I'll Be Good

After a loved one dies, it's hard to keep going. But you'll still make it through.

I had forgotten the feeling of laughter ever since he died. I remember it vividly. The rain was pouring down as grey clouds covered the sky, blocking the bright sun from shining. We were coming home from school, riding our bikes down a street busy with traffic. He was laughing as he told one of his corny jokes that I’d usually roll my eyes to. We never saw the car that eventually led to the demise of my friend. All I recall from that moment was bright shining lights, bike parts scattered everywhere, me becoming drenched, and the sound of rain draining out the sounds of shouts and screams.

I shut away those thoughts as I walked through the grass. It was freshly cut, the smell of it filling up the air. Today’s his funeral-my friend’s. His name is-my bad- I mean his name was David, David Walker. We had been friends since kindergarten. It was one of those friendships that would last for a lifetime. Or at least, I thought it would. I kicked a small pebble that was hidden in the grass.

His girlfriend was here. I guess it's just ex-girlfriend now. I always thought she was bitchy, always getting up in everyone’s business. Sometimes I’d think that maybe she was just using him. I’d even try to tell him, but he’d dismiss the idea, saying it was nothing.

If only he knew now.

The feeling was surreal honestly. It didn’t feel like he was gone. It felt like the next day I’d get ready for school and head out the door, and he’d be there, waiting for me. But he can’t now.

The funeral was over by now. People started to depart, heading back to their cars. My parents were by their own, waiting for me. I stayed a bit longer, admiring the sunset that was painted across the sky. Mixtures of blue, orange, and purple vividly streaked into the sky. It was beautiful. I’d enjoy it even more, if it wasn’t today.

I took a seat on the soft grass, it was still a bit wet. I didn’t care much about that. I played around with the edge of my black dress, feeling the cloth as it gracefully fell through my fingers. My red hair ran down to my shoulders, like a waterfall. My shoes were a bit muddy, probably since the grass was still wet. Great, now I’ll have to go wash my shoes when we go home, I thought.

There was a bunch of roses resting by the coffin. He used to call me Rosy. Oh right, I forgot to mention. My name is Rose Lilith. Ironic am I right? My name is basically about flowers.

It’s tough to think about him. I can’t even imagine what his parents are going through. What it’s even like to lose a child...your own child. The first few days after his death was rough. Every time I thought about him, I ended up sobbing. Now it’s kind of like a numb feeling, I’m not sure.

I hope it gets better, at least that’s what people say. David would usually say, Cheer up Rosy, don’t be such a glum bun. There’s still light at the end of the tunnel, it’s just up to you to keep going. I softly smiled to myself.

I looked up at the sunset again. The pink streaks started to show up much clearer in the sky. I imagined David next to me, pointing out the stars that started to become more visible. 

Maybe, I might just get through this. Maybe, I’ll be good.

~I'll be good, I'll be good, And I'll love the world, like I should~

- I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young

Reviews

[dratsab]

Ohh man. I lost my dad recently... before that I wrote a story (not posted on here) about some childhood friends dying. This fits what I'm going through this year (2021).