I See You

I See You by Alice Holdstock

Chapter One

There is something magical about weddings. After the ceremony, the breakfast and the speeches, when the music begins, and the shoulders begin to relax. The fascinators are discarded, the ties loosened and the stiletto heels discreetly cast off, the mood eases.

Everyone is at least one glass of champagne to the good and the conversation is flowing between relatives and perfect strangers. There are so many people, in the bar, skirting round the dance floor, in the foyer. Ladies in the loos, layering on fresh lipstick, smoothing their hair and spritzing perfume. The smokers lingering outside, drawing lazily on cigarettes, discussing who's travelled from where and who's due back at work the next morning. Kids running to and fro, playing hide and seek, almost tripping the hotel staff over. The older members of the party, comfortably sat with gin and tonics, saying how lovely the ceremony was and how the priest was too young and good looking to be a priest. The singles nonchalantly eyeing up each other, considering prospect future dates or just some company for the night.

Emotions are always heightened at weddings. Everything is so much more beautiful and moving. Things are even more hilarious and emotional. Happiness just bubbles over infectiously. Though the alcohol could largely be blamed for that. But everyone gets along, in perfect harmony, whether they  are strangers or old friends. For a few hours, they belong to a small community, a microcosm of well-wishers, companion drinkers and dancers, oblivious to the world outside, until the following day when they go their separate ways and some never to set eyes on each other ever again.

A great hush falls when the groom leads the bride to the centre of the dancefloor. The only sound is the swishing skirts of the bride's dress. Everyone is still as the first few notes float through the air. The groom curves his arm around his bride's waist. She rests her hand on his shoulder and smiles up at him, glowing. The moment is enchanting. Everyone looks on, transfixed by the swirling couple, the music sinking into them. He is dashing and handsome in his white shirt sleeves and charcoal waistcoat; she is beautiful and radiant in her flowing gown. All faces surrounding them are lit with soft, serene smiles. Someone wipes away a tear. A sniff. An offered tissue.

Max was impressed with Scott's waltzing skills, the dark horse. He swirled Gaby around, gliding effortlessly across the floor. Despite wearing heels, Gaby was still tiny, Scott towering over her. But he held her with such ease and confidence, gazing adoringly down at her. Gaby laughed up at him, her eyes shining. He drew her closer, the music slowing, resting his jaw against her coiffed curls. She leaned into him and closed her eyes.

The corner of Max's mouth curved up in his lopsided smile, revealing his much teased about dimples. Scott and Gaby were just so happy and so in love right now. Suppressing a sigh, he turned his attention to his other friends gathered close by. Luke had his arms wrapped around his wife, Grace, his cheek against hers. Grace curled her hand up to rest on the back of Luke's neck. He nuzzled her a kiss to her throat. Eddie was still sitting, watching the dance through an alcohol infused haze, his unruly curls looking like a flattened bird's nest. His eyes kept crossing. Max half laughed. Eddie was always the first to get drunk. Lou, grinning like a loon in her canary yellow dress, was perched on the edge of the table, swinging her leg, one fuscia pink shoe dangerously close to flying off. That was a trip to A&E waiting to happen right there. Becki was swaying gently side to side to the music, Rob's hand held loosely in hers. Rob was smiling softly, most likely praying Becki wouldn't drag him in to join the other couples once they took to the floor.

Standing apart from the rest was Jo. Not for the first time that day, Max had to admit to himself she looked good. Her long dark hair curled and cascading down her back, a braid here and there, some clipped up over her ears. Those sparkly silver drop earrings giving her outfit an air of elegance. And the lipstick. Deep red. Matching her dress. Yes, he liked the lipstick. The dress clung to her slim frame perfectly and set her legs off to a dream, especially coupled with those black lace heels. While  Gaby was heavenly in white, Becki was demure in  pink, Grace divine in midnight blue, Lou bright in yellow, Jo was stunning in red.

Paula slipped her hand into Max's, rubbing her thumb across his knuckles. He began to look away when he caught the look on Jo's face. Her smile had faded, the muscles in her jaw clenching. She blinked fast. And again. She bit her down on her lip. He noticed her nostrils flare as she inhaled deeply. His gaze fell to her hands. They were gripped tightly on the back of a chair. If he wasn't mistaken, she was trying not to cry.

Jo's sadness hit Max, like a slap across the face. Jo was an expert at holding it together, having an iron control on her emotions. And this wasn't her getting teary-eyed over two of her closest friends, sharing their first dance together as a married couple. She was upset, hurting. Why? What was upsetting her so much she couldn't mask it like she always did? And what was more upsetting, no one else had noticed.

Scott's father led his mother onto the floor, very theatrically. He spun her around before tucking her close to him. Gaby's parents' entrance was more discreet. Other couples joined it.

"Come on, Max."

His girlfriend, Paula gripped his wrist, pulling him towards the other dancers.

"Let's show them how it's really done."

She laid his hand on her hip and snaked hers around his neck, her bangles clanging together. She flicked out her copper blonde hair back over her shoulder, preening up at him. Rob and Becki trotted past them. Rob threw Max a look of quiet desperation. Max grinned, knowing Rob would rather face a rabid grizzly bear than dance. Grace and Luke had joined the fray too, the dance floor busy with couples.

Max glanced back to the table. There was Lou dancing on the spot with herself, her green hooped earrings swinging precariously. Eddie was still sitting, leaning on his knees, wobbling slightly. One elbow  slid off his leg and he almost fell off his chair. Max suppressed a laugh. Jo had gone. Her handbag was left on the table. Max craned his neck, looking around the whole room. He couldn't see her anywhere and in that red dress she would stand out.

"You're supposed to look at me," said Paula, breaking through his thoughts.

"Sorry," he smiled.

Paula's face was a blur in front of him, his thoughts preoccupied with Jo. He was itching to know what was wrong.

When the music finally faded and Scott swept Gaby into his arms to kiss her, Max disentangled himself from Paula and politely joined in the applause and whoops. He scanned the room again. No, she definitely hadn't returned. No one else had noticed yet either. Becki, Grace and Lou were still dancing, now to Kool and the Gang's Celebration. Rob had slumped down gratefully next to Eddie while Luke went to get refills. Max waited patiently until Paula was engrossed discussing salsa dancing with another guest, then snuck away to the bar. Only men there. If she had popped to the Ladies she would have returned by now, he reasoned. Or she may have gone up to her room. But she'd left her handbag behind. He casually walked past the dining room, thinking. Glancing through the windows, something outside on the terrace caught his eye.

It was still warm outside, the sun slowly setting, the sky a pink and orange glow. She was sat on the low wall that rimmed the terrace where they had posed for photos earlier. A light breeze caught strands over her hair, exposing her nape. He shut the door softly behind him and walked to her.

The door opened and closed, Jo heard his approaching footsteps. She knew it was Max without turning. His aftershave was a scent synonymous with him and only him. Her stomach tightened. She didn't want company, and least of all Max.

Six foot tall and ruggedly handsome, Max was an irresistible sight dressed in a dark grey suit. Jo had noticed many women eyeing him up throughout the day. As usual he seemed completely unaware. Paula had been constantly pawing at him as if to show everyone her claim on him. It had made Jo want to gag. She really didn't want to talk to him. She would have prefered if it was Scott or Eddie, maybe even Luke or Rob. She squinted her eyes shut and swallowed.

Jo didn't turn. Perhaps, he should leave her be. She clearly wanted to be alone, out here, away from the crowd. No, she was upset. He couldn't just turn his back now.

"Jo," he said, softly, trying to keep his tone neutral.

"What?" she replied, eventually.

Her voice was unsteady and unfamiliar. Was she crying? He wasn't sure how to continue. He'd never seen her cry before.

"Are you coming back inside?" he asked.

"In my own time," she said, coldly, combing her hair over one shoulder.

"Well, I'm sure Gaby and Scott didn't intend for you to spend the evening like this."

Jo said nothing. Max saw her shoulders rise and fall. He wasn't exactly helping, was he? He struggled to see why she was upset, today of all days. She was always cheerful, beaming with happiness for other people. Everyone was having a good time. She had been fine earlier, during the ceremony and the breakfast, the toasts and speeches. He walked closer. Max flexed his fingers, uncertain. Jo's shoulders sagged and he didn't hold back any longer. Reaching out, he gently placed his hand on her exposed nape, his fingers clasping softly around her neck.

Freezing, Jo's thoughts scrambled. The warmth of Max's hand melted into her sink and she relaxed. The contact was more welcome and comforting than she would have thought. She focused on it. Then his thumb brushed gently across the top of her spine.

Max's curiosity was killing him. But no he wasn't going to ask. If she wanted him to know, she'd tell him. He felt her convulse slightly. He tipped his head forward to look at her face. Her eyes were closed tight, but the tears were streaming down her face, her lips trembling.

"Jo," he breathed, his hand leaving her neck.

She sobbed, her face creasing. Max swung athletically over the low wall, dropping in front of her. He slid his hands under her elbows and drew her to her feet. He folded her close to his chest, letting her bury her face in the hollow of his shoulder. He clasped one arm around her shoulders, the other stroked against her hair, attempting to soothe her.

She smelt good, fresh. Her perfume was different to Paula's, not sweet or flowery but earthy and warm. She was slimmer than he assumed too. They had never been this close before, and now his arm encircled her waist he realised how small she actually was. But she wasn't bony like Paula. She was soft, her hair silky. He cursed himself. He shouldn't be thinking like this right now. Or ever.

Leaning into his warmth, Jo surrendered to the comfort of Max's body. It felt so good to be held, really held. Not some brief hug, but an embrace that made her feel safe. It made her heart ache. Max, of all people, being so caring. A fresh wave of tears bubbled up. She needed to get a grip, she told herself. Her tears began to subside, but she didn't want to let go. She needed this. Physical contact. Max's tenderness. His hands were so gentle. His scent was so delicious, she wanted to drown in it.

Max felt Jo's breathing slow. She was calm again, no more crying. That was a relief. But she didn't pull away. It startled him to think he never held Paula like this. She never looked to him for emotional support. No, she threw theatrical tantrums. In fact, no one really relied on him like that. With the guys, they'd slap each other on the back and get drunk together. Egotistic as it might be, it felt good to be a source of comfort. He liked it. Most likely some primal protective instinct in him waking up. Whatever it was, he couldn't deny the feel of Jo's body was oddly welcome.   

Breaking their embrace suddenly, Jo eased away from him and took a deep breath. Max studied her face. She felt her cheeks, embarrassed.

"Oh dear," she grimaced, deflecting his scrutiny. "Look at the mess I've made of your shirt."

She pointed to the wrinkled material, spotted with wet patches and smeared make-up.

"Though some might say it's an improvement," she added.

There she was. The snarky Jo was back. He was glad.

"Well, you should see your face," he threw back. " It's like Dali and Picasso had a love child."

There was a flicker of a smile on her face.

"Jo, what . . ."

She cut him off.

"Please, Max, don't ask me."

He could see the tears were threatening to return. He was so desperate to wipe away that sadness and raw vulnerability.

"But can I help?"

Jo shook her head, resigned, sadness written in her expression.

"But thank you."

"Are you going to be all right?"

He ran his hand down her arm, his eyes full of concern. She nodded, her skin tingling. Max's hand dropped.

"You know if you need anything, anything, you just have to ask, right? I know we're never on the greatest of terms but, I'm here if you need me."

His handsome face was so earnest, his offer so kind, Jo couldn't stop the tears filling her eyes again. Jo pressed a fist to her mouth and bit down on her knuckles, forcing back the rising sobs. She nodded in a mute reply, unable to speak.

"Oh Jo," said Max, stroking her cheek.

Her head angled to his touch and as if gaining strength from it, Jo took a deep breath, and then another.

"It's going to be all right," she told herself.

"It is," Max agreed.

Another deep breath. It was dark now and should could feel a slight chill in the air

"I'm going to go and sort my face out," Jo said, patting her cheeks. "Besides I don't want to spoil your evening."

Max shook his head.

"You haven't."

Leaving Jo at the Ladies, Max entered the Gents to assess the damage to his shirt. He managed to clean away the smudged make-up best he could, then stood under the hand dryer, earning him a few questioning looks from other male guests. Tucking his shirt back in, he returned to the sinks and looked in the mirror. He stared at his reflection. What was he doing? Or thinking? He was with Paula. He loved Paula. Jo was just a friend. But an upset friend. He would have done the same for Becki or Lou, right? Jo had only leaned on him because he was there. It would all be forgotten by the morning, he told himself. But for the remainder of the evening, he should keep his distance from Jo, which wouldn't be difficult with Paula hanging round his neck all night.

When Jo had returned, Becki had known immediately something was up. She had missed her eventually. The hotel's function room was large, lit by strings of fairy lights hung from the ceiling, decorated with flowers and white and gold ribbons. The tables and chairs had been pushed out of the way to make the dance floor bigger. There were people everywhere and Becki had assumed Jo was around somewhere. She had no idea something might be wrong. Max had watched Jo skip over to them, fresh from the Ladies, her makeup impeccable, her hair smooth. She slung her arm around Becki and leaned into her affectionately, the mask back in place. But Becki knew better. Yet instead of badgering her friend for explanations, she stuck by Jo all night, making sure she was laughing and enjoying herself. There were many wobbly trips out to the bar and then to the Ladies.

Lou helped out too, dragging her onto the dance floor and screaming at her to 'shake her booty'. Jo nearly fell over from laughing too much. Luckily, she had taken off her heels earlier. Then they dragged Eddie to his feet, dancing with him sandwiched between them. Some of the other guests didn't look impressed, but Jo and Lou didn't care, they were having fun. A middle-aged man sidled up to Lou and drunkenly groped her while they stood at the bar. Eddie was ready to go a few rounds with the man before Jo intervened and politely told the creep where to go.

As it grew later and the music slowed, Scott stole Jo for a slow dance to Bon Jovi's 'Bed Of Roses', a favourite of hers, he knew. It was a special moment with her dear friend. She adored Scott. He'd hugged her so tight, and whispered 'We love you, Joey, remember that', into her ear. And then shortly before midnight, Eddie fell asleep, his head in her lap. She wasn't sure how it'd happened, but she didn't mind. Max hadn't said another word to her since they'd come back inside. She did catch his gaze in her direction at times, but only for a few seconds. She didn't take it personally. Her gratitude towards him outweighed any slight she might feel.

Jo was grateful. Her friends, with their affection, love and weirdness, had brought her back. The warmth of their friendship encircling her, telling her no matter what the past had brought or what the future would bring, she would never be alone. There would always be a light at the end of the tunnel, held aloft by her friends, along with chocolate, alcohol and endless goofiness. Thinking this, she laid her forehead on Eddie's temple as he slept and smiled. It really was going to be all right.

It wasn't quite two a.m yet, but Jo could feel the weight of fatigue dragging her down. Most of the guests had already left. She had already said goodnight to Gaby, who was being swept around the dance floor by Lou and Grace. She waved at Becki and Rob, slow dancing. Eddie was snoozing in the lounge. Scott was propping up the bar with Max and Luke. She walked over.

"Jo," Scott beamed, his cheeks rosy.

"I've come to say goodnight," she smiled back. "I'm all tuckered out and ready for my jim-jams."

"I know not to come between you and your sleep, so I won't try and persuade you to stay."

"You know me too well," she laughed. "Thanks, and thank you for a wonderful day. It's been truly beautiful and wonderful. You deserve all the happiness in the world."

"Thank you. And thank you for being such an amazing friend."

Alcohol and weddings were definitely two catalysts for getting mushy and sentimental, Luke thought to himself, draining another glass.

"It's my pleasure. So I'll see you at breakfast before you jet off to Rome."

"You better be there, or we will miss you."

She wriggled her little finger.

"Pinky swear."

Scott laughed.

"Come here."

He enveloped her in a huge hug and squeezed her tight, gently rubbing her back. She really did love Scott. Especially for moments like this.

"You look beautiful today, Jo," he said, as they broke apart. He pinched her cheek fondly. "Don't ever change."

"Never."

She slapped Luke's back.

"Night, Luke."

He garbled an incoherent reply, then said.

"Think I'm going to puke."

Jo shook her head and turned to Max and nodded.

"Max."

"Goodnight, Jo."

Jo mouthed 'Thank you' to him while Scott was distracted momentarily by Luke stumbling off to the Gents. Max shook his head and waved his hand, dismissing her thanks. She smiled and left, her heels swinging in her hand.

* * * * * * * *

Spinning barefoot around in the centre of the bedroom, her dress swirling like a whirlpool, Gaby drank in the moment. The low light from the bedside lamps cast a soft glow on her tanned skin. A few tendrils of her hair had escaped and danced lightly on her shoulders. It had been the most perfect day. She was so happy. She could not have wished for a more beautiful, wonderful wedding. Both their families had behaved themselves. Her friends had filled the day with so much fun and laughter, she wasn't going to forget today in a hurry. She hadn't even minded Scott slow dancing with Jo. That was the beauty of Scott, so kind, giving and loving.

There was a click as the door was swiped open. Scott walked in, still looking smooth and handsome, though his waistcoat and tie were gone, his shirt unbuttoned. He stood by the door a moment, watching her. She smiled back at him shyly, her thick eyelashes brushing her cheekbones. Scott closed the distance between them, his hands firm on her waist and kissed her forehead. Gaby arms stole around his neck.

"I love you, Mrs King," he whispered.

"I love you more, Mr King," she replied.

Looking deeply into her eyes, Scott dropped his forehead to Gaby's and swayed them side to side. Her eyes fluttered shut as she leaned into Scott, melting in his scent and warmth. This was where she belonged, where she would always belong.

On the opposite wing of the hotel, in a less sizzling, romantic setting, Eddie was snoring, still fully dressed on his bed. Luke and Max had carried him up and dumped him. Lou had tugged the duvet from under him and draped it over him, smoothing his hair out of his face. Next door, Jo was fast asleep, the long day and crying had worn her out. Lou was in the ensuite, removing her make-up, singing to herself, tripping as she flicked off the light.

"Whoops," she giggled and stumbled drunkenly to her bed.

Further along, Rob had fallen asleep in seconds, beside him Becki was sat up, phone in hand, updating her social media, sharing multiple selfies from throughout the day. Across the hall, Grace was teasing Luke, who was chasing her around the bed, dodging thrown pillows.

Max heard their laughter from the adjoining room. He was sat on the end of his bed. Paula was in the bathroom, executing her nightly routine of slathering herself with so much moisturiser Max often wondered how she never slid out of bed, especially with those silk nighties she wore. He had kicked off his shoes and removed his shirt. His face was sombre, deep in thought. It had been a good day, no doubt but  . . . He rubbed his face, weariness taking hold. He needed to sleep.

Chapter Two

Friends didn't come more devoted or loyal than the likes of those Scott and Gaby counted as their closest. They had accumulated a good set who were more like family now. Scott King was an architect, who had met Max Vaughan at a sports club in London while he was at university. They shared a mutual, brainless love of extreme sports and adventure.

Luke Murphy, a doctor, had been an old school friend who Scott had met again after graduating. They'd been thick as thieves ever since. Scott met Gaby Taylor at a wedding. Fresh from a break-up, Gaby was all prickles. That didn't put Scott off, especially when he learnt she was a nurse. His goofy sense of humour eventually melted her icy shell. It wasn't long before she was smitten with him. Luke's wife, Grace Thomas, a teacher, had lived next door to him when they were kids. Luke hadn't looked at her twice until he was home for the summer one year. He was taking out the rubbish and she strolled up to her front door. She smiled shyly over at him and that was it, he was a goner. But where as Gaby took to Scott's female friends and glad of their friendship, Grace was more distant. They would only see her if Luke was with her. Becki, Jo Gaby and Lou didn't mind.

Lou Fox and Jo Goodwin were friends from Sixth Form, neither going to university they stuck together. They shared a house which belonged to Lou's dad who lived in New Zealand. Lou now worked in a charity shop and Jo was a librarian. Jo and Becki Andrews had met when they worked together at a fashion store. The three of them had become inseparable. Becki was now a manager of a small fashion boutique. She had been with her boyfriend, Rob Evans on and off for a few years. He was a mechanic and one of the quieter members of the group.

Eddie Spencer had been a stray waif Lou had brought to a party one evening. She had found him looking a little forlorn sat at a bus stop as she was walking to the party. So in true Lou style she invited a complete stranger along. But despite being a quiet guy, everyone warmed to him and before he knew it, he was a treasured member of their little family.

Jo loved all her friends. They were all unique and special, though she was fonder of some. Becki, Gaby and Lou were the sisters she should have had. Eddie was a puppy, always wanting to play and eager for affection. Luke and Rob were good pals. And Scott. Jo had met him before he and Gaby had met. As two singles they had had a lot of fun hanging out together. They understood one another, both willing to listen for hours. Jo loved Scott to bits, but it had soon become apparent to both of them that they wouldn't be compatible as a couple. Jo was just happy to be his friend. Scott felt protective of Jo, knowing how under that tough exterior she was sensitive and vulnerable. He constantly looked out for her, made sure she didn't ever feel lonely. There were times Gaby questioned his friendship with Jo. Scott was open and honest. He loved Jo, as a friend.

Jo met Max two years ago and though he was always polite and friendly, she could never warm to him. Well, rather she wouldn't let herself warm to him. Then she had met Paula, and well that kind of summed things up. A guy who would date a woman like Paula, was pretty shallow in her opinion. So she took little interest in deepening her friendship with him, and he had never really given her any reason to think otherwise.

Sometimes work and other commitments prevented them from spending quality time together as a group but they were always in contact. An online group chat assured most were kept in the loop. More effort was made on birthdays and bank holidays when they would rather avoid awkward or dull family visits.

