funeral pangs

funeral pangs

 

white blossoms embroidered

onto molten orange skies

 

she peeks like a child

through dramatic black veils

 

crimson flowers on graves

like laughter from coffins

dew writes liquid poems on stone

 

grass green with life sings twisty amens

her lily white feet long to dance

 

organ smog chokes the smiles of notes

the dead have no reason to rise

 

each shallow breath curses her corset

body as bound as the rest of this scene

doll-painted corpse in her fancy laced box

 

seems ready to be put away

Reviews

[What happened to simple..]

I love your contrast of colours, and the delicate with harsh death,, 'shallow' dying 'breath,' it's all very heartfelt, very china doll from the beginning with 'molten orange skies' and 'white blossoms,' the 'smog' of the city.

I also love how you just put her away, like she's nothing - yet in the making, we find she's so much more.. the nature describes her personality for me =) xx LOVE this!

[Frank F. Atanacio]

This is indded a funeral pang-- wow, gives death a different prespective

[Misty Blue Eyes]

very deep description here. i love your work

[Marie Harrison]

What a dark but beautiful poem! I too felt as if I was behind the black laced veil. Chilling poem.

[Geralyn Miller]

A poem with intense contrasts; beauty/ugliness, sweet/cruel, beginnings/endings;
a masterful job of writing.

[Juliet Ray]

I love how vividly I could see the picture that you were forming with this poem. Lines like "dew writes liquid poems on stone" and "doll-painted corpse in her fancy laced box" really showed the darkness with a sense of beauty. Wow!

[Franklyn]

This is amazing
you made a funeral and death seem bewitchingly beautoful
xxx

[Maurice]

Amazing contrasts and images in this poem. Superb.

[Robin]

man ...

[Kerry O'Connor]

Holy S**t!

This is staged like a moment in a Victorian novel and yet is so real, I feel like I am the woman behind the veil - I can see and feel everything. Some of these lines are immortal: dew writes liquid poems on stone... the dead have no reason to rise...
The finale is heartbreaking: in two words you capture the unreality of death to those who most go on living, and all that is lost when the remains are 'put away'.

[KAREN]

The imagery is amazing and so is your poem!!