Beauty - Power and Downfall

A couple of weeks ago, I realized that I owed one of my dearest friends an apology.

Something that I had never thought of occurred to me, the fact that she's really beautiful seems to be a burden to her.

Like a lot of other women, I'm not pretty, not scary, but not pretty.  Most of my life I've been overweight.  Not all my life but most of it.  One of the advantages of being a woman like me is that I really never worried about whether someone liked me because of what I look like.  I've always known that when someone was attracted to me, it was because of who I am.

When I go out with my friend, men follow her around like a dog would follow someone around with a T-Bone steak in their hand.  No matter where we go together, or what we are doing, there they are,  panting with their jaws hanging open. 

We were in a cemetery this past fall and I was in the car while she was out looking around for her grandfather's grave marker.  It had been a long time since she had been at the cemetery and she wasn't quite sure where he was.  She was just walking around, looking at the ground, trying to figure out which plot was his.

Down the road came the work crew for the cemetery.  They slowed their equipment down and were keeping pace with her whenever she moved.  I got out of my car and went up to them.  "What the hell is the matter with you?  She's looking for her grandfathers grave and you all are up there with your tongues hanging out of your mouths, get back to your business."  They took off, good move.  This whole time she was totally oblivious and never knew this even happened until she got back in my car.

What these guys didn't know and should know is, SHE DOESN'T CARE.  She is not here for your viewing pleasure.  She's not just another roadside attraction.  She is the mother of six children, who had a baby die in her arms 17 years ago.  She is a strong and determined woman who never let anyone tell her  what she could or could not do.  She's a hard worker, compassionate and loving and one of the best friends I've ever had.

I'm writing about this today because I had to tell a new friend of mine this afternoon that I thought men around her weren't really looking at her, they were looking at her face and seeing how beautiful she looked.  They weren't looking into her soul and seeing how beautiful she is. 

 She was very hurt and I apologized.  I thought she knew. I suspect, that deep down inside she does, but I'm sure it's not that she wants to.