Summer was waning. The hot afternoons and sultry evenings were becoming fewer and fewer. Jo was tired of the forever changing weather, never knowing whether to dress for heat and sunshine, or downpours and wind. The sunshine was good if you could enjoy it and weren't cooped up indoors all day. Jo did love walking home in the evenings, the sun low in the sky, the air not so sticky, the day winding down. Outside pubs on the picnic benches, people would be drinking beer and gossiping. Kids playing on climbing frames and swings in the parks. It felt good.

The August bank holiday weekend, Becki and Rob invited everyone to theirs for a barbecue. Unlike nearly every other bank holiday weekend, it didn't rain although it wasn't as warm as they'd hoped. Eddie turned up in shorts, fresh from work, his stomach growling. He headed straight to the food laid out on the small patio. Rob handed him a beer from the ice box he'd brought outside.

Jo and Lou had arrived early to help out. Lou decked out in another outrageous, swirl of colour; Jo modest in jeans and a shirt. They had attempted to cut the grass while Rob had driven to the supermarket for the meat, only to discover they had no idea how to operate a petrol lawn mower. They even consulted Google but with no luck. They hid the mower back in the shed, and pretended they hadn't even tried. Becki was none the wiser, too busy rifling through the kitchen drawers looking for tongs. Rob had returned and mowed the lawn himself, while Lou and Jo watched, giggling.

Becki's parents arrived, laden with more food and alcohol. Luke and Grace followed shortly after, all smiles. Scott roared up on his motorbike, Gaby on the back, grumbling at why they couldn't have taken the car. Finally, Max rang the doorbell. He'd come alone. Paula was busy.  

The meat was sizzling and spitting on the barbecue, the smell of it cooking billowing up and making Jo's mouth water. Everyone was crowded on the patio, loading up their plates and pouring drinks. Becki had her hip-hop and dance tunes playing. And miraculously the sun had decided to hang around.

"This feels like one last hurrah before the end of the school holidays," pouted Lou. "Tuesday, it will be back to work and summer will be officially over."

"It won't be that bad," said Becki. "We always have some hot days in September."

"Yeah, it'll be all right for you, jetting off to Spain for two weeks," grumbled Jo.

"You're going to Spain?" asked Max, plonking another drumstick onto his plate.

"Uh-hu, we only booked it a few days ago."

"Can I come?" Eddie asked, optimistically.

Rob looked at him. A definite no.

"I feel so out of the loop," said Max. "What's everyone else been doing or going to be doing?"

"I want to get a puppy," offered Scott, looking like a ten year old boy, his skin gorgeously tanned from the honeymoon in Rome..

"We are not getting a puppy," glared Gaby.

"Why not?"

Lou's shoulders drooped in disappointment. Gaby smirked.

"Because Scott isn't house trained yet."

Scott stuck his tongue out at his wife. Jo shook her head and laughed.

"Grace and I have some news," said Luke.

Everyone turned. Grace slid her arm around Luke's waist.

"Grace's pregnant."

"Oh congratulations."

"That's wonderful."

"I thought there was something different about you."

"You're positively glowing already."

"So happy for you."

"Best news ever."

Luke and Grace were swamped in hugs, kisses and slaps on the back. Once they were free, Lou bounced forward.

"When it little Miss or Mr Jones due?"

"March."

"Spring baby, perfect," she beamed.

Suddenly, the afternoon was even more special. Conversation centred around babies for a while, the doom and gloom from the men, the gushing and excitement from the women. Scott and Luke conjured a football from somewhere and began kicking it around. Eddie was in half minds to join them but felt too stuffed to move. Rob was grilling the last of the meat, squirting ketchup into his burger with his free hand. Lou was doing the rounds, poking everyone to pose in selfies with her. Jo was more than happy to oblige, pulling such a variety of faces, she and Lou were in stitches. Sitting on the opposite side of the garden, Gaby and Grace rolled their eyes at them.

Calming down after laughing too much and too hard, Jo zoned out for a moment, melting the ice-cream in her mouth, which was delicious combined with the sweet toffee sauce. The food and alcohol was making her feel sleepy. She could doze off quite happily in her chair. Max and Becki's dad were nearby chatting. She wasn't listening, but her ears pricked when she heard 'wedding'.

"If Paula gets her way it will be big and loud. You know social event of the decade," she heard Max chuckle.

Her stomach plummeted. Swallowing, she rose and walked to the patio.

"Is Max engaged?" she asked Becki, as she spooned more jelly and ice-cream into her bowl.

"Yeah, didn't you know?"

Jo shook her head.

"He proposed to Paula last month. I thought everyone knew."

"Obviously not."

Becki frowned.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Jo shrugged.

"I'm not Paula's biggest fan either," Becki admitted. "But if she makes Max happy then, who are we to say no."

"Hmmm."

Returning to her chair, Jo spooned the jelly into her mouth mechanically. She couldn't shift the sinking feeling in her stomach. Five minutes ago, she had been so happy. All her friends were having a good time, many had bright futures ahead and she was pleased. Now, she was miserable. Max and Paula together wasn't right, she felt it in her gut. And she knew that when they were married, they'd probably see less of Max than ever. But that wasn't what was nagging at her.

Commandeering a blanket, Eddie had spread it out on the lawn and threw himself down on it. His wild curls tickled his forehead as he relaxed. Moments later, Lou flopped down beside him.

"I've met a guy," she said, randomly.

Eddie squinted up at her.

"His name's Danny," she continued. "I like him."

Eddie eyed her cautiously, reading her face.

Lou's track record with men wasn't exactly great. Eddie never understood why. Lou was fun, caring and adorable and had such a big heart, how that wasn't enough for some men baffled him. Lou would give every relationship her all and was always the worse off after the break ups. It angered and upset her friends to see her so hurt. She had been single for a year now. It had done her a world of good. Her confidence had resurfaced, like a phoenix rising from the flames of her last relationship. She was back to her crazy, wild, amazing self and was happy. Now there was a man in the picture again, Eddie was wary. He didn't want Lou getting hurt again.

"Don't worry," she assured him, as if reading his thoughts. "I'm going to take it slow. I don't want to rush into anything."

Eddie didn't speak, but propped himself up on his elbow and watched her. She glanced at Jo and Becki chatting.

"No one else knows yet. I don't want to tell them until I know him a bit better. I know they'll be out for his blood once I do, whether he's a keeper or not."

Becki and Jo were fiercely protective of her when it came to men, as were Scott and Luke.

"I know what I'm doing."

She turned and looked down at Eddie, meeting his eyes.

"And I don't want to be alone forever."

Eddie blinked, understanding. Lou smiled. She liked that about Eddie. He didn't say much but he understood, he always understood. She leaned over and affectionately ruffled his hair.

"I suppose you're too lazy to think about getting a girlfriend."

Eddie nodded.

"I already have you, Jo, Gaby and Becki pestering me from one day to the next. A girlfriend would be the end of any chance of peace in my life."

Lou laughed, her mouth opening wide.

"You cynic. Just wait, you'll end up being totally goofy over a girl one day and I'll be there in the background with a huge 'I told you' sign."

She jabbed him in the ribs.

"Never," he cried, dramatically.

He rolled up onto his knees and grabbed Lou's hand, before releasing a tickle attack on her. She squealed and kicked her legs. Scott bounded over and crashed into them. Suddenly, the blanket was a melee of heads and flailing limbs as Becki cried out 'Bundles'. Only Grace, Rob and Becki's Mum were left standing, looking as fully grown adults rolled around on the ground.

Becki felt the air being crushed out of her lungs, half from laughing too much, half from Scott's weight on her. She gave him a solid shove and he was gone. Rob held out his hand and pulled her to her feet. Eddie and Lou were still play fighting. Max was easing himself out from under the bulk of Becki's dad, who was entangled with Gaby. Jo was lying on top of Luke, he had his arms around her, holding her off the grass.

"Damn, we've been rustled, Luke," Jo joked, as Scott and Becki's departure revealed them.

"And things were just getting interesting," added Luke, sitting up.

He winked at Grace, who raised an unimpressed eyebrow in reply. Rob tugged a blade of glass from Becki's hair before tugging her to him and kissing her temple.

Gaby brushed herself off, a wide grin plastered on her face.

"Well, that was fun."

It was nine o'clock when it grew dark. Becki's parents left, having to drive an hour home. A tired Grace and reluctant Luke left not much later. Becki switched on the patio lamp and began to clear up. Lou helped. The men sat and talked and drank. Eddie dozed off. Jo volunteered to wash up. She didn't mind. Her mum had her doing the dishes from the age of eight, so she was used to it. The sink was almost overflowing with bubbles, Jo was always generous with the washing up liquid. She was so absorbed scrubbing the glasses sparkling clean, she didn't notice Max walk in.

"Room for one more?"

Jo started, as if she had just been woken up. She turned and looked at him blankly.

"Sure," she replied, dully.

Max's eyes narrowed.

"You OK?"

"I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?"

"You don't seem to be, that's all."

Jo shrugged it off.

"Just tired I guess."

"Well, after all that food, alcohol and lawn wrestling, I wouldn't be surprised."

He smiled and she felt her frustration rise again. If she didn't say it now, it may end up being too late and she would regret missing her chance. She took a deep breath and set another glass on the drainer.

"I hear you got engaged."

Max's eyebrows furrowed.

"Er yeah. Last month."

Jo nodded.

"Well, I can't say congratulations because I think you're making a mistake," she blurted out.

Max's face hardened. Jo hardly knew Paula. Who did she think she was, making such a judgement? He folded his arms and leant back against the counter.

"Oh really?" he challenged. "Please do enlighten me with your infinite wisdom."

"You don't love Paula." Jo stated, simply. "You never have. And she doesn't love you. She just fits in with your lifestyle."

Max let her speak, wanting to hear all she had to say. She picked up another glass and rinsed it under the tap.

"There is no bond between you. I see Becki and Rob together, Scott and Gaby, Luke and Grace, and you can see they're real couples who care about each other. It's there in their body language, their voices, their actions. With you and Paula, there's nothing. She should be like a best mate, but I know when you need to talk about something, you call one of the guys or Gabby or Lou, never Paula. And that says a lot. She treats you likewise. She never hangs out with us, well hardly ever. Never makes an effort to get to know your friends. She seems quite happy keeping your lives pretty separate."

Jo was stunned, not knowing where this was coming from and how she had the balls to actually say it to him.

"You'll get married, have a glorious wedding, Paula will look beautiful and you immensely fuckable. And the honeymoon will be amazing in the Seychelles or wherever. But then it'll be back to reality. Give it a year and you will have got bored. You may make a good couple looks wise but she will never understand you."

Max was still silent, so Jo continued, gaining pace now.

"Thing is you liked having Paula as a girlfriend because she would always keep her distance. Because you know you can't have strong feelings for her, because you don't respect or admire her enough. Truth is, I think, you are afraid to really love someone and you're afraid of someone loving you. With Paula there is no danger of that. But you're a fool for thinking that."

She was quiet. She wiped the counter and turned the tap off.

"Why do you care so much?" Max asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

Buoyed by some weird sense of courage and power, she turned to face him.

"Because it would be such a waste. You're capable of so much more, Max, if you would only realise it. It makes me so angry that you're so blind to it. And you deserve so much better. A woman who wants to share everything with you, every moment. Be responsible for your laughs and smiles. Who would want nothing more than to be with you. And she, she would be the making of you. She would have the courage and perseverance to unlock all the hidden qualities you hold back. Marry Paula and Max Vaughan will never reach his full potential as a man.

She saw the muscles in his jaw tighten.

"I'm not saying this to piss you off. I'm saying it as a friend," she added. "I know we're not close, but I want what 's best for all my friends. Somewhere inside you, is a man with so much to give. With Paula, you won't be able to because if she doesn't see it in you, you won't either."

"So you think I should call it off and be single and perhaps bitter like you?"

Jo knew he meant his words to sting but they didn't hit their target.

"I may be single, but that is better than lying and pretending to myself, shying away from the truth. And you're wrong, I'm not bitter. I love my life, I'm happy even if I am alone. I know who I am."

"And why should I listen to you or what you have to say?"

"Because for some stupid, absurd reason, I care. I care about what you do with your life. I don't want to see you throw it away on some girl like Paula. You deserve better, Max. But if you do go through with it, marry Paula then I really wish you well and hope you will be happy. I really do."

"Why?" he said, so low she barely heard him.

"Because you were there, when I felt so alone, so lost, you were there."

The door slammed open and Gaby walked in.

"Here, this is the last of the plates."

She placed them on the counter.

"Do you want a hand drying?"

Not waiting for an answer, Gaby picked up the tea towel and reached for a glass.

"Thanks," smiled Jo.

Max was gone.

Chapter Three

It was the early hours of the morning by the time Max arrived home. He paid the cabbie and hopped up the steps to the door. Retrieving a beer from the fridge, he unlocked the back door and walked into the garden. He wasn't ready to go sleep, not yet. His head was too full.

Sitting down, he looked up at the night sky. He couldn't stop thinking about what Jo had said. Was he making a mistake marrying Paula? Did he love her? True, they didn't have a relationship like Scott or Gaby. But everyone was different. He couldn't remember the last time they had a conversation about nothing, or stayed up all night talking. They didn't live together. He always stayed at her apartment when neither of them was busy. They had holidays together, which were spent lounging beside the pool, if he hadn't wandered off to go exploring the local towns. She had met his family twice, while she insisted he accompany her when she visited her own once a fortnight. She always had an excuse when he hung out with his friends and invited her along. When they were apart he never really missed her, never had a burning need to talk to her or see her. As for their sex life, well he had to admit it had become more perfunctory than passionate. Yet, he had had no complaints, never gone looking elsewhere. When he had thought about the future she was there.

Placing his beer on the ground, he thought for a moment, if Paula disappeared out of his life tomorrow how would he feel? His reaction shocked him. Relief, he would feel relief. Had he spent their entire relationship living up to her expectations? The more he thought about it, the more he saw how superficial a couple they were. He ran his hand through his hair. No, he didn't love her.

"S**t."

Scott was not impressed to be woken at nine am by his phone ringing. He had intended to sleep through to midday. That's what Bank Holiday weekends were for, long lie-ins. Gaby groaned next to him. His lids still stuck together, his hand fumbled around on the bedside table. Finding his phone, he blinked and looked at the caller ID.

"Max, this had better be good or an emergency, or I'm going to punch you for waking me."

Two hours later, Scott and Luke sat in Max's kitchen. Scott had stopped off on the way over and brought fresh bacon rolls and iced pastries.

"So what's the deal?" asked Scott, biting into a roll, his teeth tearing at the bacon.

He had no idea what was going on. They rarely did group therapy chats like this, they left that to the girls. But Max had sounded dead serious and worried on the phone. Luke poured himself another cup of coffee and looked expectantly at his friend.

"Do you think I'm making a mistake marrying Paula?" Max said, getting straight to the point.

He wanted to know what his friends really thought. If Jo saw things, then surely his two closest friends would too.

Scott's chewing slowed. He glanced at Luke.

"Do you think you're making a mistake?" Luke asked, setting his mug down.

"I think, I don't really know how I really feel about her," replied Max, disjointedly. "We've been together for over two years, we've never had any problems . . ."

"But?" prompted Scott.

"Just give me your honest opinions," said Max. "I want to hear what you have to say first."

Luke and Scott exchanged looks again.

"Well, honest truth, I don't know if it'd be a mistake for you to marry her, but I don't like her," Scott admitted. "I never have. And I don't think that's ever going to change. We put up with her because of you. You seemed happy with her so we weren't going to say anything. Same thing when you got engaged."

Max’s shoulders slumped and he tipped his head back.

"Max, I know how I feel about Grace. It's not always the whole Gone With The Wind epic romance, but it's something deep. Grace is my best friend, she knows almost everything about me. She cares enough to want to know about me. When I asked her to marry me, it was because I loved being with her so much and I wanted to make her happy. I didn't want to lose her. Sure, marriage isn't a happy ever after, it takes work, but I go through every day knowing that Grace is there for me one hundred percent. We're a team."

Scott nodded in agreement.

"But you and Paula, you're like a show couple. Mate, she bought you tickets for the Ashes for your last birthday. Anyone who knows you, knows you hate cricket. She made an assumption, based on other men she knows."

"What Luke is saying, Max, is that you and Paula aren't exactly sympatico. And she doesn't even make the effort to be. If you marry her, you'll be swallowed up in her world and you'll forget who you are. She's one of those women who'll have your whole life mapped out for you before your honeymoon is over."

"Is she really that controlling?"

"Max, she won't let you wear certain clothes when you're with her. She gave you a diet plan. She even made you buy a house here, miles away from your family and your friends. Just because it's a posh neighbourhood."

"And you just go along with it," added Luke. "As if it's normal."

"I did it just to make her happy."

"And let her turn you into a Stepford husband."

Max rubbed his face with his hands.

"God, have I really been such an idiot?"

"Yup."

"Why have you never said anything before?"

"Because we thought she made you happy, you seemed happy enough," shrugged Scott.

"What about when I told you I got engaged? If you thought I was screwing up, surely that would have been the time to knock some sense into me."

"We thought you'd tell us to f**k off and mind our own business," explained Luke. "We gave you the benefit of the doubt too. Thinking you knew what you were doing."

"We weren't going to interfere and risk causing a massive feud," said Scott, reaching for a pastry.

"Feud?" repeated Max, rolling his eyes.

"Bros before hoes and all that s**t," continued Scott.

"So you were willing to let me marry a woman I don't love for the sake of our friendship. That's sweet, almost brings a tear to my eye."

"Hey, you just said you don't love her, so you already know you're making a mistake."

"I do now. Now someone else made me realise. Not either of you, thanks very much."

"Hey," objected Scott. "We had your best interests at heart."

"Bullshit," taunted Max.

"Who was it that made you realise anyway?" asked Luke.

Max shook his head.

"It doesn't matter."

"Just be grateful he's seen the light," said Scott, laying a hand on Max's shoulder.

Max pushed it off.

"So have you told Paula yet?"

"No. I'm dreading it."

"There will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth, I imagine."

"And broken skulls, if I'm not careful."

Two days later, Max spoke to Paula. He explained he felt he had made a rash decision, that he wasn't ready for such a big commitment yet and to be honest he didn't really see a future for them together. Scott had been right. First she cried, then she got angry. Really angry. She turned the air blue, screwing up her face, spitting such vulgar insults at him. It wasn't pretty. But Max took it all, didn't attempt to defend himself. He felt he deserved it. He'd led her along a merry dance the past few years without knowing it. He was an idiot.

Three weeks later, Max couldn't settle at work. He would stare blankly at his computer screen, clicking his pen, drinking coffee. Whenever he tried to focus, his concentration lasted a few minutes. It wasn't his break-up with Paula that was bothering him. He'd felt better once his remorse at hurting her had passed. Now he was free, his life spanning out ahead him, his future once again uncertain for the first time in years. In truth, he had no idea what he really wanted any more.

With Paula, he had been on auto-pilot doing whatever she wanted, going wherever she said. She led, he followed. He never considered what he wanted. He went to work, went to the gym, spent time with Paula and visited his family and friends. When was the last time he did something purely for himself? Something he loved and enjoyed. He couldn't remember. It had been so long since he'd gone to the pub with the lads to watch a match. There was a time when weekends meant crazy outings, pub crawls or cliff diving. What had happened to him? When did he lose his sense of adventure and become so boring? Would his younger self even recognise him now?

Work and business had lost its pull. He'd hung out with Scott, Eddie and Luke a few times, but the irritability and restlessness would creep up his spine, like a persistent itch. He felt suffocated in his house and office. He needed to get away, take a break.

Max pushed his chair back, shrugged off his jacket and pulled off his tie. He walked to the Gents.Pausing in front of the mirror, he looked at his reflection. His skin was pale and peaky. At one time he was always tanned from weekend breaks to the Mediterranean, surfing on the coast, cycling, running. His eyes were tired, his hair too long, floppy and lifeless. He was so close-shaven, his jaw jutted out, stark. He looked like a soppy, pining, lovesick schoolboy, minus the acne.

Turning on the tap, he splashed water on his face and patted it dry. He strode back to his office, sat down and rubbed his hands over his face. He needed to do something, and soon.

"He's going where?"

"New York."

"New York? For good?"

"No, though not sure how long."

"When is he going?"

"He left this morning."

"What? But we didn't get to see him off or say goodbye."

Scott shrugged.

"I know, but a man's got to do what he's got to do."

"Don't give me that bullshit. Is this him running away after his break-up with Paula?"

"No. He said he needed some time away."

"Away from his family and friends?"

"Gaby, it's Max's decision. It is his life, he may do what he likes. It's not as if he's doing anything wrong or bad."

"No, but he's leaving us, especially you, when he needs you the most."

"He's a grown man, he knows he can pick up the phone any time and call me."

"I guess," Gaby surrendered. "I hope he doesn't stay away too long. I worry about him and we'll miss him."

Scott curved his hand around her neck and kissed her temple.

"He'll be fine," he murmured, gently.

Becki told Lou and Jo the news of Max's departure when she met them for coffee the following Sunday morning.

"Oh," said Lou, deflated, her shoulders slumping. "Why didn't he tell us he was going?"

Her face had fallen, her voice sad.

"Why didn't he come to say goodbye?"

"It was a spur of the moment," explained Becki. "I don't think he meant to upset anyone."

"I know," sighed Lou. "But I don't like it when people leave and go away."

Jo said nothing. She blew gently on her tea and listened to Becki and Lou. When she found out Max had split up with Paula, she couldn't believe it. She hadn't expected him to take any notice of her or do anything. She was glad. He did deserve better. On hearing he had left for America for no one knew how long, she felt conflicted. She could understand he wanted a break, a change of scenery. She thought, good for him. But she was sad. Their friends would miss him, so soon after his freedom from Paula.

