oil changes, 80s music and love

went to get my oil changed

by a cover band guitarist

at that saggy old blue garage

on Winslow

 

wanted to get some pointers

on the bebop half diminished scale

but he was trying to invite

a shapely brunette with a flat tire

to his Culture Club tribute

show at the Ugly Mug tonight

 

should've mentioned

his damsel in distress

had a fairly obvious Adam's apple

but I hate to step on a good

punch line

 

I escaped quickly

I didn’t want to be the next

to tell him I wasn’t interested

in revisiting the 1980s

for any reason

 

as I drove home

I noticed a flock of love bugs

having an airborne orgy

at a stoplight  

 

when I took off

about a thousand winged lovers

splattered on my windshield

 

at least they died happy,

I thought

 

when I got back home

I was going to have a few cold beers

smoke a couple bowls of the Dro

and listen to my Whale Sounds CD

while killing pedestrians

on Grand Theft Auto

 

but my wife had drafted a different

version of a productive

Saturday afternoon

 

so, I’m riding my lawnmower

like Speed Racer

and begging my thoughts

to remain indoors

 

I figure that if I let my opinion

break through my lips

I’ll probably end up at the Mug

listening to an on tap remix

of Karma Chameleon

 

begging some poor drunkard

to share their germ infested couch

with a 35 year old loser

who hasn’t even mastered

the bebop half diminished scale

on his $40 yard sale guitar

 

happily boring

beats broke, lonely and uncool

no matter what equation

you use

 

God, I love that woman

almost as much as I hate

the sound of homelessness

Reviews

[K.C. Zbryk]

I managed to miss the 80's but the rest of this reminds me of some of the characters i have run across. Especially the gas station attendant. I think the entire piece is incredably amusing. I almost burst out laughing when i read the line "at least they died happy"
And the reflection at the end about trying to find a couch to crash on is amazing. The last stanza was the perfect ending to this. I love these poems that reflect on life and thoughts and how they twist and turn somehow connecting everything. Great piece, i enjoyed every moment of this read.

[Pretty Faces Split Open]

this so excellent! love "I noticed a flock of love bugs
having an airborne orgy
at a stoplight

when I took off
about a thousand winged lovers
splattered on my windshield

at least they died happy,"

may we all die in post-coital bliss

[graynuss]

this is so good, i didnt grow up in the 80's but this is so powerfull , well done (:

[MOON]

Humorous write , where we are and where we would like to be like the line listening to an on tap remix
of Karma Chameleon

[roarke]

The sound of homelessness, car tires on the wet pavement of streets to nowhere....

The cool thing here is the way love is portrayed as a cameo character.

Then there's this one,
"when I took off
about a thousand winged lovers
splattered on my windshield"

it's stuff like that in your writing that comes out and grabs the reader by the throat and gets them to focus.

This hits all the minor and diminished notes in that Bebop scale, from beginning to end, it's pure you.

[Larry Dyson]

he yBob, this is the stuff I love the most from your keyboard..

[EMF]

That's the second time this morn I have laughed out loud and scared a customer. But that's all right. That's what they're there for. A perfection, but in terms of advice... a good steel resonator makes you feel like you're really playing a guitar. Plus, if you use a slide, when it all goes tit's up you can claim it's authentic Cajun Jazz Fusion and no one is any the wiser.

[freelancejouster]

i really like this. it flows almost languidly and the insanity of your usual (can it even be called usual? your usual unusualness) work is present but in a new way. it's like a less angry crazy man. early stage alzheimers vs. late stage, and all that, to resurrect that.

you've created a story from the mundane.

at least they died happily.

[Lily Mae]

Oh, seriously this is the best I've read in so long.. I had a smile and laughed at the events, the people and the way you just floated with the flow of things.. The part where you are listening to whale sounds while killing pedestrians..omg.. that was good. Isn't it strange what we do in the event of one day...and was any of it what we really wanted to do..??? No... but we do it anyways..xo

[Brad]

HAH! the smell of homelessness...that was killer!

i kept thinknig wedding singer when reading this