Suicide

Note: This Poem is by no means romantic in any way. It is a product of my idle imagination and may seem a little random for some. Also, as usual, this being a Shogun product, smaller readers beware.

Another warning, this, being a Shogun product, is vile, and violent in nature. There are guts, brains, and everything else murderous in between. Also, I'm only 14 so please don't judge, I do this in my spare time so if it feels a little off please don't take it too seriously. And, no, I don't have, or need a psychologist. Anyhoo, if you are enjoying the poem (especially the murder part) more than you should, please go get a doctor and I'm serious.My work appalled even me to if you have the urge to laugh as the character(s) murder and/or kill one another please go get help. This said, please rate fairly and add me as a friend cause I'm a little lonely.

Down to my last bottle,

Down to my last drink,

On my knees crying,

 Trying to find a link.

I know that you’ve been seeing him,

 I knew it all along,

Keeping my mouth quiet,

 And wondering what I did wrong.

His face is hauntingly familiar, I’ve seen him somewhere before,

The way he walks reminds me of what I could have been,

And it pounds my heart till its sore.

I watch the kisses you’ve given him,

The amorous hugs, oh yes I know,

I watch until the tears come,

Tears that I rarely show.

You tell me you’re going out with the girls,

But you were never much of a good liar,

And although I’d never stop you,

My broken heart was scorched upon a fire.

You used to say our loves eternal,

And that we’d outlast time itself,

But now all I ever wonder,

Is whether I’m returned to that shelf.

I've felt my heart break again and again,

Hoping that he will just fade away someday

But watching you leave the house in such an eager way,

Makes me wonder if I should even stay.

He’s definitely got a better face than mine,

And muscles people would adore,

Money never seems to be scarce whenever he’s around,

And it’s a pity I can never be so much more.

I've seen the way that he holds you,

And your face just full of bliss,

I’ll never forget the way he leans onto you,

And your face as you accept the kiss.

I watched as your loyalties fade,

All the promises never fulfilled.

Now I wonder, should there be any difference,

Should I ever be killed.

Suicide would cure my anguish,

And my heartache would not bother me once more,

All the pain would be undone,

The damage would be unwound,

 And the hurting would be as if it hadn’t come through the door

After all, she does not need me,

The shrivelled shell of the man I’ve become,

For with him all her wishes would come true,

And I’ll just be the forgotten one.

Hanging would be a viable option,

But setting it up would be such a chore,

Decapitation seems like a way to go,

But the blood would ruin the floor.

Drowning would seem efficient and clean,

But I wanted to be gone quick.

But then I decided on a bullet,

For all it took was just a click.

There I was, with the gun against my head.

Pulling the trigger was harder than I thought,

Foreseeing my funeral, watching as she cries,

Watching as she cries in his arms.

Then I felt nothing, no more emotions to be fought.

She was happy with him,

The way he leans onto her,

And her face as she accepts the 

Author's Note

A little rushed in the end, as I try to mirror the protagonists, anguish, and how he wanted the deed to be done quickly, without fuss.

Reviews

[RAOrourke]

I loved the way your poem evoked such emotion as I read it, and the pacing & rhythm were flawless. I thought you did a really great job with this and your story really flowed and painted a tortured picture of this poor soul who has lost his battle with life and love. Great job!

[Shogun]

Thanks RAO, your kind words are most appreciated.

[Camelia Pal]

Dear shogun,
You are a prodigy!
This is too good for your age.
Keep up the excellent work.
I would stay tuned for more.
Camelia pal

[Shogun]

Thanks Camelia, for keeping an eye out for my future prose. :D

[SweeTLoU]

lots of emotion in that bud you really painted the picture of devastation you feel when things like that happen

[Shogun]

Thanks LoU, I had to summon all my darkest emotions while listening to the Johnny Cash's cover of Nine Inch Nail's 'Hurt' to get my mojo on.

[SweeTLoU]

I usually listen to tool or a perfect circle or slipknot or black label society or korn...thats whwn i usually get hit with somethin to write