She almost felt a silent triumph. He'd heard her and listened. Once again she had the sinking feeling in her stomach, the same when she had heard he was engaged. She was disappointed Max had gone away. She was surprised to think she was going to miss him. She never saw him that much as it was, but she had glimpsed a side of him that she liked and wanted to see more of it. Now he was gone. But he'd be back. he wouldn't leave his family and work too long. She shrugged inwardly. There wasn't anything she could do. He was gone and she really needed to focus on her life.

Autumn settled in, shaking leaves from the trees to carpet the ground. Frost arrived most mornings, to dust the grass in a crisp white layer. Jo would wake up, feel the chill in the air and burrow deeper under her duvet and blanket. She wasn't enjoying the autumn months that much, spending a lot of her free time alone. Lou was out most of the time with her new boyfriend, Danny. Becki and Rob were in mad rush to get any holes in the house sealed up before the real cold set in. Scott and Gaby were swamped at work and Luke was looking after Grace who was going through a bad period of morning sickness. That only left Eddie, and he wasn't exactly reliable.

One Saturday evening, she sat curled up on the sofa, watching a movie adaptation of one of Nicholas Sparks' soppy novels. Seeing the new relationship develop between the two characters onscreen, Jo felt suddenly lonely, longing for that connection and comfort of another person. She never met anyone. She rarely went to places where there were any eligible men. After the movie had ended, the credits rolling, she stared into space, wondering whether it would be any use signing up to a dating website. She had avoided it before, believing in the old fashioned idea of romance. But what the hell, what did she have to lose? Digging out her laptop, she went online and set up a profile on a popular site.

A week later, the website was taking over her life. Men were messaging her all times of day, young and old. Not wishing to appear rude or impolite by ignoring them, she replied to most of them. But if she was honest, she wasn't really interested in any of them. She was getting tired of the "Hi, you're beautiful, how are you single", "what are you up to?" "what are you looking for on here?" lines. One guy asked did she mind if he was married. Another wanted to know if she'd be willing to be hook up with another couple with him. Others were lecherous and crude. However, she had struck up conversation with one guy who she'd contacted first. His name was James. He was her type, tall, dark, not bad looking with blue eyes. He was athletic and worked in property, and he was interested too. They'd only been chatting a few days when he asked to meet her. She wasn't expecting that. Jo had never really done the dating thing. Her previous boyfriends had been friends first before things got serious. But she told herself this was the whole point of her using a dating website, to meet guys, in person.

They settled on a day, one Tuesday evening after work, at a coffee shop in town. James would be driving from where he worked, about an hour away. Jo was so nervous at work all day. She had only told Lou about the date, just in case James turned out to be a psycho serial killer and she didn't return home, Lou could raise the alarm. She wasn't sure what she expected. She had brought a change of clothes with her and got dressed in the Ladies before she left work. Waiting for James to call to say he'd arrived, she wandered down to the supermarket. She was so nervous she couldn't even browse, just sped along aisle after aisle, her phone gripped tightly in her hand.

Walking home an hour and a half later, Jo wasn't sure what to make of James. She had not felt awkward or uncomfortable. But she had to confess James did most of the talking. He'd barely given her a chance to ask him anything. Yet he was keen to see her again, he had said. And well she was willing to give it a try. What did she have to lose? He had turned out to more attractive than she assumed. He had nice blue eyes. He was confident.

Jo dialled Lou's number. She told her excitedly about the date, feeling an exhilaration which blotted out the negatives she felt about James. She continued chatting to him, through text messages and the occasional phone call. James was definitely interested but that second date eluded them. Jo found herself questioning everything, analysing every sentence. She began to feel stressed at work and her moods volatile.

A month after their first date, James took her to dinner. Conversation was stilted at times. He seemed to be trying to hard to impress and make her laugh, and quite frankly she wasn't amused. He kept telling how good she looked, but the compliment was lost on her. She hadn't dressed up for him. She always wanted to look good, date or no date. As he stood next to her on the pavement outside, waiting for her cab to arrive, they joked, laughed and flirted, and Jo felt that maybe this could work. It was early days. James drew her closer to him, leaning in to kiss the side of her face. She tilted her chin up and left his lips brush against hers. They kissed until her phone buzzed, announcing the imminent arrival of her cab.

Watching the streets lights sweep by in the cab, Jo thought how wonderful it felt to be held again by a man, to be kissed. Sometimes she didn't realise how lonely she truly was. James looked promising.

Jo never saw him again. They had kept in touch and as always James assured her he wanted to give them a real go. At Christmas, he told her he wished he could have woken up with her beside him. Then his messages became less frequent. He wouldn't reply for days. Until Jo had had enough. She deleted his phone number and all their messages. No one treated her like that. Lou was disappointed for her, but understood.

"It's his loss," Lou said. "If he can't see what he's letting slip out of his hands. Well, then you deserve better. Now how about we go buy some doughnuts, bring them back and watch Guardians Of The Galaxy?"

On reflection, Jo knew she had only kept it going with James because she liked the male attention and she wanted to be with someone. She wanted to be flirted with, told she was beautiful, hugged and kissed. But not like this. Not with someone who wasn't willing to appreciate her, who had no qualms about wasting her time. Online dating was now definitely off the list in the future. Men, in general, were off the list. She was fed up feeling like less than enough because of men. It wasn't her fault, it was theirs.

January, a new year, a new start. Jo would focus on herself and doing things that made her happy, regardless of what anyone thought. And men, men could take a swan dive off a cliff for now. Besides she didn't need a man in her life for her to feel happy or complete. And her recent experience had reaffirmed her decision that she wasn't going to settle for anything but the best. If that meant she would be single forever, then so be it.

When Scott saw Jo a month after, he noticed how much more confident she was, more at ease with herself. She had always been laid back, but now she was even more carefree and open. She hadn't changed, he mused to himself, rather she had evolved, come out of her shell even more. He liked it. He was glad. Jo had told him about James. And if this was her response to being dropped by a guy, well she was owning it. She was brighter and warmer, and this James was an idiot and a fool for not seeing what a gem of a girl he had lost.

Chapter Four

Relaxing, finally in his seat in First Class, Max rested his head back. Closing his eyes, he smiled. His six month stay in America had been brilliant. Everything he had needed. He wanted to stay, the buzz of the Big Apple an addiction, but he did miss home. He needed to get back to the office, although he had done a lot of work from the States. He missed England and London. He was dying for a decent cup of tea, and as a die-hard coffee drinker, he thought he'd never admit that in his entire life.

He was looking forward to seeing everyone again. Grace had given birth to a little boy a week ago. Rob and Becki had finished redecorating their house. He couldn't wait to hear and laugh about Eddie's latest romantic ventures and get a suffocating hug from Lou. And his house. He'd missed that too.

Standing in front of the mirror, and leaning slightly on the sink, Jo squinted at her reflection. Her foundation had begun to take on the waxy look it always did when she drank. Fumbling in her handbag, she pulled out her powder and brush and freshened up her make-up. Once the shininess had disappeared she nodded at herself. Definitely an improvement. Becki exited a cubicle behind her, grinning like a loon. She turned on the tap and then burped, loudly.

"Oops, excuuuuse me."

Her shoulders shook. Jo stared at Becki in the mirror and burst out laughing. It was good to be out on a Friday night.

Becki had had a rather stressful week at work and felt like cutting loose. Rob wasn't in the mood for drinking, so Becki had called Lou. Lou was in Kent for the day at some posh do with Danny, but she said Jo probably wouldn't be busy. Jo had said yes straight away. She'd been spending too many evenings at home alone, watching reruns of Friends, munching through bars of Dairy Milk. A night at the pub was definitely overdue. They had drunk two bottles of wine between them already and had no plans of slowing down. The night was still young.

They giggled their way out the Ladies and walked arm in arm back to the bar. Becki stopped dead.

"Max!" she cried out.

Jo blinked twice to focus. Sure enough there was Max, right in front of them. But boy did he look different. Seeing them, his face broke into a broad grin.

"Hello," he said.

"You didn't tell us you were coming home," scolded Becki. "When did you get home?"

"I landed early this morning. And I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone, but I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, you did. Come here."

Max leaned down so short Becki could hug him. She squeezed the air out of him. Tipsy Jo was attempting to think straight. Max looked amazing. Not only did he have a gorgeous tan, he had filled out, with muscular shoulders and the curve of his biceps visible in his light sweater. Jo felt a growl rumbling in her chest. She shook her head, trying to erase the befuddlement. Max released Becki and turned to Jo. He kissed her on the cheek and pulled her into a hug.

Surprised, Jo hugged him back. She liked the feel of his mouth on her skin, she wasn't going to deny that. He felt and smelt amazing too.

"God, I've missed you guys. How have you been?" he asked, still smiling.

Becki shrugged.

"Up and down, you know," she replied. "But tonight," she held up her finger, "Tonight we are having fun."

"Much needed drinks," Jo added, her speech slurring.

Her eyes crossed too. Max's grin widened.

"You should join us," Becki suggested.

"I would love to, but I'm here with my dad and uncle, and Mum is expecting us home soon."

Becki's shoulders slumped.

"Too bad. Another time though?"

"Definitely. I have six months to catch up on."

Jo nodded, her head feeling like it was floating quite close to the ceiling.

"I will see you soon, though," Max continued, before saying goodbye.

"Wow," breathed Becki, as they waited at the bar for their drinks. "How good does he look?"

Jo leant on the bar, smiling sleepily.

"Totally lickable and bitable," she hiccuped, before giggling.

Becki laughed at her.

"I am so glad he's back at last. I've missed him."

"Hmmmm."

"Don't try and deny you haven't."

"Well, I am most definitely missing him now."

She cocked her head.

"Do you think he's that tanned all over?" she asked, biting her lip as she thought about it.

Becki slapped her arm.

"Jo Goodwin, behave."

"That's not going to happen. I am drunk and we're discussing a seriously fuckable guy. 'Behave' doesn't compute."

Max drifted in and out of their drunken conversations for the remainder of the night. Becki said she couldn't believe he'd been gone that long and wondered of he'd met any women while he was away. Everyone would be so happy he was finally back. It had definitely been too long. Jo was preoccupied with remembering how good he looked. She had always thought him a good looking guy, no doubt, but tonight, well maybe it was the alcohol, but he looked so incredibly gorgeous her ovaries were going into meltdown. She hoped he hadn't met anyone, that he was still single. Though that wouldn't really be much help to her. She was not Max's type. Unfortunately. She caught the barman's attention and asked for another large glass of wine.

Waking Saturday morning, Jo's head was throbbing too much to even remember their encounter with Max. She crawled out of bed and downstairs, lying on the counter waiting for the kettle to boil. Three cups of tea, three glasses of water, two paracetamols and a bowl of cereal later, she was feeling slightly more human. Though her tongue still felt like cardboard. She trudged back upstairs for a shower. Feeling fresher in clean clothes, she started on her usual weekend chores; laundry and ironing.

Two hours later, after lunch - a seriously huge ham salad sandwich, dripping with salad cream - she consulted her recipe books. Hell if she was going to spend the rest of the afternoon slouched in front of the TV. Making cakes would be far more productive and fun. She flicked over a page and sighed. She felt a massive crash coming down from the night before. They'd had such a laugh, her and Becki. She glanced up at the grey overcast sky outside.

Suddenly, she'd lost the desire to bake. Her mood completely changing within seconds. She hated it. Now she felt like crying, all the good that would do. She was not going to be melancholy. She was going to see everyone later at Luke and Grace's. She didn't want to down in the dumps for that. Hell, she was going to bake. She pulled her apron from the back of the door and tied it around her waist. Music is what she needed. Something upbeat that she could sing along to. She shuffled through her playlists on her phone until she found the right one. Abba, perfect.

It worked. The music sinking into her brain and switching off the negative vibes. One chocolate cake in the oven, a tray of cupcakes waiting to be iced and cookies cooling on the rack later, the doorbell rang. She wasn't expecting anyone. Lou was staying at Danny's. And she wasn't expecting any parcels. Quickly rinsing her hands in the sink and wiping them on her apron she went to answer the door.

"Max."

She was not expecting to see him standing on the doorstep. He looked gorgeous. A thin cream sweater setting off his tan superbly. She cursed inwardly, knowing she was blushing. She just stared.

"Hi Jo," he smiled, those adorable dimples appearing. "I hope you don't mind me coming round."

"No, not at all," she replied, gathering some of her faculties. "But Lou isn't home."

"I came to see you," he explained, with a small laugh.

"Oh, well you'd better come in, I guess," she said, vacantly.

"Thank you, that would be nice."

Jo wanted to slap herself.

"I'm not disturbing you, am I?" he asked, following her through the hall, into the kitchen.

"Well, I was baking but it's fine."

"Smells amazing."

"Of course it does. It's my cakes."

"Do they taste as good as they smell?"

"Is Henry Cavill a total hunk?" Jo joked.

Oh, she really needed a slap. That was so not funny. But she was so nervous with Max so close, looking incredibly delectable.

"Would you like a drink?" she asked, clearing her throat.

"No, I'm fine, thanks."

"So what brings you here to see me, apart from my baking?"

She sat down at the small dining table. Max leaned against the counter, across from her. The heat rose in her cheeks under his gaze. His brown eyes were beautiful, framed by featherlite eye lashes. His tanned complexion making his eyes brighter. His scent had filled the room. She wanted to close her eyes and drink it in. She pinched her thigh. She shouldn't be ogling Max.

"Well, I wanted to say 'thank you'."

Jo blinked, surprised.

"For what?"

"For saying what you did last year, about Paula, about me."

"For being completely out of line and a massive b***h?"

In hindsight, she hated her arrogance that night, speaking way out of line.

"No, no," Max disagreed. "You were right, about everything. I'd been too blind to see. When I actually thought about it, everything you said rang true."

Jo raised an eyebrow, sceptical.

"Splitting up with Paula and going to America, well it was like getting my life back."

He smiled and Jo felt her stomach clench. He really was gorgeous when he smiled.

"It is a cliche but I have re-discovered who I am and who I want to be. I feel like I have a new lease of life. I'm excited about everything."

This was a Max she'd never witnessed before; so honest and open. She was impressed and glad.

"Wow, what happened in America?"

"I gained clarity and perspective."

He folded his arms. Jo's eyes focusing on the curved muscles of his arms. Bitable, sprang into her head.

"As well as having an amazing time," Max added.

"Good," said Jo, simply, hoping Max didn't see how distracted she was by his body. She would laugh at herself over this later.

"Thing is, if you hadn't said what you did, when you did," Max explained, "Well I'd probably be weeks away from marrying Paula right now. And I'd never know that I was living a lie. So I owe you a lot, Jo. For being a true friend."

Jo shrugged, not comfortable with his praise. She felt like a fraud.

"You don't have to thank me for anything," she said, playing with a loose thread on her apron. "I really had no right to say what I did, passing judgement as if I was some life or relationship expert."

"Don't be stupid," Max argued. "You risked me hating you to prevent me making a huge mistake. You had a better understanding of me and my life than I did. And despite what you say, I am always going to be grateful to you."

Jo shifted awkwardly in her chair.

"Well, I'm just glad you decided to come home. Everyone has missed you."

"Thanks. I did want to apologise to you too. I wasn't exactly polite to you that night."

Was he for real? If anyone should be apologising, it should be her.

"It's OK, it's not like I didn't ask for it. If it had been the other way around, I'm sure I would have ripped into you."

"Well, I'm still sorry. I really am, Jo."

His words and his intensity of his eyes made her stomach flutter.

"All right, all right," she said, flapping her hands, embarrassed. "Apology accepted. Now can we just forget about it?"

"Hmm," Max deliberated, rubbing his jaw. "My silence may come at a cost."

"Would that cost be cake, by any chance?" Jo asked, tapping her finger on her chin.

"Jo, it's like you can read my mind."

Max's feigned surprise caused the corners of Jo's mouth to twitch up. She couldn't help smiling, a warmth spreading through her chest.  

"I'll put the kettle on," she said, rising. "Cake without tea is uncivilized. And that isn't up for debate."

Max held up his hands.

"I wouldn't dare."

After Max declared her cakes a triumph, Jo washed up quickly. She told him she was expected at Luke and Grace's soon.

"Why don't you come along too?" she suggested. "Meet little Tommy. And I think Scott and Gaby are coming too, and Eddie, hopefully Becki and Rob. All who would love to see you. Unless you've got plans."

"No, I was only going to start sorting stuff out at home," he said. "It would be great to see everyone."

"Brilliant. I'll just box some of these cakes up to take with us, then I'll go and get changed."

Luke was delighted to see Max on his doorstep with Jo.

"Max! When did you get back?" he asked, clapping Max into a hug.

"Yesterday morning," Max replied, over Luke's shoulder.

Jo was drinking in Luke's gorgeous smile and shining blue eyes. He was so pleased his friend.

"Jo, great to see you."

He leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"And you've brought cakes," he added, his eyes falling to the cake box in her hands.

"You're a treasure."

He led them inside, the smell of baby wipes and talcum powder greeting them. They paused at the kitchen door. Grace was at the sink rinsing bottles.

"Grace, look who Jo brought along to surprise us."

She turned.

"Max, you're back," she smiled, hastily drying her hands.

"So good to see you."

"You too," said Max, hugging her. "You look amazing. Congratulations to you both by the way. I do have gifts for you but they're still at home."

"Just having you back with us is gift enough," said Grace.

"So where is the little gent?"

Little Tommy was fast asleep on a blanket on the floor in the living room, snug in navy blue baby-gro. Jo smiled fondly down at his tiny form, a soft peacefulness settling over her. She'd already seen Tom at the hospital the day after he was born, but she couldn't get enough of him. He was gorgeous.

"Wait til he's awake. He's got Luke's eyes. They're stunning," crooned Grace.

Max crouched down and gently laid his hand on Tom's stomach.

"He's so tiny," he whispered. "And perfect."

He glanced up and met Jo's gaze. She nodded in agreement. Luke put his arm around Grace and kissed her forehead.

"It still hasn't sunk in that he's ours," said Luke. "He's our son."

"He's adorable, and I'm in love," sighed Jo.

They sat and spoke softly so they didn't disturb Tom. Max asked how the birth went and how they were coping. Both Grace and Luke looked tired, but that couldn't dim their smiles. Jo let them talk, happy enough to watch Tom sleep, his tiny fingers occasionally curling; his tiny nose and delicate eyelashes. She was itching to hold him, dying for a cuddle. She would wait, not wishing to wake him and risk Grace's wrath.

Becki arrived, without Rob. She squeezed the air out of Max again. She punched him lightly on the arm.

"I've missed you, dude," she said, before her attention was drawn to Tom.

Luke had barely sat down before the doorbell rang again. Gaby and Scott.

"Max!" Gaby's smile was wide, full of brilliant white teeth.

She held out her arms. Max enveloped her, while she smacked a kiss on his cheeks. Scott stood and stared at him, his face straight.

"Why didn't you tell me you were home?"

Max shrugged.

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Oh really? That's very considerate of you," Scott nodded, seemingly unamused.

Max tilted his head.

"I know you're messing with me," he said, half smiling.

Scott shook his head, still stone faced.

"No, I'm not."

Gaby elbowed Scott's side.

"You're gone for six months and then you think you can just turn up anywhere and be welcomed back with open arms?"

Max pretended to ponder for a moment.

"Yes, I do actually."

Scott couldn't keep up his pretense any longer. His stern expression began to crack.

"Ah just come here."

He looped his arm around Max's neck and curled him into a headlock, rubbing his knuckles on Max's head.

"This is how much I've missed you, you b*****d."

Gaby looked at Jo and rolled her eyes.

"Men."

Suddenly, Scott, Luke and Max were inseparable, moving into the kitchen for beers. Moments later, Tom stirred, his little face crinkling as he began to cry. Grace scooped him up into her arms.

"Will you hold him while I prepare his bottle?" she asked Jo.

Jo grinned.

"I would love to."

Carefully, she took him from Grace, placing one hand behind his neck to support his neck, the other under his bottom. She held him to her chest, his chin resting on her shoulder. The warmth and weight of his little body in her arms was a welcome comfort. Jo rarely gushed over babies. She wasn't one to point out cute babies wherever she went, like Lou was prone to do. But it was different with Tom. He was Luke's baby. His skin was so soft, and his eyes were stunning; the brightest blue. Oh she wouldn't mind this, she thought, a precious little treasure of her own.

Grace returned with Tom's bottle. Seeing how content he was in Jo's arms, she let Jo feed him while she made tea for the ladies. Becki went with her to help. Gaby hovered at Jo's elbow, fascinated by little Tom who gazed up at her. The men came back, laden with plates and Jo's cakes. Jo was cooing at Tom, swaying gently on her feet. Max smiled.

"Move aside people, lady with tea coming through," Becki called out, carrying a tray of mugs.

She set them down on the coffee table.

"Take a seat everyone," she said.

Gaby hadn't left Jo's side.

"Do you want to hold him?" Jo asked her.

"Who? Me? Oh no."

Gaby held up her hands and backed away.

"Come on," encouraged Jo. "You'll love him. Hold your arms like mine."

Gaby did and Jo gently laid Tom in Gaby's arms.

"Here, keep his head in crook of your arm with your other arm under him, yeah that's it."

"He's so small," Gaby said, softly. "Hello, hello there little man."

Yep, Jo thought, Gaby was smitten too. She noticed Scott looking at his wife too. The expression on his face was unreadable.

They were halfway through their second cup of tea and had demolished Jo's cakes when Eddie arrived. He apologised for being late and was woffling on until he realised Max was there.

