It's so loud

It's so loud

A Poem by Rivaxorus
"

So many questions

"
As I drown 
In my regrets
I can't take back
The words I never said

I could hear your voice
Empty in the wind
Hoping you might be listening
Because I want you to know

It's loud in my head
With words I could've said
But I never did
And never saw you again

Never a connection
Never a word spoken
Even when they were there
You weren't

As I drown
In my regrets
I can't take back
The words I never said

© 2013 Rivaxorus


Author's Note

Rivaxorus
It's always hard to deal with death. And however we get over it, is different. It's almost been a year since one of my friends at school died, we were in a play together, and he had the most amazing effect on the entire school district. Other schools were mourning for him after the fourteen year old boy died. And we all loved the cheerful boy who had so much ahead of him. So I've been thinking, what would happen, if I ever forgot him?

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Reviews

This is might disappoint you a lot if you're not trying to quote the song for about half of your poem, but the phrases, "As I drown
In my regrets
I can't take back
The words I never said" and
"It's loud in my head
With words I could've said," have been used almost exactly in song, "Words I Never Said," by Lupe fiasco featuring Skyler grey. I'm guessing you did that subconsciously unless you've never heard the song before, but plagiarism's something you've gotta be really careful about, but it's easy to look out for. If you're ever got the feeling that what you're writing isn't original, you can just type it into a Google search and see what comes up. As a writer I know how nerve-wracking it is to find out about these sorts of things, and i feel even worse about saying this reading your author's note, but the song's really popular, so someone probably would tell you eventually, and the longer you're left unaware of this, the worse it would be when you find out.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Awesome write girl, and so completely human. The truth spoken in volumes but poetically condensed to form a really excellent poem. I know myself, that I have experienced this many times, perhaps on a daily basis and toeing the line of sanity because of the voices that speak words unsaid. Way to go Seimei.

Posted 10 Years Ago


It's loud in my head
With words I could've said
But I never did
And never saw you again

This is full of wisdom, a lesson learned in tragedy - to never let those words build up until it is too late. Good write!

Posted 10 Years Ago


This sounded like a good sad song...Well done. I like the repetition at the end...:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


I love the intent of this piece! Many will identify with this one-the conversations we have inside our heads saying the words that we hesitate to say out loud. This is an excellent piece of work!

Posted 10 Years Ago



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5 Reviews
Added on June 13, 2013
Last Updated on June 13, 2013

Author

Rivaxorus
Rivaxorus

Apple Valley, CA



About
Hello there my name is Abby Lawless, although I do prefer the nickname Rivaxorus. I'm Seventeen years old and live in California. I love writing, I'm hoping to make a career and live off of working wi.. more..

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A Poem by Rivaxorus