Nineteen

A Poem by Shaun OBrien

A poem about my late father

As time it brings me closer
To the median of my days
I oft times get to contemplate
How I've faired along the way
Not much is there for me to moan
Or cause a grumbling stir
Or anything of similar kind
To that which I refer

Not often are the times
When I've cursed the sky above
For giving a cross to bear
Or to carry long enough
And seldom are the times
When I've brought shame upon myself
For speaking foul of others
Who might seem to have more wealth

Of all these things I can be glad
And with some modesty
I'd like to think it's been the cause
Of friendship shown to me
In all these things I can take heart
And count respectfully
But only one thing to this day
Has brought great pain to me

It happened in my nineteenth year
An age I shalln't forget
No matter when I leave this world
However old I get
That age has long since passed me by
But always I will be
Nineteen years forevermore
And long since now I've been

For in that year was lost to me
The first man I adored
Who gave me everything he had
And would have given more
And time has caused a distance
That will only ever grow
And take me further from the man
I never saw grow old

And as I sit here wondering
In my nineteen year old mind
How different my life could have been
If life had been more kind
But thoughts like this, although they're never too far from my mind
Can never serve a purpose and only remind me of a time

When I once knew the man who gave me the very life I live
And if he ever had to would have no doubt given me his
But now has gone forever and only memories remain
That fade with the passing of each day like a picture in a frame
But through the tears I can remember
And to this day be glad
I got the chance to know him
And to call him dear old Dad.

© 2021 Shaun OBrien

Author's Note

I wrote this poem last year, but got embarrassed and deleted it. I've tried to remember what I can from the original and it's pretty much how it was, save for a few lines.