"Max," he grinned, his face completely lighting up. "I had no idea you were back. How was America?"

Max was hauled into yet another suffocating hug. He slapped Eddie on the back, it once again hitting home just how much he had missed all his friends. He was never leaving again.

They all sat and listened to Max tell them about all his adventures in America. They were envious but they didn't begrudge him. As Scott listened, he knew the old Max was back, the one who was more interested in having a good time than working, especially seeing how relaxed and at ease he was with baby Tom sleeping in his arms.

Chapter Five

The following week, Becki and Rob played host to Jo, Max, Scott and Gaby at their complete renovated house. Becki had been dying to show her friends, especially as they hadn't guests over in two months while the finishing touches were made. She loved their house now. It had turned out better than she had imagined.

Becki led everyone on a tour over the house. Rob stayed in the kitchen making drinks. Jo was impressed, although a lot of the colour schemes weren't to her taste, everything matched and flowed seamlessly from one room to the next. She loved the softness of the thick carpets under her feet, the cosiness of the kitchen with its farmhouse feel and the dreamlike atmosphere in the guest room. Scott and Max marvelled at Rob's tiling skills in the bathroom and the sexy new shower that looked space age and ultra modern. Gaby asked Becki when Rob would be free to come and redecorate her house, seeing as Scott was so reluctant to do any DIY.

Sitting in the living room, painted a warm mocha shade, they discussed home design, the merits and disasters of DIY. Jo could see the happiness glowing in Becki's cheeks; her house was finally complete, now she could start making it feel like a home. Jo and Gaby laughed over Scott's famous DIY fails, fondly remembering getting swamped in a sheet of wallpaper trying to escape from the wall. Becki was busy telling Scott and Max about visiting countless stores to find a particular lamp she'd set her heart on. Rob sat and listened to both conversations.

When rain began lashing down outside, and Gaby voiced her reluctance to riding home on Scott's bike in the rain, Becki suggested a game of Cluedo. She'd recently found the board game when she was sorting through boxes in the garage. Why not, said everyone. Jo, being the only unattached female, insisted on being Miss Scarlet. Gaby swiftly laid claim to Mrs Peacock and Becki sighed and agreed to Mrs White. Scott challenged Max and Rob to fight him for Colonel Mustard. They didn't bother. Max was happy with Professor Plum and so Rob was Reverend Green.

The game was amusing, filled with random ad-libs and innuendos.

"Ooo in the library, with Colonel Mustard and the rope."

"I wouldn't trust him."

"Hey, he's got a sexy monocle."

"Which he never removes, even during sex."

"Argh, what a turn-off."

"Right, I want Mrs Peacock, in the Billiards Room with the lead piping."

"You mean you don't already have the lead piping, Plum."

"Er no."

"No, he's just pleased to see you."

"Aptly named, Professor Plum, don't you think?"

"He's so badly having an affair with Mrs Peacock."

"He certainly is not."

"Well, I'm always sure Mrs White and Reverend Green are at it."

"And Colonel Mustard is lusting after Miss Scarlet."

"Yeah, the dirty old b*****d. He's probably old enough to be her father."

"I think this was a crime of passion. Mr Black was clearly in love with one of the ladies, and a jealous admirer bumped him off."

"No, you've got it wrong. Someone owed him a lot of money they were never going to able to pay back, so they eliminated him."

"It was Mrs White, because he said her onion soup tasted like a sweaty Frenchman's armpit."

Mrs Peacock, with her expert sleuthing skills and rolls of the dice, caught the killer of poor old Mr Black. She confronted Colonel Mustard in the Lounge, the scene of the crime, with the candlestick. Colonel Mustard was furious, outraged. He was a man of honour, he postulated, until his wife told him to shut up.

Waving her friends off, Becki sighed. It had been such a pleasant afternoon. It was simple but

she had really enjoyed it. That was largely due to her friends. They had laughed so much while playing Cluedo. It had been good fun. She was glad she finally had a finished house to welcome them to, not a building site. She closed the door and walked back into the living room to ask Rob what he fancied for dinner. He was gone.

Jo had got a cab to Becki's but Max offered to drive her home. She began to decline, still feeling a bit awkward around him, but he insisted.

"Are you working tomorrow?"

"No, day off luckily."

"Nice. Any plans?"

"Well, I did want to go and see the new Chris Pratt movie, but no one wants to come with me, so I guess it'll be another day around the house."

"I'll come with you."

"What?"

"I'll come with you. I'm not busy. What time were you thinking?"

Jo blinked, completely thrown off by his unexpected offer.

"Er um, I don't know. You don't have to come, it's fine really."

"No, I'd like to see it and honestly I'd welcome a distraction, something to get me out of the house. You'd be doing me a favour by letting me come with you."

Jo thought for a moment. She really wanted to see the movie and it wouldn't be so bad with Max. They wouldn't have to be talking that much or anything.

"OK, I'll check the times when I get home and let you know, will that all right?"

Max smiled.

"Sounds good to me."

Later that night, after she had made arrangements with Max by text, Jo sat and thought. She hadn't forgotten the night of Scott and Gaby's wedding, nor the evening of Becki's barbecue or Max visiting her on returning home. She had tried not to read too deeply into any of what Max said or did. But it was difficult when he continued to be kind to her. She frowned at her reflection in the mirror on her bedroom wall. They were just going to see a movie, as friends. He wasn't going to do the creepy arm slide around her shoulders thing, they weren't teenagers. She laughed at herself and threw a pillow at the mirror.

After five different outfit changes, Jo settled for a rugby shirt and jeans. She didn’t want to be too overdressed, making Max think she saw their cinema trip as a date. He was dressed casual too, although he looked like a model in his black jeans and chambray shirt. When he smiled at her as she got into his car, her stomach flipped over.

The film was good fun, they both enjoyed it. Afterwards, Max drove her straight home. They spoke for a few minutes, parked outside Jo’s house, about future movie releases they were looking forward to. There was no awkwardness, no pretensions this was anything more than two friends hanging out. It felt good. It felt really good.  

Chapter Six

Finding himself with nothing to do and a little bored one sunny Saturday afternoon, Max decided to drop by Lou and Jo's, see if they fancied going to the pub for lunch. Without bothering to phone first, he drove the thirty minutes to them and eagerly rang the doorbell.

Lou answered the door.

"Max!" she beamed, a flash of red lips and white teeth. "Brilliant."

She dragged him inside, her pink gingham dress floating around her knees, and into the kitchen. His eyes fell on baskets on the counter, then to the ice box on the floor.

"We're going blackberry picking and we needed an extra pair of hands and yours are just perfect," she explained.

Max blinked.

"We're taking a picnic too. Oh did you bring your car? That's perfect," she continued, packing some wrapped parcels into a cool bag.

"Right, I'm going to get my phone and wet wipes then I think we're about set to leave."

She disappeared and left Max, shellshocked, standing in the centre of the kitchen, not sure what planet he had just landed on.

Jo strolled in, humming to herself, straw hat on head, wearing denim cut-off dungarees and grey Converse.

"Oh hi Max."

She wasn't expecting to see him but she felt immediately happier.

"We're going blackberry picking," he stated, but as if he wanted reassurance.

"Lou invited you to come along?" Jo asked, pouring herself a glass of water.

Max grimaced.

"I don't think I had a choice."

Jo laughed and nodded.

"Don't worry, it'll be fun. Plus we have packed a mean picnic and have plenty of beer. Eddie's coming too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, seems he needs a little cheering up."

Another failed romance.

"Right."

"You didn't have any other plans, did you?"

"No, I dropped around to see if you and Lou wanted to go for a drink and a late lunch at the pub."

"Oh, well you can join our picnic instead."

"Love the hat, by the way," Max smirked.

It did look cute on her head, especially with her hair braided into two pigtails over her shoulders.

"I don't know why you're looking so smug, Lou's got one for you too."

"Are you serious?"

Jo shook her head.

"First rule of blackberry picking, you wear a straw hat when blackberry picking."

As if on cue, Lou bounced back into the kitchen.

"Here, Max I brought my favourite one for you."

She held out a dark brown straw Stetson.

"No fair," pouted Jo. "You never let me wear that one."

"That's because you just couldn't do it justice, no offence."

Max took the hat from Lou and placed it on his head. Lou was right.

"It looks good," admitted Jo.

Lou growled at him. The doorbell rang.

"Oh that must be Eddie."

Eddie was treated to a straw Trilby which suited him perfectly with his pale blue shirt and chino shorts. He complacently helped load up the tiny boot of the car with Max and didn't say much. Jo and Lou came out of the house, bags slung over their shoulders, Lou had a blanket under one arm, Jo a watermelon under hers.

"Right, we're all set," said Lou, pulling the front door closed behind her. "Let's get this show on the road!"

Jo and Lou squeezed into the back of Max's Porsche while Eddie sat in the front, baskets piled on his lap. Lou urged Max to turn the volume of the radio up and she was away, singing along. The drive to the river didn't take long. Max parked in the shade and then helped pull Jo out of the back seat. She fell into him laughing.

"Woops, sorry."

He caught her and steadied her on her feet. Lou had managed to extricate herself perfectly. Ramming her straw hat firmly down on her head she exchanged Eddie a tube of sunscreen for a basket. He looked questioningly at her.

"Come on, Eddie, you know you'll burn like anything in this heat. And I don't want to have to listen to you moaning about sunburn and peeling skin for the next week."

He shrugged and did as he was told. Jo put a bottle of water in each basket and handed them out.

It was quiet by the river. They saw a few cyclists ease along the path on the riverbank and the occasional dog walker. Lou led their little party. She had looped her arm through Eddie's and was skipping along. Jo stopped, spying a blackberry bush. Most of its berries were ripe and black, but a few green and red were dotted among them. Taking care to avoid the thorns, she began picking and filling her basket. Max appeared beside her.

"Hey, leave some for me," he said.

"Er you snooze, you lose," Jo teased.

Max responded by lifting Jo up by the waist and moving her behind him.

"Hey!" she cried, in protest.

The sudden contact had startled her, but she liked it. She liked playful Max, he was fun.

"No one said anything about playing fair," he said, picking three berries at once.

"It's not a competition," Jo snorted, strolling along.

"Not for you, maybe because you'd lose."

Jo stopped, turned and looked him directly in the eye.

"Try me, Vaughan," she said. "It'll take more than verbal sparring to beat me."

Walking on ahead with Eddie, Lou had chatted away about this and that. Eddie hadn't been particularly responsive. He'd hardly picked any fruit, happy to hold the basket for Lou while she did. He had that lost puppy look about him again and her heart went out to him, as it always did. She just wanted to cuddle him, pat his head and tell him it was going to be all right. But with Eddie it never was. There was always one thing after another. If it wasn't another failed relationship, it was a disciplinary at work, an impending payment on a loan or a car repair. He bungled from one calamity to the next.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, eventually, when his continued silence became maddening. "About Maria?"

Eddie shrugged.

"What's the point? It's not going to get her back with me."

"But it might help you," said Lou. "Just to talk about what happened. Instead of bottling it up."

"I was an idiot, that's what happened," he replied, bluntly. "Same old story."

"What did you do?"

Eddie didn't answer.

"Eddie, you might as well tell me because I am not going to let it go."

Eddie picked a blackberry out of the basket and threw it into the river.

"Same thing I do with every girl. They try and do things for me, really nice things and I throw it right back in their face."

He met Lou's eyes.

"I won't let them be good to me, like I don't want them to be."  

He shook his hair, his curls falling across his forehead.

"I have no idea why," he added. "They're nice girls and I treat them like s**t. They don't deserve that."

"But Eddie, you're not a bad person," argued Lou. "You're one of the nicest men I've ever known. You're lovely actually. You're just a bit lost, I think."

Eddie didn't look convinced. He glanced back at Max and Jo. They were play fighting, using their hats to hit each other.

"Maybe," he half laughed. "Or maybe I don't know how to be in a relationship. Maybe I should just stay single, better for everyone."

"Don't say that!" scolded Lou. "One day you'll meet a girl who will understand you, and will wait for as long as it takes for you to find what you need. Because you have so much to give and someone one day will see that and appreciate it. So you're a little broken right now, but cometh the hour, cometh the man."

"That's sweet of you, Lou, but who am I kidding? Look at me. I'm a sports coach who smokes and drinks like there's no tomorrow. I am always behind with my bills, got loan repayments coming out of my ears. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Why is anyone going to want to be in my life?"

A look of self-loathing settled on his face, his nose wrinkling in disgust.

"I want to be in your life, Eddie," replied Lou, defiantly. "So does Jo and Max, and Scott, Luke, Gaby, Becki. Lots of people. And why? Because you're Eddie. You may not have a perfect, easy-going life but you have a life, one which you can do whatever you like with. And you have people in your life who genuinely care about you. We all want you to be happy and we'd all be more than happy to help you out, whatever you needed. Sure life sucks a lot of the time, but you shouldn't waste time focusing on all bad things, you should be grateful for what you have and thinking how you can improve your life. And don't you even think about saying, 'it's easy for you to say' because no it isn't. Everyone has their demons and everyone is fighting them, maybe not every day but they're there. Sure, we could all be like you and mope and sulk as if the whole world is against us, but some of us take ownership of our problems and try our best to rectify them."

She snatched the basket out of his hand.

"I'm angry with you now, so you'd better stay away from me for a while."

She stomped off. Eddie stared at her back. Yeah, he'd just got told all right. He was angry at himself for upsetting Lou, especially as she was only trying to be kind and help. He'd just proved his own point. God, he was such an arsehole.

"Truce!" shouted Max, his stomach aching from laughing so much.

He backed away from Jo, who had battered him with her hat and a stray branch she had found. He hadn't laughed like that for a long time. He had to stop to catch his breath.

"Enough, enough," he waved at Jo.

"Do you submit?" she grinned, triumphantly.

She stood in front of him, hands on hips, out of breath.

"Maybe, but first I'm going to steal your stick."

He leapt up and grabbed the branch from her hand.

"Hey!" Jo cried, in indignation.

Max snapped the stick in two over his knee. Jo pouted at him.

"You're no fun, Max Vaughan. Spoiling my amusement."

"When your fun comes at my expense, then yes."

She stuck her tongue out at him, still breathing heavily, and retrieved her basket.

"That's been the most fun I've had in ages," she admitted.

"I never you knew you were so aggressive and competitive," noted Max, brushing grass off his hat.

"Oh, I'm full of surprises," joked Jo, winking at him.

"Now I'm intrigued."

Jo laughed.

"Well, you'll have to stall the intrigue for now," said Jo, looking around. "We need to find Lou and Eddie. I hope they haven't gone too far. I'm hungry already."

Ignoring the prickles and thorns, Lou tore blackberries from their stems. She was so angry with Eddie. She had brought him out to cheer him up and all he could do was sulk. As if he had the right to sulk. He had control over his life yet he chose to do nothing, to take no productive action. If he wanted to wallow in self-pity then he would have to wallow alone. She continued picking berries furiously until she noticed the weight of her basket tugging her arm down. It was almost full. She didn't know where the others were. She hadn't realised how far she had marched in her temper. Perhaps she should go back. Her hands needed washing. Her fingertips were purple with blackberry juice, her palms scratched and beginning to sting. And her stomach was growling, thinking of that picnic awaiting her in the boot of Max's car. That would definitely improve her mood, especially the fresh doughnuts she'd picked up from the bakery that morning. And she could really do with a cold beer too.

"Do you know what happened between Eddie and Maria?" Max asked Jo.

They were continuing along the river, trying to catch up with Lou and Eddie, stopping briefly to pick a few berries here and there.

"Nope," replied Jo. "I mind my own business. If Eddie wanted me to know he'd tell me. Did he tell you?"

"No, first I heard of it was when you told me."

"I guess it's not something he wants to discuss with everyone, another failed relationship."

"I imagine not. Though got to feel sorry for him. Can't seem to catch a break."

"Well, I do feel sorry for him to certain extent. Eddie is the master of his own destruction."

"What do you mean by that?"

"He doesn't exactly do himself any favours. Do you think any woman wants to be with a guy who nearly always looks like he spent the night sleeping in a bush?"

"Hey," Max held up a hand in protest. "He doesn't look that bad. That's just his style."

"What? The I-Don't-Know-What-A-Hairbrush-Or-Iron-Is look? And it's not just his 'style'."

"Please elaborate. No actually don't, he's right there."

Eddie was sitting on a tree stump, smoking. Jo looked at Max as if to say 'exactly my point'. Eddie said nothing as they approached.

"Where's Lou?" asked Jo.

"She er carried on ahead," Eddie said, not looking up, flicking the ash off his cigarette.

"We were thinking of heading back to the car to get something to eat," said Max, sensing something was up.

"Right."

Jo felt like slapping Eddie around the head. She hated it when he was like this. If Lou had left him alone there was a reason too. She glared at him and began to say something when Max laid a hand on her arm and shook his head. She pursed her lips.

"I'm going to find Lou."

She thrust her basket into Max's hand and strode off.

Max stood in front of Eddie.

"Well done, mate. You've obviously upset Lou by saying something and now you've annoyed Jo too."

"What can I say," he stubbed out his cigarette. "It's my talent, to repel women in various different ways."

"You do know Lou is doing all this to cheer you up."

"Yeah."

"Then why are you being such an arse?"

"Because I don't know how to be anything else."

"Well, maybe you should start learning how."

Max fell quiet. Jo was returning with Lou.

They opted for the picnic blanket instead of the picnic bench. Lou had packed enough food for an army. Sandwiches, crisps, sausage rolls, pork pies, scotch eggs, olives, gherkins, pretzels, cherry tomatoes, carrot and cucumber sticks with dips, chicken drumsticks, crackers, strawberries, grapes, mini doughnuts, cinnamon swirls, chocolate and cereal bars, cookies and a box of Ferrero Rocher.  Everyone dug in hungrily, piling their paper plates high with food. There was a gentle breeze skipping through the grass, keeping them cool under the heat of the afternoon sun.

Despite the tension between Lou and Eddie, the conversation flowed freely. Max told them that his new motorbike was arriving from America soon. Eddie asked man stuff about it, like the engine and blah blah blah. Lou and Jo had more important questions.

"Will you take me for a ride on it?" asked Jo, reaching for another scotch egg.

"Maybe," replied Max. "If you ask me nicely."

"How much nicer can I get?"

Max smiled cheekily.

"Oh, a lot."

Jo stuck her tongue out at him.

"So," said Lou. "Are you going to be zooming off out of the city to go tear up those country roads?"

"Yep. Got myself a full set of leathers already. Thinking of growing my hair and beard out."

"And become the third Hairy Biker? Though you'll have to learn to cook," said Eddie, blandly.

"I can cook already."

"You can cook?" echoed Jo.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"He's actually pretty good," admitted Lou.

"Don't believe it."

"You doubt my culinary skills?"

"Absolutely."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Consider the gauntlet thrown down."

"I stoop, pick it up and accept the challenge."

"Name the hour and the place."

Max paused to think for a moment.

"Why don't you come to mine for Sunday roast tomorrow? All of you, of course. I don't think I could tolerate Jo's company alone for more than an hour."

Jo threw a napkin at him. He smirked back at her.

"I would be delighted to come," said Lou. "I shall bake a blackberry crumble and cheesecake for dessert, if that's all right with you."

Max blew a kiss at her.

"Ed?"

Eddie looked awkward.

"I'll have to let you know," he replied.

"I assume you will turn up," Max said to Jo. "Unless you wish to withdraw."

"Absolutely not, I wouldn't even think of sacrificing my honour in such a way. I'm no coward. I shall be punctual."

"I will make you eat your words," Max warned her.

She shrugged, nonchalantly.

"So, say one o'clock tomorrow then?"

They nodded.

"And that," said Jo. "People is how you get a free meal cooked for you."

Lou watched Jo and Max during the picnic and after as they basked in the sun. They seemed to enjoy teasing one another, or was it flirting? Jo was always sarcastic and playful. But Max was giving her a run for her money. She loved the amount of time Max was spending with them now. He was so much freer with himself, so eager to please and to have fun. And Jo seemed to be a catalyst for that. Though neither of them should any signs of being interested in each other romantically, there was something there, a bond, connection, understanding, Lou didn't know, but it was definitely something. Hopefully a blossoming friendship if not anything else.

As for Eddie, well her anger at him had cooled but she was in no mood to joke and laugh with him. She was pleasant. Jo had asked her what had happened, but she refused to explain. She didn't like drama.

Eddie had been waiting for an opportunity to speak Lou alone. Jo and Max had just gifted him one. He didn't want to be at odds with Lou. She was his closest friend and he felt horrible for upsetting her. He knew he had to apologise.

"Lou," he began, tentatively.

"Hmmm."

She didn't turn to him. He ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he continued. "I am a selfish b*****d and I didn't mean to upset you."

"Saying you're sorry is easy, Eddie," Lou replied, folding the blanket away. "I don't need an apology. I don't need anything. But you, you need to think long and hard about what's important to you, and what you're willing to do. And perhaps you should be more appreciative of those who care about you and who want to help. Because even their patience isn't expendable."

Lou's words followed Eddie round his house that night. He couldn't escape them. He didn't know why he was so upset but he sought out his usual refuge. The bottle of whisky was almost empty by the time he fell asleep on his couch. He knew Lou wouldn't be impressed. He hated himself. Hated how he could never get anything right. How he was a massive failure. And if Jack Daniels could help him forget, just for an hour or so, then he wasn't going to say no.

Barely eating anything for breakfast, two cookies and a mug of tea, Jo's stomach was growling, loudly when she and Lou arrived at Max's house.

"You should have eaten a proper breakfast," scolded Lou, ringing the doorbell.

"I wanted to save room for the delicious looking crumble and cheesecake," replied Jo. "Although, I'll be in a food coma for the rest of the week, it'll be more than worth it."

