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome Bryan. Good morning to you.

[alanwgraham]

What a sad story of what could have been Bryan. You have made an epic tale out of it which tugs at your heartstrings. Somehow you know how it ends. Well done!
Regards,
Alan

[Bryan Sefton]

Thank you Alan,, that's a very nice comment and greatly appreciated.