Breathe

Breathe

 

It wasn’t the way my hand slipped perfectly in yours

Nor the way your fingers played softly with my hair

It wasn’t the way you smiled so sweetly

Or the sparkle in your eye when you eagerly kissed me

It wasn’t the way your hungry lips fit mine

Or even your breath as you let out a sigh

It wasn’t the rush of warmth flushing my cheeks

Nor the electrifying vibe I felt that made me weak

It wasn’t any of these that cut my heart’s chain

It was simply the way that you whispered my name

Reviews

[Serendipity]

Thank you for this.

I had been needing words to express a feeling I had within. A way to say thank you to the person who helped me "cut my heart's chain." A way to let them know how grateful I am for helping me. It brings a knot to my throat as I read this for I'm thankful for your words.

[Maria Retz]

Wow, this is so beautiful, it gave me goosebumps.
Beautiful, beautiful worded.
I just love it :)
Now, what I loved about it is the simplicity, the way you repeat it wasn't...
the end becomes so powerful when you build it up like this.

Great job

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wonderfully done... sometimes it takes one simple gesture to bring the heart out of it's shell... the way someone says your name can say alot... another stunning piece.

[Forest Green]

Excellent poem...touchingly rhymed and memorable with sensitive lines laden with feeling.

Very well done...


Daniel

[Legion]

That would tickle if one did that in my ear. I'm squeamish when it comes to that. :) I like this. The progression to what it was that "did it" was nicely done. Kudos.

[Blue Sky]

That would just about fix anyone
with the whisper, you worded all so wonderfully,

It was simply the way that you whispered my name

really a great piece of writing, beautiful work!!

[Ravenskald]

very nice, hmm I guess I'm just waiting for you to develop a theme in detail now :)
But this
"It was simply the way that you whispered my name"
Is a wonderful line, not all of the above, which was very nice, but just a simple piece of thoughtfulness
~raven