The door opened.

"Ladies," grinned Max. "Come in."

They stepped inside. The smell of roasting potatoes wafted over them.

"Mmm something smells good," said Lou.

"It sure does," agreed Jo.

"Give me thirty minutes and dinner should be ready. Come through to the kitchen."

Jo looked around, having never been to Max's house before. The hallway was painted a dove grey, the carpet a slightly darker shade. Glimpsing the living room while she removed her shoes, she saw a dark brown leather couch with a matching armchair, tartan throws of red and navy blue cast over them, a Sherlock chair on the other side of the oak and glass coffee table. Max's TV was huge, of course. He and Scott were always discussing TVs, size, definition, gobble de gook. The living room had a very bachelor pad feel to it but Jo felt it didn't feel like a home. There were few personal touches. No photos, random clutter anywhere. The room was too big too, or just too empty. Sneaking away using the excuse of needing to use the bathroom, she had a quick snoop over the whole house. It was impeccably clean but it lacked character and warmth. She doubted Max even felt truly at home here.

Max was rosy cheeked when Jo returned to the kitchen. He had been dipping his head in and out of the oven, Lou told her, constantly checking on the roasting leg of lamb.

"Cooking is about precision and timing," Max said, defending his efforts. "I really don't want to ruin this lamb, it wasn't cheap."

"The smell of it alone is making my mouth water," said Jo.

"I will prove your lack of faith in my cooking wrong," said Max, throwing a tea towel over his shoulder before stirring the saucepan of gravy on the hob.

"I am well and truly prepared to eat humble pie," replied Jo, laughing. "When it comes to good food I will gladly swallow my pride."

"See how easily she is won over," said Lou. "And they say food is the way to a man's heart. They clearly haven't met half the women I know."

Max eventually shooed them out of the kitchen so he could plate up. He ordered them to take a place at the dining table in the living room and to pour themselves each a glass of wine. They obeyed, taking a seat opposite each other. Jo sipped her wine, her stomach now feeling like an empty, bottomless cavern. Max walked in, a plate in each hand. Jo's pupils dilated.

"Roast lamb with all the trimmings," Max announced, placing a plate in front of them.

Jo's stomach growled in approval. Itching to seize her knife and fork, Jo waited until Max had returned with his own plate and sat down.

"Dig in," he encouraged. "I know how hungry you are."

Jo cut into a slice of the meat and broke into one of the roast potatoes, crispy yet crumbling into soft fluffiness. Spearing them on her fork, steam curling around it, she placed it in her mouth. Jo chewed slowly, savouring the richness of the mint and rosemary and the divinity of the potatoes. She looked up at Max.

"Serve me the humble pie," she said. "I'll scoff the whole thing. This is delicious. And I am never going to doubt you ever again."

Max grinned. There was no hint of triumph or arrogance on his face.

Lou nodded in agreement.

"Can't believe you've been holding out on us this long, Max," she added.

He shrugged.

"It's nothing special."

Lou raised her eyebrows at him.

"Understatement of the year."

Dinner was a success. Jo thoroughly enjoyed herself. Not only was the food delicious, but the conversation was entertaining too. Max told them about previous cooking attempts and experiments, earlier ones that hadn't been quite the triumph this roast was. One included a pancake on the ceiling of his parents' kitchen, another resulting in a fire engine pulling up outside the house. Then Lou shared her experiences in the small restaurant she had worked in as a chef. She'd applied for the job knowing only how to make a cooked breakfast. Luckily, she had been a fast learner and had oodles of charm so her boss didn't sack her.

After Lou's marvel of desserts, they collapsed, bellies full on the couch and armchairs. They lazily watched a rerun of Columbo on TV. Lou dozed off, curled up on the couch. Jo smiled affectionately at her.

"Poor baby," she whispered. "She was up at eight to make the crumble and cheesecake."

"That's Lou," replied Max, softly. "Dedicated."

"So, did you hear from Eddie this morning or . . . "

Max shook his head and sighed.

"I phoned him around ten o'clock, he didn't answer. So I tried again just before you arrived. He answered but from the sound of it he was pretty hungover."

"Oh."

"Mmm," Max agreed.

"I don't think Lou made up with him."

"If he was hungover, they definitely didn't."

Now Jo rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Sometimes, I feel like shaking him," she said, her voice still low as not to wake Lou.

"He seems to speed from one train wreck to another, despite everyone's efforts to help him."

Max nodded.

"Tell me about it. I mean we laugh and joke about him, with his hapless relationships, but under all that is worry and concern. One day he's going to fall off a cliff and have no idea how it happened."

"I know it eats Lou up, seeing him like he is sometimes. And so reluctant to help himself. She must be fed up of banging her head against a brick wall."

"Probably, but she won't give up trying. Like I said, she's dedicated."

"Well, if it was me, I would have throttled him by now," Jo confessed.

"Yes, you made your opinion of Eddie pretty clear yesterday."

Jo grimaced.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be a b***h. But his behaviour is obviously upsetting his friends, not just Lou, you're angry with him too."

"I am because once again instead of facing up to his mistakes he decided to lose sight of them in the bottom of a bottle."

Max rubbed his face, clearly frustrated.

"Even when they don't listen, all you can do is be there, I guess, for when they really hit rock bottom and need someone to pull them back on their feet," Jo mused.

"Or a swift right hook to the jaw," said Max. "Either way, I hope it'll be sooner rather than later, before everyone loses their patience with him for good."

Eddie wasn't mentioned again. After Lou woke from her nap, they went for a walk, feeling sluggish from so much food. Lou thread an arm through Max's and he invited Jo to do the same with his other arm. They strolled along, arm in arm, relishing the balmy late afternoon sunshine and light breeze. Jo smiled, happiness swelling from deep in her chest. She had thoroughly enjoyed the past two days. She had enjoyed Max's company more than she would admit. It felt good to be around him but she warned herself not to get too attached. It wouldn't be long before another girlfriend was on the scene, she had no doubt, and then he wouldn't be spending so much time with them.

Max did not see the girls for a while after that Sunday. He was busy with work and preparations for his brother’s wedding. Lou did call him when a week later she and Eddie made up. She didn’t like staying mad at anyone for too long. Max was surprised how much he missed the company of the girls. Maybe because they had a tendency to fuss over him, Lou anyway. Jo just liked to tease and bicker with him, stalwartly refusing to back down from any discussion with him. Perhaps it was their softness and warmth. And he did feel protective of them.

Chapter Seven

Lou squeezed her hands on the steering wheel, resting her forehead against it, taking deep breaths. She refused to cry. She was stronger than that. She couldn't sit here all night in the car. She was getting cold. Sighing, she pulled her bag off the passenger seat and unlocked the door.

Entering the house, she felt its warmth surround her. The lights in the kitchen and living room were still on, and there was the faint muffle of the TV, including some gunfire. Jo was still up and most likely watching more of her Batman cartoons she had been obsessed with lately. It was so comforting, the familiarity and the welcoming lights. She walked into the living room. Jo was perched on the sofa, a blanket around her shoulders, a mug of tea on the coffee table in front of her.

"Hey," Jo said, looking confused. "I thought you were staying at Danny's tonight?"

Lou shrugged.

"I changed my mind," she lied.

"OK. Want some tea?" Jo offered, pausing her cartoon with the remote.

"Sounds amazing."

She sank down into an armchair as Jo swept past her, blanket still tucked round her. Lou stared at the TV screen; a frozen shot of Batman delivering a chest kick to a thug. She hadn't planned on telling Jo anything, or telling anyone. But she was hurting right now. The tears were there, at the back of her throat, threatening to choke her up at any moment.

Discarding her blanket on the sofa, Jo placed a mug in front of her and studied her.

"What's up?"

"What do you mean?"

"Lou, you came in and sat down, let me make you tea. Usually, when you get home you are bustling around doing a million different things, insisting on making tea or whatever for me. Something is definitely wrong."

Lou bit her lip. Jo could see her fighting the emotion.

"Lou, just tell me."

"I broke up with Danny," she said, eventually.

"Right," said Jo, not appearing surprised or shocked. "Why?"

"He told me I needed to grow up, to stop playing at being Mary Poppins and wearing stupid clothes."

She gestured to herself. "He said, why couldn't I be like other women, dress like other women, why do I always have to be an exhibitionist."

Jo's face hardened.

"I told him," Lou continued, jutting out her chin defiantly. "That this is who I am, and I love who I am. I am not going to change for anyone, not even him. And then he began to make fun of my job, mocking what I do. He was so smug and I just saw red. I shouted at him, calling him an egotistical, selfish moron who was dead inside and that he could go to Hell. Then I marched straight out of there."

"Good girl," grinned Jo.

"But I feel so . . . " she swallowed. "So rejected and hurt."

Her face fell, her lip trembling.

"Don't, Lou, don't you dare let him make you feel any less about yourself.” Jo paused, keeping her anger in check. “If he can't see the beautiful ray of sunshine you are, then that's his loss. You deserve someone so much better. Someone who will love you for who you are, not who they want you to be."

"I know," Lou sniffed. "But I thought things were going so well between us, that finally I had found something good. But no."

She brushed a hand across her eyes.

"Why can't I find anyone? Just someone to love me, that's all I'm asking for. He doesn't have to be hot or rich, just have all his hair and teeth. Why is it so difficult?"

"Because people aren't like you, Lou," replied Jo, softly. "They only look with their eyes and not their hearts. And some of us just have to wait longer for our happy endings. In the meantime, I've got Batman."

"Does that mean I can have Superman?"

Jo smiled.

"Yes, you can have him all to yourself. And he can easily beat any stupid ex-boyfriends to a pulp."

"I like him already."

Jo laughed.

"Now cheer up and drink your tea. Then put your pyjamas on and we'll watch The Wedding Date to give us hope that we can at least hire a male escort and he may fall in love with us."

Leaving Lou giggling into her mug, Jo went into the kitchen to wash up. She had hidden her anger at Danny knowing it wouldn't serve any purpose. How could he say stuff like that to Lou? It also showed that despite her confidence and individuality, Lou could still be made to feel so insecure. That wasn't right. Lou wouldn't be Lou without her brightly coloured wardrobe, big smiles and eccentric behaviour. That's what made her so endearing. And that she didn't care what anyone else thought of her. She didn't let anyone destroy her joie de vivre. She was so glad Lou hadn't stayed; that she had stood up for herself and said what needed to be said. Though she still wanted to throat punch Danny for upsetting Lou.

Gaby and Scott’s wedding anniversary came and went. They spent the week in Venice celebrating. The next event on the social calendar was Eddie’s thirty third birthday. Jo had been looking forward to this night for weeks. She loved to dress up a little glamorous, have a few drinks and let her hair down. She finished smoothing on her red lipstick and pouted in the mirror. Yup, finishing touch done.

Lou poked her head through Jo's bedroom door.

"Cab's on its way."

"I'll be down in two minutes."

Placing her lipstick in her handbag, she picked up her pair of heels, switched off the light and jogged downstairs.

Max's eyes raked over Jo as she walked in with Lou. Her black jeans shaped her legs perfectly, her matching black lace shirt sexy. And her red heels matching her lipstick. She'd pulled her long hair up into a ponytail, her favourite silver hoop earrings larger than usual.

He noticed several men glance her way when passed. No wonder with those sleek legs in heels. Jo was oblivious to the attention she was getting. Her eyes and smile fixed on their little group. He was almost jealous when she leaned in to kiss Eddie's cheek and wish him 'Happy Birthday'. Then she turned to him and smiled a 'Hello.'

"No Rob tonight?" Max asked Becki handing her a glass of her favourite rum and coke.

"No, he's working late," frowned Becki.

"Are Luke and Grace coming?" said Jo, directing her question at Scott.

"No. They have no time for socialising." replied Scott, bitterly.

"What? Really?"

Jo was surprised. It was Eddie's birthday after all.

"I called him and asked him," Scott explained. "He said he'd come, then Grace overheard and suddenly he couldn't come any more."

"Oh," said Jo, understanding the undertone of Scott's explanation.

"Grace doesn't like him going out," added Gaby. "Especially after he's been at work and she's been at home all day with the baby."

"We don't mind if he brings Tommy with him when he meets us at the pub or comes to ours," said Scott. "But Grace won't let him. It's like he's not allowed a social life any more. She's sure got him under the thumb."

"But I saw Grace in town at the coffee shop with a group of other mums with Tommy," said Becki.

"Yeah, she can see her friends when she wants to, but Luke can't," said Eddie. "Not even for a birthday."

"Why is she being like that?" asked Jo.

"Well, I always thought she did her best to wrap Luke around her little finger," noted Gaby. "Now she's even worse."

"I never pegged Luke as such a pushover though," put in Lou.

"He's not," replied Scott, jumping to his absent friend's defence. "But to be honest, I think he's too tired nowadays to put up a fight."

They all hummed in agreement.

"Why don't you go and visit him?" suggested Jo. "Why don't we all go? Surprise him."

"What? Just turned up at his house?" asked Lou.

"Yeah."

"Oh Grace wouldn't like that," said Becki.

"We don't care what Grace thinks," said Gaby. "We'd be doing it for Luke."

"Yeah," agreed Jo. "Show him his friends haven't forgotten him since he became a dad and still want to hang out with him. Baby or not."

"Yes," said Lou. "I think it's a great idea. We'll take our own food and drinks, or order a takeaway."

"And just turn up en masse?"

Lou nodded.

"Well we'll see what evening we're all free," said Gaby.

"It's a date."

"And now back to Eddie and his birthday. Scott, it's your round."

Lou bounced over to Eddie and handed him a gift bag.

"For you," she grinned. "Open it now."

"Lou," groaned Eddie, "You didn't have to get me a present."

"Shush, don't be stupid," she protested.

He set his pint down and opened the bag. Removing the paper Lou had carefully wrapped around it, he pulled out a photo frame. The picture inside was of him and Lou and his black labrador, Chaucer. Chaucer had died not long after the photo was taken, after being hit by a car. His death had devastated Eddie. He looked up at Lou, hoping she could see in his eyes how much this gift meant to him.

"Thank you."

He reached out and pulled her into a hug, nuzzling her. She laughed.

"How are you doing anyway?" Eddie asked, keeping his arm circled around her waist, looking intently at her. Lou's smile faded a little. She nodded.

"Yeah, I'm good."

She laid her hand on his shoulder and pecked his cheek with a kiss.

"Thanks."

"You better be," Eddie warned. "I don't like seeing my best girl sad. That big smile is all that keeps me going sometimes."

Lou's smile lit up her face.

"With friends like you, Eddie, how can I not be happy?"

"What did she get you?"

Scott flung his arms around both of them.

"More than you did."

"Hey, I asked you what you wanted and you said just buy me a few drinks."

"Now, boys . . ." smirked Lou.

Settled at their table, they waited for their nibbles and bar food to arrive. Jo loved evenings like this. Drinks, good food and friends. Everyone chatting away, complaining about work, moaning about family, sharing stories, discussing the latest episode of some series, laughing and joking. It was comforting and eased out the tension of her spine after a long week at work. Lou was glad Eddie was much more cheerful than his usual self. Max had told her that Eddie had to decided to leave off dating and relationships for a while. He seemed to be more relaxed and enjoying himself. No pressure to please anyone or live up to any expectations. Looking around, Gaby thought everyone was in good spirits. It had been months since they'd all been out together. She'd missed it. She wished Luke could have been there too. Scott missed him.

Gaby shuffled up next to Becki.

"We see a lot of you without Rob nowadays. Is he always working or busy?"

"What are you implying by that?" asked Becki, defensively.

"Was thinking he doesn't like hanging out with us any more. We haven't seen him since Tom's christening."

"Rob's been doing a lot of overtime. And when he's not working he's pretty tired," explained Becki.

Gaby wasn't convinced, but she didn't say so.

"Well, you and Rob should come round for dinner one evening. Scott and I would love to have you both over."

"Sure, why not?" said Becki.

"Make sure you let Rob know that I specifically invited him."

"Mmm hmmm," replied Becki, non committedly.

Gaby left Becki to her fried chicken and chips. The following day she would tell Scott she was worried Becki's relationship was falling apart and Becki didn't even realise. She hadn't mentioned to Becki that she had see Rob a few weeks before. He had looked exhausted but was pleased to see Gaby and that she had stopped to chat to him. She had sensed something wasn't right then. Becki's dismissive attitude practically confirmed it. Scott's advice would be not to get involved.

"She'll end up losing him though," Gaby would argue.

"I know you want to help but people have to make mistakes and learn from them for themselves, Gaby," Scott would say.

Gaby rarely liked admitting her husband was right, but this time she would.

"Oh no," groaned Lou, suddenly.

"What?" asked Max.

Lou gestured to where Jo stood, on her way back from the Ladies. She was talking to a guy.

"That is the arsehole who lead her on for two months and was a total s**t."

Her nose wrinkled, her lip curling in disgust. She rarely used bad language like that, so Max assumed that she really didn't like this guy.

"Just look at him, smug b*****d."

Max looked. The guy had a hand on his hip, a beer in the other, his expression superior. Jo was looking at him blankly and disinterested. He didn't know the whole story of what had happened between him and Jo, but he knew enough. Draining his glass, Max stood up. Weaving his way through the tables and people, he walked towards Jo. A broad grin widened Lou's mouth as she watched.

Jo's stomach had plummeted when she'd seen James. One never wished to be reminded of one's mistakes by being confronted by them like this. There was no way of avoiding him. He was blocking her path back to their table. His eyebrows had risen slightly on seeing her. She gritted her teeth. Better to get it over with.

"Hi! Wow! You're looking good," he said, his voice immediately grating on her. "How have you been?"

Jo's forehead creased in confusion. Was he for real? She could feel her cheeks smart in humiliation, remembering the high hopes she’d had for them.

"What?"

"How have you been?" he repeated, his eyes momentarily dropping to the opening of her shirt.

She wanted to gag.

"Don't even bother," she half laughed.

"Why?" he stared intently at her.

"Look I know things didn't work out before but you know maybe we should give it another go," he shrugged.

"You're funny."

"What? Suddenly, I'm not good enough for you?"

It was becoming evident that he had quite a few drinks already.

"You never were. It just took me a while to realise that,” she replied, trying to cool her rage and annoyance.

"Well, I don't see them queueing up to be with you," he sneered.

Suddenly, Max appeared beside her. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. She didn't resist. She slid her hand up his back. James looked up at Max and then back at Jo. Max said nothing. He just stared down at James. James coughed, clearing his throat. He began to speak but Max cut him off.

"Come on, Jo. Let's get another drink."

He twined his hand in Jo's and led her to the bar.

"Thank you," said Jo, squeezing his hand.

"Don't mention it,"he replied, winking at her.

Jo didn't look back at James. She ignored him for the rest of the evening, though he and his friends stayed nearby until about ten. Max occasionally glanced over and caught James looking in Jo's direction. He had to fight the urge to walk back over and punch him in the mouth. He saw Scott glowering across the room at him too. He wasn't surprised. Even Gaby and Becki were discussing ways they could humiliate and eliminate him, though out of Jo's earshot. It was clear she didn't want to talk or even think about James, and they wouldn't let him ruin her evening.

Sitting in the cab with Lou and Eddie on the way home, Jo couldn't stop thinking about James. She didn't want to but their conversation, as brief as it was, kept playing over and over again in her head. She shuddered at the memory of his smug face. She wanted to claw the image of him from her mind. Thank God Max had come along. She didn't know where the conversation would have gone if he hadn't. She smiled. James didn't like Max's sudden appearance at all. Max had been very sweet to her all evening, staying close to her, making her laugh, helping her forget about that low-life. Towards the end of the night, his arm had stretched out along the booth behind her. She liked it, it was comforting. And he had waited with her until their cab had arrived, pulling her close to hug her goodbye. She hadn't resisted. He had looked very huggable in his deep blue sweater. He smelt incredible too, as always. She shook her head, gazing out the car window. Max and her had a good time together but there was no way he would be interested in her. She didn't mistake his kind behaviour towards her for anything else. He was just being a gent. It was cool, to count Max as a friend was enough for her.

Chapter Eight

19 July 2016

Max: Are you watching the match?

Jo: What match?

Max: England v Australia

Jo: Oh

Max: So are you?

Jo: No

Max: What? Why aren't you watching? Call yourself a rugby fan

Jo: No, I call myself f*****g amazing

Max: Very funny. Seriously, what is so important that you can't watch the rugby?

Jo: Nothing. I am watching it

Max: I think I hate you

Jo: Most people think that, but they love me really

2 August 2016

Max: I'm visiting my parents at the weekend. Could you bake me some of your cupcakes to take with me please? I know they'd love them

Jo: I'm sorry, what did your last slave die of?

Max: Disobedience

Jo: Well, you'll never quash the rebellion. You may cut off one head, but three more will grow back in its place

Max: Ha your overconfidence is your weakness. Soon you will witness the end of your insignificant rebellion

Jo: You're gravely mistaken. You won't enslave me like you did my father

Max: Oh no, my young baker. You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things

Jo: I'll never bake you cupcakes. You've failed, your bossiness. I am a free woman, like my mother before me

Max: So be it . . . woman

Jo: So how many cakes do you want? 12?

Max: That would be perfect, thank you

Jo: We seriously are nerds

Max: The Force is strong with the nerds

15 August 2016

Max: I'm booking tickets for Quins v Wasps. You in?

Jo: Do you even need to ask?

Max: Well, I don't like to presume

Jo: Presume. If it's rugby, always presume

Jo: Who else is coming?

Max: At the moment, just Scott, you and me

Jo: Really? No, Eddie or Luke? Or any of the girls?

Max: They can't make it. Sure you can handle us two guys?

