Loneliness

This is a page I took from my journal about loneliness, maybe it can inspire or help someone else who is dealing with loneliness.

 

Loneliness isn't just a word, it's a feeling of isolation from any person, place or thing, an emotion that we all may feel at one point in our lives. There has been times when I have felt so alone, that I thought I would roll myself up in a big ole ball and die, I didn't feel as if I belonged neither here, nor there. I would search myself trying to find that safe place, where I could shelter myself and pretend that the world I run to, would also be a place where I find happiness. I often mask myself to fit into places where I don't belong, or minic other's ways to be like them. When your world isn't a happy one, you find yourself feeling as though you is the loneliest person in the world.

You alienate yourself from friends and family, because they don't understand why you feel so alone when they are there in your life. How can you explain to someone why you are lonely, when loneliness has been a part of you all your life.  Loneliness cry out to you, it seek, search, and find, it's just like its kinship misery, and we all know that misery loves company. Even though I have people who loves and care about me, I still fill alone, the loneliness is very depressing, because you always find yourself with unexplained emotions. When you find yourself isolated in your own mind from the world, then you have crossed over into a deep depression that will cause you to spiral out of control.

You have deep rooted feelings of disappointments that you will never be able to feel normal. Lonelines sucks the life out of you leaving you with the how and why's of it all. It is not prejudice it comes in all forms, from barely lonely, to extemely lonely, and it is lying in wait for it's next victim. People experience loneliness in different ways, for some its just there for no rhyme or reason it just exist, for other's they are pushed into a world of loneliness and isolation steming from different circumstances. Some people cause themselves to have a life of isolation, because they live in ways that causes them to burn bridges, and they find themselves in unfamiliar territory in a world where loneliness rules.

I have come along way in my struggles with loneliness, I deal with it everyday, but I have learned that loneliness is only a feeling of emotions that cripples us from ourselves. To defeat loneliness you have to first become happy within yourself and love you. When the day comes when I can truly say that I love me and know, thats when I have become the object of me and loneliness no longer rules my world. We as humans don't always have the answer or the solution to our problems, but our emotions are our own and no one can feel what's in my heart, nor can I feel whats in other's heart.

The loneliness is a product of our inner open wounds, that have not had the chance to heal yet. Over the years I have learned that living inside myself only created a wall, where I hid behind to protect me from the rest of the world. Living there didn't make me happy, it only fueled the isolation and loneliness that I felt. These days I'm keeping myself busy writing and doing positive things that make me happy. Coming out of my shell wasn't easy, but it was the best step I could have ever made. I still get lonely sometimes but since I have learned that it is worth it loving me, "even like me", my world is filled with more happier days. I hope that one day we all can live in a world of happiness, where the word "loneliness" doesn't exist.