Jo: Are you sure you can handle me?

Max: Yes, with kid gloves

Jo: Awww, I do like leather

Max: You do?

Jo: Yes, black preferably

19 August 2016

Jo: Lou said you took her for a ride on you bike, before me! I'm genuinely hurt, Max

Max: Hahaha sorry

Jo: Not good enough. I feel slighted

Max: You can ride it next time you come over

Jo: Gosh, romance is definitely dead.

Max: Haha drag your mind out of the sewer, Goodwin

Jo: You knew exactly what you were writing, Vaughan. Don't play Mr Innocent with me

Max: What game is that? Sounds interesting

21 August 2016

Jo: You smell

Max: I know, so do most people with noses

Jo: Not funny

Max: Can give out sarcasm but can't take it

Jo: Can be a nobhead without actually having a nob

Max: Below the belt, Goodwin

Jo: Nope, still can't find it. Need better directions

31 August 2016

Jo: Are you free tonight?

Max: Yes, why?

Jo: Can you come round and make me a bacon sandwich, I'm starving

Max: Sluggard

Jo: Tyrant

Max: Peasant

Jo: Evil Overlord

Max: Insignificant underling

Jo: Butcher

Max: Baker

Jo: Candlestick maker

Jo: Do we need help?

Max: No

Jo: You're in denial

Max: Probably

The plan to visit Luke was a success. Everyone made sure they were free on the particular evening and all arrived on time. There were many hushed whispers and giggles as they unloaded food and drink from the cars on the road outside Luke's house. It had felt good, all of them being together, partaking in a covert mission.

Quickly buckling her seatbelt, Jo rolled down the window and waved at Luke. Max pulled away from the curb and Luke disappeared out of sight. Jo sat back. She grinned thinking of his face when he saw the crowd of them, cheering "Surprise" on opening the front door. He had looked worn out but his smile was irrepressible. He'd hugged everyone in turn, so pleased to see them.

Once they were all seated, he asked after them each, how was work; how had Eddie's birthday been, apologised for not being able to join him for his celebrations. Not once did he willing mention himself. He had lots to tell them about Tom but not a word on how tired or stressed he was, no complaints, nothing. But then that was just like Luke. He was a private person and not a great sharer of his personal feelings.

It was obvious Grace didn't like the mass invasion of her house. She disappeared upstairs early before they'd eaten, to put Tom to bed. She didn't return. Luke didn't seem to notice, too absorbed in catching up with his friends. Jo had sat and watched him smile, laugh, joke and banter with the guys, his exhaustion having melted away, as if he had been rejuvenated by the company of his friends. She smiled now, remembering how warmly he'd hugged her goodbye.

"I'm so glad we did this," she said. "Just to see him not smiling for two hours straight."

"Seconded," agreed Lou.

Max nodded.

"I've missed his gorgeous face and perfect cheekbones."

"He's missed you guys. His bros, his wingmen."

"OK, just stop."

"His homies."

"Stop."

Jo giggled.

"I hope it isn't as long 'til we see him again and baby Tom. He's growing so quick. I am a bit sad I didn't get any cuddles tonight."

"Well, don't look at me, I'm not making up for it."

Jo slapped his arm lightly.

"As if you could replace little Tommy," Lou said, from the back seat.

"Exactly," agreed Jo.

The song changed on the radio.

"Oh yes," commented Jo. "I love this song."

"You like 30 Seconds To Mars?"

"Oh yes. I actually . . . no I'm not going to tell you."

"No, come on you have to tell me now."

"You'll laugh at me."

"No, I won't, I promise."

Jo said nothing.

"Is it that you have a life size poster of Jared Leto in your room or something?"

"No that's me," said Lou, yawning.

Jo laughed.

"What then?" persisted Max.

"Well, I've always wanted to get a bike and cycle around London at night, listening to this song, really loud. You know in the music video they cycle around Los Angeles at night. I don't know, it's like a bucket list thing. Would be pretty cool, don't you think?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?."

"Well, I doubt I'll ever do it, just a weird fancy of mine."

Jo stared at her hands, thinking why on earth she had told him that. She had never told anyone. He must think her a total fruit loop. No, she was pretty sure he thought that already, she'd merely confirmed it for him.

Stretching his back, Eddie smiled. He hadn't been to the cinema for a while, but he had enjoyed the film and the 3D effects were impressive. A few friends from work had invited him along. He hadn't any plans and he was trying to make an effort to be more sociable. They'd eaten pizza before the movie but now his stomach was growling. He was about to suggest a takeaway when a woman exiting the Ladies caught his eye.

Eddie stared. No, he was seeing things, surely. It was Lou. She walked over to a man and twined her hand in his. Eddie's face hardened. It was Danny. When had that reunion happened? She didn't look like Lou. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a grey top. No bright colours anywhere. He swallowed, anger pumping in his veins. Lou glanced around and saw him. She held his gaze for a moment, before her eyes slid away. Eddie blinked. She'd ignored him, not even smiling a hello. He clenched his jaw. Saying a brief goodbye to his friends, he marched out of the cinema to his car.

In a simmering fury, he drove to Lou and Jo's and parked outside. He waited for twenty minutes before another car pulled up and Lou eventually emerged from the passenger side. Eddie waited until Lou was inside and Danny had driven off before he left his car.

Lou wasn't pleased to see him when she answered the door. She rolled her eyes.

"Go home, Eddie. I want to go to bed."

Eddie pushed inside and closed the front door behind him.

"Not until you give me an explanation. Are you back with Danny?" he asked, his eyes boring into her.

Lou folded her arms and glared at him.

"It's none of your business."

"I think it is. Especially when you left him because he treated you like s**t."

"Like I just said, it's none of your business."

"Oh but prying into my love life is always your business?"

"I don't answer to you or anyone, Eddie."

"No, but you can stop yourself making a stupid mistake."

Lou said nothing.

"What bullshit has he told you? He hasn't changed, Lou. He's still the same b*****d he was before, no matter what he says."

"You don't even know him," said Lou.

"I don't need to. Anyone who criticises you for who you are is a worthless piece of s**t, and I'll be damned if I'm going to stand by and let you turn yourself into someone else because of him."

"Last I looked, it was my life and I can do what I want."

"And destroy yourself in the process? Lou, you're better than this."

"Don't tell me what I am. Better still don't tell me anything. Just leave. I don't want you here."

Eddie softened his voice.

"Lou, I just don't want to see you get hurt again."

"I don't care what you want."

"Maybe you should. Maybe you should realise your friends care about you, more than that pathetic excuse of a man."

"Just shut up!"

"Truth hurts, doesn't it?"

"What the hell is going on with you two?"

Jo appeared in the hall doorway, wrapped in her dressing gown, book in hand.

"Lou is back with Danny," replied Eddie, not missing a beat.

Jo's shoulders fell and she looked at Lou.

"What? Is this true?"

"It's no one's business, so would everyone just shut up and leave me alone."

She pushed past Jo and stormed up the stairs. Her bedroom door slammed shut.

"Can you believe she would be so stupid?" Eddie asked Jo, running a hand through his hair.

Jo shrugged.

"It's not for me to judge. But I did think her to be smarter than this," Jo admitted. "But sometimes you have to learn the hard way."

Eddie began to argue but Jo stopped him.

"It's her choice, Eddie, her life. She can do what she wants. So just leave it."

Eddie listened to Jo. He left it but he was furious with Lou. The weeks following, he avoided Lou. How could she? It repeated over and over in his head. He spent hours bending Max's ear about it when they met for a drink the weekend after. Max said the same as Jo had; it was Lou's choice. He'd gritted his teeth. Well, if it was her choice it didn't mean he had to accept it. When he did see her, he was cold and blunt, barely saying a word. Eddie's behaviour towards her was upsetting, but Lou wouldn't confront him about it. She didn't want any more drama or quarreling. He'd get over it soon enough; find something else to sulk about. No one was pleased Lou was back with Danny. Becki couldn't believe it but allowed herself to talked around by Jo, so she wouldn't fly off the handle at Lou. Scott and Gaby wouldn't talk about it and Luke didn't feel it was his place to have a strong opinion on the matter.

Chapter Nine

Biting her lip, Jo glanced nervously around. They were in central London. It was night. Max handed her another small MP3 player, the earphones dangling from his fingers. She took it, plugged the earphones in her ears and pressed Play. A slow grin rippled across her face as she heard the familiar eagle call. Max pushed down on his pedals and was off. Jo copied him, loving being on a bike again, the motion and the strange feeling of weightlessness wafting over her.

Leading the way, Max cycled down the deserted streets, weaving around parked cars and potholes. Bathed in the soft amber glow of street lamps, Jo followed, wallowing in the music, letting it sink deep into her skin, into her bones.

They crossed Westminster Bridge, passing a few moving vehicles. Then Big Ben loomed up ahead, a tall, stalwart guardian in the night, magnificently ablaze with light. Jo gazed up, dwarfed and insignificant. Her legs began to tire, but the sight of Buckingham Palace, regal lady in the night, spurred her on, pedalling through the fatigue tugging at her thighs. Gliding down The Mall, a wonderful sense of peace settled over her. She loved cycling, that amazing feeling of freedom it always gave her. It was exhilarating. Her heart wanted to soar out of her chest, up into the night sky. Suddenly, she felt a culmination of empowerment, rejuvenation and enlightenment.

When they cycled into Trafalgar Square, Max slowed. He hopped off his bike and pushed it to one of the lions, leaning it against the stone balustrades. Pulling her earphones out, after she had dismounted, Jo noticed how heavily she was breathing. Yes, she was out of shape. Max pulled a thermos flask from his rucksack and handed her a small tin mug.

"Hot chocolate?" he offered.

Jo beamed at him.

"You are just  . .  . amazing," she said, holding her mug steady while he poured.

Max shrugged.

"This has been awesome," she continued. "What a way to see London. It feels so magical, like a completely different world from the day time."

Max nodded, sipping his hot chocolate.

"Well, worth being here, awake at three a.m?"

"Oh yes. I wouldn't trade sleep for this. Although, my legs do feel a bit jellified right now."

Max laughed, his face lighting up so beautifully.

"So are you going to make me cycle all the way home?" she asked, unsure she would make it even half way.

"That's entirely up to you. We can carry on cycling or I can get us a lift home."

Jo was torn. She so wanted to see more of London at night, but she was exhausted. She could feel the tiredness clawing at her, wanting to drag her down. It had been wonderful. She didn't want to ruin the night by fighting her fatigue and getting frustrated.

"As much as I would love to carry on cycling, my body will throw a tantrum if I even suggest it."

"It's OK. I feel pretty tired too. Let me call, Aaron, he'll come get us."

"Who's Aaron?"

"He's one of the drivers at work. I asked him to be on standby."

Aaron arrived twenty minutes later. He strapped the bikes onto the rack on the back of the Range Rover. In the back seat, her body was fighting her mind. She was so so happy and wanted to bask in the moment, but her body was screaming at her. It wanted rest. She half listened to Max and Aaron chatting in the front, her eyelids drooping.

"Wake up, sleepy head. You're home."

Jo jolted and blinked. She didn't remember falling asleep. Max got out and opened the passenger door for her. She thanked Aaron and shuffled out. She looked up at Max and smiled.

"Thank you so much tonight," she said, her cheeks flushing. "It was incredible, I loved it."

"It was my pleasure. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now you can add another dream to your bucket list."

Impulsively, Jo reached out to hug him. She wanted him to know in a subtle way how much it meant to her. That he had listened to her, heard her and helped her live a dream of hers. She was touched, truly touched. Max's arms closed around her, reminding her how much she loved his hugs. She could fall asleep, standing up with his arms around her.

"Well, get home safe," she murmured, pulling away.

He leant forward and kissed her cheek.

"Goodnight Jo, sleep well."

That night Jo didn't walk up the stairs to her room, she floated. In a daze, she got undressed and washed her face, before sinking into the sheets and drawing her duvet up over her shoulders. Max arrived home by five in the morning but he was still awake at six. Eventually, fatigue dragged him under. When he woke nine a.m, he knew. His day at the office crawled by. Every time he glanced at the time, only a few minutes had passed. He had considered making a phone call but no, this deserved the personal touch.

Arriving at Jo and Lou's, he rang the bell, flexing his shoulders, feeling much more comfortable in his jeans and sweater. Sometimes a suit could be so stifling. Jo opened the door, her face lighting up immediately.

"Max, I wasn't expecting you," she smiled, standing aside to let him in. "I thought you'd still be tired from last night. I know I am."

"Hey, I'm a professional."

He led the way into the kitchen. Jo flicked on the kettle.

"Tea or would you prefer a beer?"

"Tea, please."

Max watched her as she busied herself getting mugs from the drainer on the sink, then to the fridge for milk.

"You want anything to eat?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks."

Jo was confused. She could feel the tension in the air. Everything was fine last night.

"Everything OK?" she asked, deciding to cut to the chase.

"Yeah, sure," Max replied, smiling reassuringly.

She handed him his mug, their fingers brushing. Max stared down into his mug and thought it had to be now before he chickened out and delayed.

"I need to talk to you about something. Something important."

He looked at her cautiously. Jo swallowed, her chest tightening. She had her suspicions on what was coming. She was intrigued, but she also wanted to say no, she didn't want to hear what he had to tell her. She leant her back against the counter and blew gently on her tea.

"Mmm, what is it?"

"Well, I wanted to say I enjoyed last night so much." His face broke into a huge grin. "It was so fun and liberating and crazy, but incredible."

Jo nodded in agreement.

"It was amazing."

"When I'm with you, I'm never bored," Max continued. "We have the most bizarre conversations sometimes. You can have me in stitches within minutes. I love spending time with you. A year ago, I thought you were silly, childish and a stubborn bigot."

Jo grimaced, wrapping her hands around her mug, gleaning its warmth.

"But I couldn't have been more wrong. You live your life according to your rules and you don't care what anyone else thinks. And that is brave. You're not afraid to be yourself and let others see you who really are."

He paused to take a sip of his tea. Jo's expression hadn't changed. She stood patiently, as always, listening.

"These past few months, I've looked at you and thought 'why hasn't any guy snapped her up yet?' You have such a big heart, so generous and caring. You listen and always try to help. You're fun, funny, spontaneous, so easy to be with. Not to mention hot, especially with that sexy eyeliner of yours. And you do have the most beautiful eyes."

Jo looked down. Max could still see her blush spreading across her cheeks.

"And then I remember," he explained. "I knew you for over three years before I truly saw you. I see you, Jo and I think you're wonderful. You know what you bring to the party? Smiles and laughter."

"Hell yes," she beamed.

"And you were right about me. How could I be happy with a woman like Paula when someone like you can offer so much more. I was too stupid to see. But you have opened my eyes, Jo. You are kind to people, you're there for them, support them or whatever they need, and you never look for anything in return. Sometimes you make me ashamed. Your selflessness. I don't think there is anyone else I respect or admire more."

Jo was speechless. She swallowed, his words moving her. Men never spoke so openly and honestly as a rule. Especially to sing her praises.

"Thing is Jo, I do regard you as one of my closest friends," Max said, rubbing his jaw. "But that isn't going to be enough for me. I want to be the one you call when you're upset. I want to hold while you cry. I want to share in your joys and your sorrows, lessen the pain if I can. I want to protect you, care for you, spoil you. I want to laugh hysterically with you over the silliest things. I want to make you smile every day. I just want you in my life, for always."

Jo blinked furiously for a moment, her heart pounding.

"I think you were just the exception that proved the rule," she said.

"What rule?"

"That men are incapable of saying what they truly feel due to misplaced male pride and testosterone."

Max shrugged.

"So how many rom-coms did watch before you came up with that little speech?" Jo teased, setting her cup down.

Max's smile faded and he looked at her seriously.

"Don't make light of this, Jo, like you do with so many other things."

He bridged the distance between them, so close he could smell her shampoo in her hair.

"Jo," he whispered.

His voice was so husky she felt the nerves tingle along her spine. She avoided looking at him, knowing he wasn't going to like her reply. He stepped forward, resting his hands on her hips, his forehead against hers. Jo raised her own hands, palms on his chest, nudging him away.

"You have to let me think about this, Max," she said, quietly. "But thank you. All those lovely things you said, they mean a lot that and I really do appreciate it. But..."

She sighed, her shoulders drooping.

"I'm not sure what I want or feel. This is so sudden and I . . . "

"Hey," soothed Max. "It's OK, Jo. I just needed to tell you. I don't expect any huge declaration in response, though it would be nice. But you know this feels right? This is me."

"Yes, and you're too good a friend to lose if this doesn't work between us"

"Tell me, do you feel anything for me other than friendship?"

"Max, don't push me right now. If you do, I will walk away," warned Jo. "I'm not making any promises but I'm not entirely adverse to the idea of you being more than just a friend."

Max knew how stubborn she was. I f he didn't respect her and her wishes, he would lose any good chance he had with her.

"OK, I'm satisfied for the time being," he replied. "But I am not going to keep my distance while you figure this out. I need to be around you."

"Fair enough," agreed Jo.

She didn't want him to stay away. She was so confused. Half of her was delighted Max wanted her. The other half was terrified and uncomfortable. Recognising an internal battle, Max held out his arms.

"Come here."

Jo didn't disobey. Max's hugs always made her feel safe and calm. Settling her head against his shoulder, she closed her eyes.

"I meant every word I said," he whispered against her hair, his arms tightening around her.

The next day, Max paced around his office, wearing down the carpet, restless as if he had ants in his pants; He couldn’t stay still. He wanted to see Jo. He picked up his phone. That would be useless, she was working. Grabbing his keys from his desk, he told Sally he was going out and to forward any important calls to his mobile.

Max saw Jo immediately, standing behing the Help Desk. She looked very different from t

he previous night. Her hair was swept up into a smooth bun; small diamante studs replacing her usual hoops. But her trademark sweeping black eye liner was still there. She was wearing a short sleeved black shirt under a grey pinstripe waistcoat. Her head was bent in concentration. Smiling, he strode over.

"Hello."

Jo's head snapped up. She blinked twice. Max was the last person she expected to see, even though she hadn't stopped thinking about him all morning. Blood rushed into her cheeks, her stomach flipping over. He was dressed for the office, but had discarded his jacket. She took in his rolled up sleeves, revealing the gorgeous, tanned skin of his arms. His black shirt fit snugly across his shoulders and chest, the top few buttons of his shirt undone. He'd worn black on purpose, knowing she had literally no defence against it. Damn, he was hot, and he knew it. She clamped her mouth shut, composed her face then turned to him.

"Can I help you, Sir?" she asked, blandly, a silent challenge in her eyes.

Max had watched her discomposure at his appearance with great interest. He'd seen her gaze rest on the opening of his shirt. He knew she wasn't as immune to his looks as she pretended. This was going to be fun.

"Well, you can, Miss," he replied. "By letting me take you out to dinner tonight."

Jo pursed her lips.

"Sorry, that isn't in my job description."

Max raised an eyebrow. Jo shrugged dismissively and picked up a pile of books. Placing them on a trolley, she wheeled it away from the desk towards the bookshelves. Max followed. He grinned when he saw she was wearing boots, which didn't quite match her smart black suit trousers. Not exactly adhering to conformity.

Jo didn't check to see if Max had left or not. She secretly hoped he hadn't, though she wouldn't admit that to him. She was delighted he had dropped by. He was serious. But that didn't mean she wasn't going to play hard to get. She was still unsure about what she wanted. Max, looking irresistible as he was, was making it difficult to think clearly. Letting a smile tug at her mouth, she glanced at each book's spine then searched for its home on the shelf.

"You know, you make me wonder what you're thinking when you smile like that?"

Jo jumped, startled. Her hand rested on her chest. Max was grinning smugly at her through a gap in the books on the shelf. Jo scowled and glared back at him.

"Go away!" she hissed.

Max mirrored Jo as she continued along the aisle, his aftershave enticing Jo to move closer.

"You're not going to win," he told her, bracing his arms against the books while she scanned for George Elliot.

"Ignore me all you like, or at least pretend to. Not going to make any difference."

The Mill On The Floss was squeezed between Daniel Deronda and Silas Marner after much protestation. Suddenly, Max was beside her, his knuckles brushing across her shoulder.

"How long are you planning on keeping this up?"

Steeling herself, Jo said nothing, picking up another book, fighting to appear impervious to his touch though her body was screaming. Max plucked the book out of her grasp.

"Hey!"

His hand fell to the small of her back. He shoved the trolley aside and stepped closer. Jo stepped back. She swallowed. Max was all male now, no cute goofiness. It was incredibly sexy.

"Will you stop it," she ordered, her voice wavering. "I need ... I need to work."

Max stepped forward again, smiling.

"Sounds like you're nervous."

Jo continued to back away until she hit the wall.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jo dismissed.

Max's grin was wide, flanked by the hollows of his dimples.

"Oh, you're adorable."

He rubbed his thumb across her chin.

"God," he said, roughly. "Am I crazy for you."

Jo felt his breath on her lips. He placed his palms on the wall, either side of her head, trapping her. She couldn't see past the wall of his body.

"Tell me you don't want this," he whispered, huskily, his lips brushing across her.

He lifted his head and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He printed another kiss to the corner of her eye. His mouth skimmed down her cheek, his teeth grazing her jaw. The sensation of his mouth on her skin was soothing and intoxicating. Her eyelids drooped.

"Tell me," he repeated.

Jo parted her lips.

"I don't . . . "

Max seized the invitation and kissed her, tracing the curves of her lips with his own. He heard her breath hitch. His hand clasped around her neck, his thumb stroking along her jaw, his arm circling her waist and pulling her body flush against his. Jo was finding it difficult to resist. She could imagine Jane Austen smiling at her from her perch on the shelf. Dickens, in true Victorian style, averted his eyes, shaking his head in disapproval at such a public exhibition. D.H Lawrence was nodding while Shakespeare was tapping his quill against his chin, considering whether this was a comedy or tragedy.

Laughing inwardly, Jo drowned in the warmth of Max's body. The heat of his kiss was spreading through her blood like wildfire, her skin smouldering. She could get used to this. Curling her fingers around his tie, she tugged and kissed him back. Responding, Max's hand slid lower on her back. Cheeky, she thought. She bit down on his bottom lip in reprimand. Max laughed against her mouth. He broke the kiss and looked into her eyes as they fluttered open. He nuzzled her nose gently, a swift brush of his lips on hers. Her chest rose and fell. Flushed, she stared wide-eyed back up at him. Max bent his head, hungry for more.

A loud cough behind them interrupted Max. He blinked slowly, rolling his eyes in annoyed disappointment. He turned and Jo stretched look over his shoulder. Mrs McKenzie was peering over her spectacles at them. Her eyebrows shot up questioningly. Jo blushed furiously. To be seen making out like a teenager in the library, she was mortified. Max, on the other hand, was smirking like a naughty schoolboy caught red-handed.

"Deepest apologies," he said, flashing Mrs McKenzie one of his dashing smiles. "My fault entirely for distracting Miss Goodwin."

He sneaked a peek back at Jo. She wasn't impressed. Mrs McKenzie wasn't the slightest bit amused either.

"As long as you remember this is the Classics section and not the Restricted," she warned. "Jo, you have St Bart's arriving in half an hour."

Jo nodded, biting her lip. Mrs McKenzie strode off before allowing herself to smile. She didn't blame Jo. Her male friend was quite a dish.

"Restricted section," echoed Max. "The saucy minx. But then all you librarians are, I bet. Hiding under your quiet and bookish demeanours."

His hands stroked up from her hips to her waist.

"I bet she knows the Karma Sutra back to front and upside down."

"Max!"

"Well, if she does, maybe you can ask her for a few tips."

Jo pushed him away and brushed past him.

"Maybe you can ask her out on a date. You're wasting your time with me."

"It didn't look like I was two minutes ago," he preened, full of male arrogance.

Jo looked back at him, her heart sinking. Why did all men have to be so full of themselves?

She sighed.

"I have work to do."

Max watched her walk away, suspecting he had just made a mistake. There was no doubt in his mind now that Jo was attracted to him and wanted him, but it was complicated. Always was with women. Why couldn't she just admit she wanted to be with him? Why did she have to play cat and mouse? He didn't mind the chase but it would eventually get frustrating. Was he missing something? Jo wasn't cruel. If she wasn't interested she would have told him in no uncertain blunt terms. But she hadn't. Well, she had said he was wasting his time. Was that a 'no'? He couldn't accept that. He wanted Jo, badly. Had he made a pig's ear of things by pushing her too soon?

Starting the engine of his Porsche, he wondered whether it would help talking to Lou. She and Becki obviously knew Jo a lot better than he did and might be able to give him some insight. Pulling out of the car park he put a call through to Lou.

Stirring sugar into her cup, Jo stared blankly at the swirling tea around the spoon, reliving Max's visit in her head. Her heart skipped, a warm fuzzy glow settling around it. There was no mistaking how good he felt against her and his kisses had almost reduced her to mush. She couldn't quite believe someone as hot and amazing as Max wanted to do bad things to her. And why was she holding back? That was the more crazy thing. What was the matter with her? She must be crazy. No, no, she thought, sitting down in the small staff room, there was a reason why she was holding back, wasn't there? She didn't want to be played again or taken for a fool. But Max wouldn't do that to her. She sipped her tea. OK, perhaps she was unsure how she felt about him. Nope, she thought he was amazing, lovely and seriously hot, any girl would be lucky to have him. Hmmm. It was happening too fast? Perhaps. But they'd been good friends for months and hadn't she secretly hoping this might happen? Yes, she had, but she never thought it would. Was that it? She was scared because it was happening? It was real now. She put her cup down and took a deep breath. God, she was such a mess. She always prided herself on knowing her own mind and exactly what she wanted and felt. But in fact, she was clueless.  Well, now really wasn't the time for soul searching and self examination. She would have to wait til she was home from work and armed with wine and chocolate.

Lou had agreed to meet Max after work. He picked her up from the charity shop and drove them back to his house. He wanted somewhere quiet where they could really talk and not be interrupted or distracted. They chatted about work and the weather in the car, the radio playing softly in the background. When Lou received Max's phone call and his request to meet her, she wasn't completely mystified about what he wanted to discuss. She may be an airhead at times, but she saw more than she ever let on.

Sinking into the leather couch, Lou smiled encouragingly at Max. He'd sat down on the rug opposite her, resting his arms on the coffee table. He looked directly at her.

"This is about Jo."

Lou nodded, her suspicions proven correct.

"Has it been that obvious?"

Lou shrugged.

"You've been getting closer ever since you returned from America and," she paused, smiling coyly. "I've seen the way you two look at each other."

Max grinned and stared at the coffee table for a moment.

"Well, I kind of told her how I felt and made a move today, but her reaction has given no idea what to think."

He told Lou about the conversation from the night before and him kissing Jo at the library. Lou listened, fighting back the enormous grin that was twitching at the corners of her mouth.

"Lou," he continued, "I am crazy about Jo. She's so much fun to be with and yet so caring and giving. And she knew me better than I did before we ever got so close. She sees so much more than most people. I love being with her, doing crazy, spontaneous things. I love making her laugh and smile. And I care about her, I want to be with her, show her how I can love her, look after her and make her happy. I want this so much."

Lou didn't speak, sensing he wasn't finished yet.

"It's made me realise how empty my relationship with Paula was, because what I feel for Jo . . ." he trailed off.

Lou bit her top lip. If he carried on like this, she would start blubbing.

"I don't care what I do or where I go as long as she's with me," he finished.

"Wow, Max Vaughan," said Lou, eventually, "Who would have thought it?"

Max half laughed.

"I know, not so long ago we hardly said a word to one another, now I want to spend every day with her. But I don't know what she wants. I know she likes, she's attracted to me, God the way she kissed me back there is no doubt about it. But she pushed me away. I just want to know if I'm moving too fast for her and should I back off? Or does she not want a relationship?"

Max ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't know what to think. All I know, Lou, is that I want Jo, I want to be with her."

Lou really felt for Max. He had never been one for sharing his deeper feelings. And everyone had expected him to stick with his superficial relationship with Paula. But he had changed. And that change, she knew, was largely due to Jo's initial challenge and then their blossoming friendship. She was so happy that his eyes had been opened to what a wonderful person Jo was and that he begun to fall for her. She sat up in her seat.

"The first thing you have to understand and appreciate about Jo is that she isn't as straightforward as she seems. Yes, she is easy-going, so laid back and chilled out, but there is so much going on underneath. She is a tough nut to crack. She doesn't have a problem letting people in or getting close to her. She loves people in her life. And she loves to flirt and be charmed, but she is also a bit distrustful and hesitant after being burnt before when it comes to men."

Max began to interrupt. Lou held up her hand to prevent him.

"Yes, I know and she knows every man in different," she continued. "But Jo is very sensitive, despite her thick skin, she feels things deeply and is hurt more often than she lets on. She has such a big heart but it bruises easily. Not that she'd ever let you see. She's passionate and gives everything into her friendships and relationships. But don't take her for granted or be arrogant and don't hustle her."

Max had glimpsed examples of this, he thought. There was more than one layer to Jo.

"One thing you have to remember about Jo is, she is very stubborn," Lou emphasised. "She doesn't like to be told what to think or do. If she feels like control is being taken away from her, then she will go. She doesn't like to be rushed, she'll do things at a pace she is comfortable with. She likes confident men, not soppy mooncalves as she likes to call them. And you are definitely not a soppy mooncalf."

"Thank you."

Lou smiled at him.

"You have to be patient and give her space," she told him. "Do not play mind games with her, she won't give you the time of day. Show her how serious you are about her. No cliched s**t. Be genuine and unique. And Max, if you win Jo, she will love in so many ways, be so devoted to you, you will be one of the luckiest men ever. She has so much love to give and will live to make you happy. But hurt her and you will cease to exist. She's yours to win or lose, so play your cards right."

Everything Lou had said was very helpful.

"You know her very well."

"Of course I do, she's one of my best friends. And I know most of the time, I appear to be off in cuckoo land, but I know Jo, probably better than anyone else. And to understand why she is behaving like this, you have to understand her. So much of the time, her head is battling her heart. And I think a lot of the time, she is afraid."

Max's face creased in concern.

"Why?"

"Because Max, life never turns out the way we wanted or hoped, tomorrow is always the unknown, who knows what could happen. And Jo wants so much to be happy, she doesn't want anything to stop that."

They were silent. Max was realising that Jo really hid so much from everyone. He'd barely scratched the surface.

"So what do I do now?"

Lou looked at him and thought.

"I think you should make a gesture, in a way apologise for your Neanderthal behaviour at the library today. Even though I know she probably loved every moment, there was something that upset her."

"You don't think she's playing hard to get?"

"Oh she will, but by what you tell me of the way she left you, you'd annoyed her."

"Right."

"She's proud, Max. And her guard will be up now. You have to find a way of getting it down again."

"Any suggestions?"

"You need to talk and be totally open and honest with one another. Jo won't lie to you, to protect your feelings or her own. She'll be blunt."

"OK. When?"

"Leave it for a day or two," said Lou. "Give her some time to get this straightened out in her head."

Lou was right. Jo needed time to think. She had gone home that night from work and tried to distract herself from dwelling on Max. She'd put two loads of washing on, cleaned the downstairs, ironed and then sat watching TV with a mug of hot chocolate. Lou didn't get home til late, Jo was already in bed. She was worried her battling mind would prevent her from sleeping, but when she sank into the mattress she felt physical and mental exhaustion pull her under. Waking the next morning, the memory of Max's kiss made her smile and hug herself under the duvet. Then she sighed. She still didn't know what she wanted.

Standing under the shower, letting the water pour over her she began analysing herself and the situation with Max.

"I like Max, I like him a lot. I like hanging out and being with him. I am attracted to him, physically, he is gorgeous, and I like his personality."

She reached for the shampoo and squeezed a splodge onto her hand.

"He is a true gent, a funny guy who is so goofy and adorable sometimes. He makes me laugh so much and makes my heart feel all light and happy. But then he has that sexier, masculine side to him that makes me weak at the knees."

She rinsed the shampoo out of her hair before conditioning it.

"He is confident and reliable, has a good job, I trust him. I am comfortable around him, he is caring and considerate. I like Max hugging and kissing me a lot. I would like him to hug and kiss me some more. He is literally what any woman would wish for, so why am I holding back? What is holding me back?"

Jo stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her wet hair and another around her body.

"OK, I have got hurt and slighted by other guys in the past, but I know Max is very different from all them. Besides we've known each other for quite a while. Some of those other jerks, well it started out as dating. Max and I were friends first. So no, that's not worrying me, as such. Of course, I don't want to get hurt, but it wouldn't stop me from taking things further with Max."

She opened the bathroom door and padded back to her room.

"Am I afraid this would spoil our friendship? I know I don't want to lose Max out of my life, if things go wrong. I like and care about him too much. Or is this moving too fast for me? Is he coming on too strong too soon? Is it all changing too fast for me?"

She dried herself and pulled on her knickers. Fastening her bra, she tugged her trousers from beneath a pile of clothes on the bed.

"Perhaps, it's the loss of control that I'm worried about, always being so independent. But no Max would let me still be me and do what I want. So I don't think that's it."

She paused buttoning up her shirt and stared at the window.

"We would be good together, I know we would. We would have such a laugh and we'd be so good for one another. But am I afraid to let him love me and love him in return?"

She swallowed, her stomach tightening. She shut her eyes. Right then, in that moment she wanted Max, wanted his arms wrapped around her, holding her close.

"Why does it have to be so complicated?" she whispered, aloud.

Friday night, Max called Jo. He hadn't seen or spoken to her since his visit to the library. He simply stated that they needed to talk. She agreed, they did. Max arranged to pick her up on Saturday morning. He said they'd go for a drive, using Lou's advice to get Jo away from the town and somewhere where they could both think and talk freely without being disturbed. Lou knew Jo loved the countryside and the coast, places where she always felt at peace. Jo hadn't discussed what had happened with anyone. She'd only see Lou since, but she wasn't really in the mood to talk to her or anyone about it.

Chapter Nine

Jo sat in the living room, staring blankly at the TV. Butterflies were fluttering non-stop in her stomach which kept flipping over. She kept reassuring herself that there was nothing to be nervous about. Max was a kind, caring, decent guy who she could trust. He wouldn't laugh at her or judge her. But still she couldn't shake the tension or nerves. The waiting was always the worst.

The doorbell rang. Jo shot to her feet. Fumbling her phone in one hand, she scooped up her bag and jacket. Taking deep breaths and walked to the door. As soon as she saw Max's friendly smile, she relaxed.

"Hey," he said, softly.

"Hello," she managed to smile back.

"Got everything you need?"

She nodded and followed him to his car. Starting the engine, the radio sprang back into life but Max turned the volume down. He pulled away from the curb and drove to the main road.

"I know we have a lot to discuss," he began, "But I think we should leave that til we're out of the car and I can give you my full attention."

Yes, that sounded wise.

"But I don't want it to be awkward between us in the meantime. If I upset you the other day, then I am sorry. It wasn't my intention."

Jo said nothing.

"But this is going to be a really long drive if we can't even handle small talk."

"No, that's cool," Jo said, quietly.

The conversation during the hour drive drifted from upcoming superhero movies to the Max's motorbike. They both chatted easily as if there wasn't a big elephant squashed in on the back seat. Jo repeatedly told herself there was no reason to be nervous. She knew Max well enough now, he wouldn't upset or hurt her. No, what was making her nervous was the enormity of her own feelings.

Nearing the coast, Jo opened her window so she could drink in the salty sea air. She loved it. It would instantly transport her back to trips to the seaside as a child, hearing the seagulls cawing overhead. It was a soothing balm against her senses, easing the remaining tension from her shoulders. Beside her, Max smiled.

They made a stop at a little bakery to pick up some hot drinks and pastries. Max drove on and parked near the sea. Jo loved the feel of the sea air on her face. It seeped into her skin to her veins, lifting her spirits, the feeling of freedom and pure surrender flooding her.

Sitting on the grass, very near the cliff edge, they faced one another. The sea breeze was light but the sun warm enough that they didn't feel cold. Max placed their drinks and pastries on a napkin spread out between them. He looked at Jo. She smiled nervously at him. The wind was lightly tugging at his hair, blowing it across his forehead. Her stomach clenched. She really didn't want this to go badly.

"Look, I want you to know I am going to completely honest with you," Max began, maintaining eye contact. "And whatever you say will go no further than me. This is about us, no one else. So no one else needs to know."

"Sounds about right to me," Jo agreed, pulling at tufts of grass.

"Good. Do you mind if I go first?"

Jo shook her head. Hearing where he stood and what he felt, would give her an idea of how much she would be willing to confide in him.

"Once again, I'm sorry if my behaviour upset or offended you when I pounced on you in the library. I really have no excuse. And if I'm not wrong, you didn't hate it. But that aside."

He paused, inhaling deeply. He looked directly at her. Jo's heart jumped; the look in his brown eyes so warm and tender, so serious.

"Jo, I care about, I really do. You are such a wonderful person. You have such a big heart I want you in my life and more than just as a friend."

He broke their gaze, to look out across the sea. His jaw clenched

"Because I am crazy about you. I love being with you."

His eyes returned to her face. Heat crept up her neck.

"I love who you are, that you are always true to yourself. You're never out to impress anyone. You're always making people smile and laugh. And you are so sexy, so much more beautiful than I think you know, well to me anyway," he shrugged.

A lump rose in her throat.

"And I'd be such a fool if I couldn't see how amazing you really are. But thanks to you, opening my eyes to how blind I have been in the past, I see you. And Jo, I love what I see. I want you so much, so much that reason goes out the window and I jump you at your work."

She glanced at him, but he wasn't smiling or laughing. He was staring at her intently.

"I haven't stopped thinking about that kiss," he admitted. "I want more."

Jo's heart skipped.

"But you're giving me mixed signals. One minute you're kissing me back like the world is ending and then you're dismissing me like I'm nothing to you. I don't understand. I don't know what you want."

His voice grew louder, his face creasing in confusion and exasperation, before smoothing out.

"I want to understand you," he continued, his tone softer. "Know what you want. Because Jo, I am not walking away or giving up. I will never get bored or tired of trying. So talk to me, please. I know we'd be good together. Look at how much fun we've had since I came back from the States. And I know there can be so much more. Just give me a chance to show you...."

Max trailed off. There was nothing more he could say. But he hoped it had been enough. He knew Jo well enough to know she had been moved by his words. Her expression gave little away, always the mistress of composure. Now she swallowed, gulped a deep breath and raised her eyes to his.

Jo was unsure what she expected Max to say, but she was stunned. No one had said anything quite so beautiful and touching to her. Her heart swelled with gratitude and love for him right now. And she knew she had to tell him the truth, no hiding anything. But it wasn't going to be easy. She tucked her hair behind her ears and breathed in.

"I care about you too," she confessed, her voice croaky and weak. "And I don't want to lose you."

Max's eyes didn't blink.

"The truth is I want to be with you, but I'm so messed up sometimes, it's easier to walk away than wrestle with my feelings."

She wrung her hands.

"There's this nagging feeling, like an itch i can't scratch, something not letting me be a hundred percent for this. And I can't put a finger on it."

Her hands dropped in her lap.

"At the library, I got annoyed because you were so smug and over confident as if it was so easy for you, to waltz in and have me like putty in your hand. It irked me. But that isn't the issue at all."

She shook her head.

"Max, I have a rubbish track record when it comes to men. None of my relationships last," she told him, defeatedly."No matter how hard I work at it. Sometimes I walk away or he just doesn't bother. So now, well I am so independent and free, used to being single that the idea of a relationship freaks me out a little."

She stared down at her hands.

"Maybe I don't want to get hurt," she suggested, quietly.

Here it was. Perhaps the real reason why she was subconsciously trying to sabotage their relationship.

"You see, I've had my heart ripped out and torn to shreds before."

Max said nothing. He waited patiently. Truth was he didn't know that much about Jo's past but it did surprise him.

"Not many people know about this. I kept it quiet for many reasons. I met a guy on holiday," Jo explained. "He was sweet and kind, and like the idiot I am, I missed all the signals that he actually liked me. But after I came home, we kept in touch and met up a few times."

Her voice trembled.

"And I fell in love with him. His kindness and feelings for me melted my heart and it felt like he understood me. I thought finally someone sees me for who I am and they want me, really want me. Maybe at last I'll get a chance of my happy ending, walking hand in hand into the sunset."

She rolled her eyes.

"But nine months after we met," her breath caught and she swallowed. "He took his own life."

Shock speared through Max. This he really had not been expecting. Jo's eyes were shining, her teeth biting down on her lip, evidence of her internal battle against her emotions. Compelled, Max reached over and held her hand, stroking his thumb across the back of it. She squeezed back.

"He'd been dealing with depression for years. And that day, there was no other way out," she added, briefly.

Her shoulders sagged

"My whole world felt like it had ended. I had never felt such emotional pain before. I was in agony. This lovely, wonderful, kind man who was so sweet to me, who was always smiling, who'd changed me and my life, he had been in so much pain he did such a tragic thing to himself. It broke my heart."

Jo's faced screwed up in sadness and pain, a tear dropping off an eyelash.

"So many hopes and dreams died with him. But the loss of his life, after everything he was to me and everything he gave to me . . . . It hurt so much. It still does. I knew I had really loved him because the pain was so deep when I lost him. Even now when I remember the times we spent together, the things he said to me, it kills me knowing he's not here any more."

She sniffed and wiped away another tear. Max's grip on her hand tightened.

"Somehow, I managed face up to the reality of it. There was no other way I could carry on. I had to accept it. I still love him and I always will. How can I not? When he gave me a glimpse of the happiness I had always longed for. When he offered me his heart, saw me in his future, wanted to make me happy. You cannot ignore or forget that."

She was silent a moment. Max couldn't tear his gaze away from her. He was furiously trying to process all this but he couldn't believe Jo had gone through all this. There hadn't been the slightest hint or whisper of it. Jo spoke again, breaking through his thoughts.

"It was why I was upset at Scott and Gaby's wedding," she said. "Seeing them so happy, so wrapped up in love, and it was days away from the anniversary of his death."

She shut her eyes.

"I couldn't stop the tears. I felt his loss all over again, and I felt so alone, in a room of happy couples and my sweet, sweet boy so tortured that he had to leave me. "

She clamped her free hand over mouth.

"That's why it meant so much to me that you came and found me," she continued, after controlling her sobs. "It made me see that I wasn't alone, I never had been and never would be."

She breathed in and out slowly for a moment, calming herself. She looked at Max, patiently waiting, his face so kind and caring. She had to explain the rest, had to make him understand.

"I still feel his loss but I have moved on. It has taken time but I patched up my poor heart, with the love and support of my friends. Even though it felt like fate had played such a cruel trick on me. To lose the first man I loved in such a way."

She sighed.

"His death changed me and has made me who I am today. It has thrown life into perspective for me and I have let go of so many things. I feel I have learned so much too. I want to be free and live life to the full, wildly and passionately."

She could feel the sadness leaving her now, the burden of her long kept secret being whisked away on the wind. Her confidence swelled.

"I am telling you this, so you understand why I am so afraid of this."

She looked at him earnestly.

"I couldn't bear to lose you, Max. You have come to mean so much more to me. I don't think I could handle it if you walked away from me forever. To find someone, to have another chance and them lose them as well. I have spent my whole life dreaming of romance and falling in love. I've wanted it so much."

Her face fell.

"But my own experiences have been nothing but disappointments or heartbreak."

Silence engulfed them. The seagulls muffled in the enormity of Jo’s words.

"I want to be happy, Max, I don't want any more pain or hurt. If that means staying single then so be it. But on the flipside, I know I care deeply for you."

Her mouth kicked up at the corners.

"You make me laugh, by being a total doofus. You make me feel safe. You make me feel like I'm there, that I am someone. I truly admire you, for all your achievements and the incredible human you are. And yes, I fancy the pants off you too," she laughed, blushing. "And I would be a fool if turned you down."

She was serious again.

"Please, be patient with me," she asked, softly. "I want this, I really do. It's just sometimes I don't know why I hesitate or worry. You have no idea how much I want you, Max. I'm just so afraid of loving you and letting you love me and I don't know why."

Jo couldn't say any more, the emotion overwhelming her again. Her head drooped, tears rolling down her cheeks. She had bared her heart and soul to him, realising as she did how much she cared for Max. She would do anything to make it work between them, anything.

Max felt like he'd been punched straight through the chest and then run over by a freight train. He had not been expecting that at all. Jo had hidden so much, so well. She was so so brave, and he was humbled. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose someone you cared about in such a way. How Jo had coped, he had no idea. To become the person she was today, optimistic, hopeful, fun-loving, having suffered such a loss. It had changed things. Now he respected and admired her so much more.

"We'll take it slow," he said, eventually, keeping his voice soft. "At a pace you're comfortable with. I won't push you, Jo. I don't want to hurt you. I want to make you happy, I want to look after you."

He threw their cups aside and moved closer to her. He caressed his knuckles across her cheekbone.

"Be the one you can always turn to. I am not giving up on you. You make me a better man. You saw me and now finally I see you, all those fragile, vulnerable, broken pieces that you mask with so much courage and strength, with laughs and smiles."

He cupped her neck and commanded her gaze.

"I am so deeply sorry you had to go through what you did and I wish I could have been there for you. I wish now I could take away all the pain and sadness you feel. But you are so brave. You are incredible and it makes me want you even more."

He paused, letting his hand fall.

"I'm not perfect, Jo. I'm just a man. But I am a man who wants know all of you, wants to love you, wants you in my life and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes."

He leant forward and rested his forehead against hers.

"As long as it takes. I'm here, Jo and I am not going anywhere."

"Thank you," Jo whispered.

Jo allowed Max to pull her into his lap and tuck her head under his chin. He held her for such a long time, both of them gazing out to sea, gulls squawking overhead. Jo turned her face into Max's chest and his arms closed around her back, his hand stroking soothingly up and down her spine. He knew Jo was already his but she just needed time. Time for her to get used to this change in her life. Time to adjust and let go of the past which had such a tight grip on her. Despite her brash demeanour and devil may care attitude, her heart was sensitive and deeply scarred. Well, he would shower her with love and affection, anything she needed. He was not quitting on her. He turned his head and pressed his lips to her temple. She was the most precious thing in his life and he was not letting her go.

Chapter Ten

Washing and drying up one evening after dinner one evening, Lou took a deep breath and turned to Jo.

"So, I was wondering if you and Max would come out with me and Danny one evening."

Jo looked at her.

"Like a double date?"

"No. I want you to meet Danny and see that he's not as bad as you all suspect he is. I would like Eddie to come too. I hate being at odds with you all over Danny. So maybe if you spent some time with him . . . "

Jo thought for a moment. She was pretty sure her mind was already made up about Danny. No matter how good at making nice he was, she wasn't going to change her mind. But it obviously meant something to Lou, to have her friends get along with her boyfriend. Well, they could at least try. She knew Max would think similarly. Eddie would be the one to take some convincing. He was still barely speaking to Lou.

"OK. Just let us know a time and a date and we'll be there."

"Thank you."

Two weeks later, Jo sat opposite Danny in a restaurant, Max to her right, Eddie on her left. Lou looked gorgeous, though more modestly dressed in a navy and red dress. Jo's dislike for Danny hadn't lessened. She had to fight to stop her lip and nose wrinkling in disgust at him. He was brusque and condescending, telling Max how he could run his business better. He'd even laughed at Jo when she said she was a librarian. She'd had to bite her tongue. Max merely smiled, hiding his anger. Eddie was seething, the smoke almost visible rising from his ears. Danny felt the need to constantly complain to their waiter over nothing. It was embarrassing. When he made a sexist joke that he'd assumed they'd all laugh at, Jo wanted to storm out right then. But she saw the pained expression on Lou's face and knew she couldn't abandon her friend.

"What's the matter with you lot? Don't know a good joke when you hear one?" Danny scoffed, throwing down the last dregs of his beer.

No one replied.

"Jesus, who died?" he continued, the level of his voice increasing.

"Please, Danny," Lou attempted. "Maybe we're just tired."

"Ha!"

People began to stare. Jo had stopped caring. Let the prick humiliate himself. It was Lou she felt for. Her idea had gone completely wrong, backfiring on her.

"Maybe we should get the bill," Lou suggested.

" 'Maybe we should get the bill'," mimicked Danny.

Jo could have lunged across the table and thrown her drink in his face. But Eddie had bolted to his feet, his hands curled into fists.

"I think we should leave," he said, quietly, his rage in careful check.

"Good idea," agreed Jo, pushing back her chair.

"I'll see to the bill," said Max, leaving the table to find their waiter.

"Lou?"

Lou met Jo's gaze, like a forlorn, frightened, lost rabbit.

"Come on," Jo encouraged. "Let's go home."

"Don't move," snapped Danny, grabbing her arm and pinning it to the table. "You're not going anywhere."

"Let go of her," Eddie ground out, furious.

Danny sneered at him. Jo walked around to Lou's chair before Eddie did something stupid.

"I would let her go, Danny, unless you want to face an assault charge," Jo threatened, not knowing what to say to get him to release Lou.

Lou stood, her arm still gripped in Danny's hand.

"If you go now, it's over with us, do you hear?" he warned.

"Loud and clear," replied Jo, picking up Lou's handbag.

Lou inhaled deeply.

"I thought things were different, obviously not," she pursed her lips. "You're still the same lout and I was an idiot to give you a second chance."

She tugged her arm out his grasp and walked away, not looking back. Eddie was still glaring at Danny, as if he would grab a knife from a neighbouring table and stab Danny.

"Let's go, Eddie. We're done here," said Jo.

Eddie blinked and looked at her. Max rejoined them, putting an arm around Jo. Eddie followed. Danny said nothing.

The drive home in Max's car was painful. Max and Jo did their best to chat about other things, but Lou was silent, staring down at her hands in her lap. Eddie was quiet too, keeping his gaze fixed on the passing traffic. Arriving home, Lou marched out of the car, into the house and straight upstairs. Jo led Max and Eddie into the kitchen.

"Help yourself to drinks or whatever," she said. "I better go and talk to her."

Lou was curled up in a ball on her bed, her shoes cast aside, her handbag on the floor by the door. She was crying. Jo knew it was a mixture of humiliation, disappointment and heartbreak. Sitting down on the bed beside Lou, Jo rubbed her back, leaning her chin on Lou's shoulder.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said, softly. "I'm here as long as you need me."

Lou's sobs and crying didn't quieten until half an hour later. Jo didn't move an inch. Lou's breathing slowed as she calmed herself. She sat up, wiping her cheeks now smeared with black mascara.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?"

Jo shook her head.

"No. I think you're amazing. For walking away from him. Again. I know you, Lou. Even if a person doesn't deserve it, you will give them your all and love them. It's difficult for you to give up on them, even when they're no good for you. It's not so much you're desperate to be loved, you're desperate to love, because you have such a big heart."

She voiced what had been going round her head for the last thirty minutes.

"Lou, we all make mistakes. Trust the wrong people. Believe a lie. It's human nature. So don't be so hard on yourself. Be glad that it's over now. You had to learn the hard way, but you can move on now. Tomorrow is a new day and fresh start."

"He's a pig, I see that now. I saw it, when we're all sitting there, and I couldn't help comparing him to Max and Eddie, how they always treated me and they're not even my boyfriend. Danny paled in comparison. I could see it your face, no matter how polite and friendly you tried to be. So I'm glad it ended the way it did."

Lou's hand rubbed the centre of her chest.

"But it hurts."

"I know," Jo soothed. "It'll take time. Hearts are tender, vulnerable things. They wound easily. But they heal, and you'll be feeling better before you know it. You're not alone, Lou. You never have been and you never will be."

"I know. I know everything you're saying is right, but right now I hate myself for being an idiot, for letting him humiliate me in front of you guys, I'm angry for being rude to you all. But I feel so lost and alone. And for all his s**t, we had some good times, we really did. And there were times when I felt like it could really last, that we had something special."

Jo sat and listened. Lou had to get it all out, everything she thinking, every emotion she was feeling, everything, and the sooner the better. The tears began again and tissues had to be found. There were comforting hugs and attempts at jokes, before Jo persuaded Lou to take a bath and then go to bed. Jo trudged downstairs to find Max in the living room, watching TV. She sat down beside him, laying her head on his shoulder.

"You look worn out," said Max, rubbing his hand up and down her spine.

"I am exhausted. Tonight wasn't easy on anyone."

"Well, I'm sure it was a big comfort to Lou to not have to go through this alone," Max assured her.

"That's what you do for your friends, you look out for them and help soften the blow whenever you can."

"And what about you? Who looks after you?"

Jo shrugged.

"Exactly," he said, standing. "So I'm going to step up and make you a cup of tea."

"Oh that would be amazing," she smiled at him. "I sure could murder a cuppa."

Max enjoyed bustling around the little kitchen, boiling the kettle, making tea, but most of all being able to take care of Jo. She hadn't left Lou's side all night and dealing with someone who couldn't stop crying was draining, especially as there was little anyone could do to take away the hurt.

"Thank you," she said, wrapping her hands around the mug, needing the heat.

Sitting back down beside her, he tugged her close against him, kissing her hair.

"She'll be OK," he said. "She has a bottomless well of spirit, our Lou and we'll all be here for her."

"I know, I just wish she didn't have to go through it all again. I wish she could skip all the heartache and sadness, and get to being happy again."

"I know," soothed Max.

He glanced at his watch. It was almost one am. He didn't have to work in the morning, but Jo needed to rest. She had started to sway slightly, her eyelids drooping. He didn't want to prevent her from going to sleep by not leaving.

"I should be off too now. It's late and you should sleep."

"Don't go. Stay. Please."

"Jo, you're really tired, you need to sleep."

"I will sleep," she insisted. "I'm not going to jump your bones, if that's what you're worried about. Tempting as you are, I am too tired. But you wouldn't deny me some snuggle time, would you?"

How could he say no, when the thought of her curled up against him sleeping was irresistible? The closeness and intimacy he had been yearning for, for weeks. And she had asked him. She needed him with her. Well, he wasn't going to refuse her.

"No, I wouldn't," he whispered, stroking a stray strand of hair off her face and kissing her temple.

After Jo had left her, Lou had tried to sleep, but it was hopeless. She desperately wished she could close her eyes and forget the evening's events. Instead everything, images, voices, words spun round and round her head. She felt utterly humiliated and hurt. She really thought Danny was changing. What a fool, she'd been, what an absolute fool! She was never going to trust herself again, especially when it came to men. She rolled over onto her side, tucking her hands under the pillow. She half wished Jo had stayed with her. She could hear voices downstairs and assumed Max hadn't left. Her stomach clenched, overwhelmed by sadness and loneliness. She couldn't fight the tears. Jo had told her not to; to just let it all out, cry for days if she had to. She didn't mind crying, it was the pain that came with the tears, the knot in her stomach and ache in her chest. But she cried and cried, until the pillow was damp and she finally fell asleep from emotional exhaustion.

Jo woke. It wasn't morning yet. The light at the window was too pale. She blinked and turned to her left. She smiled and stretched lazily like a cat. The sight of Max sleeping beside her made her heart glow and her stomach flutter. She squinted at the clock on her dresser. Four fifteen. Rolling over onto her front and propping herself up on her elbows, she gazed at Max, a rare indulgence, to drink him in while he slept. He had showered before he'd come to bed and she could still smell the tang of pine on his skin. His beard looked so soft. She reached out and brushed her knuckles against it. Yes, it was soft. It never bothered her when Max kissed her. No, she loved his beard, if you could call it that. She thought how good it would feel elsewhere on her body. A ripple of giggles bubbled up from her chest and she had to bury her face in the pillow to stifle them.

Once she had calmed herself, her eyes were drawn to Max's chest, his defined pectorals lightly dusted with hair and his muscular shoulders, glad that he slept topless. She danced her fingertips lightly across his skin, admiring his physique. He was so bitable, she thought, grinning. Rising up, she dropped her head and pressed the bridge of her nose against his throat, dragging it up across his jaw, nuzzling him, rubbing her cheek against his. He didn't stir. Well, she could do this for hours. She hovered her lips over his mouth, sweeping them across his with gentle strokes, desire building with every touch. Resting her hand on his neck and moving so she was above him, she kissed him, nibbling his lower lip. Still no response. After one more fleeting kiss, she laid her head down, snuggling against his chest. The warmth of his body was so delicious, she wanted to drown in it.

Minutes later, Max's fingers curled into her hair and smoothed it down along her back.

"Kiss me again, now," he ordered, croaky.

Jo smiled, loving the rumble in his chest as he spoke.

"Mmmm," she murmured, wrapping her arms around his torso. "I'm far too comfy to move."

His fingers stroked the back of her neck under her hair.

"You wake me up from an amazing sleep and now you refuse to kiss me. You clearly don't know the rules."

"Rules?" Jo echoed, lazily. "Rules were made to be broken."

"Well, I have to confess, I have been woken up by more pleasant and pleasurable things."

Jo sat up and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really? Well, I shall leave you with the memory of those."

She made to pull away off the bed, but Max grabbed her arm. She fell onto him.

"Not so fast, Miss Goodwin."

He flipped her onto her back. She gazed up at him serenely.

"I don't want to ever be woken up by anyone else but you," he whispered, smoothing away her dishevelled hair.

Cupping her face in his hands, he sank into a deep kiss, claiming her lips with a fervour that made the heat flood Jo's body and her mind scramble. His mouth caressed lower to her throat, his beard gently abrasive against her soft skin. Her hands stroked through his hair, her heart beginning to thunder in her chest.

He stopped suddenly, planting his hands either side of her head on the pillow. His eyes were intent on her.

"Are you sure?" he asked, softly.

If she hadn't been half consumed with desire, his concern and care would have melted her heart. Instead, she stared back at him.

"Yes, I'm sure, so shut up and debauch me."

Max grinned and the gorgeousness of his smile was not lost on Jo. She wanted to bask in his grin.

"You are incorrigible," he laughed.

"Damn straight," she said. "Now come and kiss me with that smile on your face."

Max was more than happy to obey.

"Jo, these pyjamas I bet are very warm and cosy, and they are pretty cute, but they basically cover your entire body. Is this is what I'm going to have to deal with from now on?"

"These are damage limitation pyjamas," Jo replied, stroking her hands across his chest then up over his shoulders. "Besides I like comfort when I'm sleeping."

Max groaned. He loved the feel of Jo's touch on his skin.

"But," Jo continued, biting her lip. "I may have some more luxurious nightwear put aside somewhere for a rainy day."

"You do?"

She nodded.

"Well, I suggest every day is a rainy day from now on."

Kissing her collarbone, Max's fingers found the top button on Jo's pyjama shirt. He unbuttoned it and dropped a kiss onto the exposed skin of Jo's chest. She shivered, her eyes flickering shut. His hands moved to the next button. Another kiss. He repeated it with every button until her shirt was open, her upper body bared to him, her skin beginning to pimple from the cool air. Desire flooding his gaze, he gently caressed the soft curves of her body, watching her response to every touch.

"I have wanted to do this for so long," he murmured, his mouth dragging across her throat as his fingers teased with the waistband of her pyjama bottoms.

"Me too," Jo replied, breathlessly, amazed she could actually summon words.

"Seeing you in that red dress at Scott's wedding," Max whispered, in between kisses. "God, Jo, you were temptation itself."

"Well, you took your time."

He laughed, his breath mingling with her own.

"It was worth the wait," he said. "And it's not as if you made it easy for me. Miss Complexity."

"Easy conquests are less fulfilling."

"Are we going to have a philosophical debate or are we . . . . . . "

Jo tugged his head down, kissing him, letting him know what exactly was on her mind right now.

Pulling her dressing gown closer around her, Lou padded barefoot downstairs into the kitchen. The digital clock on the microwave blinked five twenty at her. She had drifted in and out of sleep, dreams and thoughts plaguing attempts to rest. She had finally given up and decided to get some breakfast, well a cup of coffee at least. She doubted she could eat anything yet.

Waiting for the kettle to boil, she noticed her phone on the counter where she'd left it after arriving home last night. She had three missed calls from Danny and a text message from Eddie. She dismissed the calls immediately, her stomach churning. Eddie had been very sweet on the way back from the pub. She tapped on the message to open it. He'd sent it at just after two a.m.

Lou, I'll be around at ten o'clock to pick you up. I'm taking you for breakfast. So be ready. Or else you'll be going in your pyjamas.

Lou smiled. She actually smiled. Straight talking, no nonsense Eddie, instead of offering sympathetic words of support and comfort.

It was good idea. Get her out of the house, stop her moping and feeling sorry for herself. Eddie wouldn't take no for an answer. He'd drag her out to his car if he had to. And her pride may be wounded but her dignity was intact. She'd be ready when he arrived. She was touched by his thoughtfulness of Eddie's gesture. She felt a little less lonely now. Of course she would be all right. Once the initial sting of humiliation and disappointment had faded, she had people around her who would ensure she would be smiling and chirpy again in no time. Yes, she thought, taking a deep breath, stirring her coffee, she wasn't going to let Danny destroy her happiness. And Jo had been right, things did look better in the morning.

Max watched as Jo began to wake, her eye fluttering open.

"Good morning," she beamed up at him. "Or is it afternoon?"

"No, it's only just after nine," he replied, softly.

"Really? Feels like I slept for hours."

"Did you have any plans for today?" he asked.

"Hmmm not initially, but Lou might need cheering up."

"Eddie's beaten you to it. He already called to invite her out for breakfast. He'll be by any minute to pick her up."

"Oh, that is sweet of him."

"So, no plans?"

"No. Why?"

"Because I have no intention of leaving your bed any time soon," he explained, tracing her face her with his finger, before kissing her softly.

"Until my stomach protests," she agreed. "You are delicious, but I confess food may win me over eventually."

"Is that a challenge?"

"No," she shook her head. "Just a statement of fact."

Eddie watched Lou peruse the menu, her forehead wrinkling in contemplation. She looked perfect to him, as if she hadn't spent hours crying, barely sleeping. Not a hair was out of place, her makeup impeccable. She was wearing her favourite red and purple coat with red ankle boots to match. Lou Fox to a tee. Eddie was proud of her. It took courage to pick yourself up from such a knock back and face the world as if nothing had happened.

"I think I'm going to have the blueberry pancakes with cream and crispy bacon," said Lou, laying down the menu. "With a hot chocolate."

"Is that it?"

"Well, maybe a side of chips," she added, guiltily.

Eddie smiled.

"You can have whatever you want, just don't blame me if you feel sick later from mixing foods."

"I never have been sick from doing that," Lou fired back, defensively.

"Well, almost. Remember when you tried fish fingers with custard?"

"That actually wasn't bad," Lou admitted. "The Doctor was onto something there, it was about twenty minutes later that I started to feel sick."

Eddie rolled his eyes. Lou's Doctor Who obsession was no secret. They just never spoke of the extremes it often went to.

"What about you dipping pickled onions and gherkins in Nutella"

"That was pretty good too," nodded Lou.

"Jo didn't think so. It was her jar of Nutella you were using."

"Anyone would think I'd murdered her child the way she reacted."

"You know what Jo is like with Nutella. It's more precious to her than money or gold. And you ruined a whole jar by baptising it in vinegar."

"I did buy her a replacement," Lou pointed out.

"That didn't erase the initial crime though, did it? You scarred her for life."

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?"

"For such a heinous act? Nope, can't see it happening."

"Well, it's not as bad as you walking into Scott's kitchen naked, when his mum and grandma were visiting."

"I thought we all agreed that we would never speak of that again?"

"I remember Scott's mum telling me how his grandma could not stop staring at your ahem even after you'd covered up modestly."

"Seriously, when I turned around to leave the room, I swear I could feel her eyes on my arse."

"Well, you were probably the first naked man she'd seen in a long time. One that wasn't over sixty anyway."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"Maybe she asked Scott for your number. Or she thought that now she'd seen you naked she'd have to marry you."

"Yeah, I'd compromised her so badly."

"I'm surprised at her age she didn't have a heart attack from the shock."

"Oh Scott would really hate me for that."

"Yeah, but I think he would prefer that to you becoming his step-grandad."

"Would I be that bad as a grandad, do you think?"

Lou cocked her head, thinking.

"Actually, I think you'd fit the role perfectly. Get you a brown cardigan, a pipe and some slippers, you'd fit right in at the boules club."

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yes. Sexy grandpa."

"What? A G.I.L.F?"

Lou burst out laughing.

"Oh definitely."

"This is bad. We're sitting here, quite openly pimping out Scott's gran."

Lou laughed harder.

"What do you think his reaction would be?"

"Let's ask him."

Eddie pulled out his phone and typed a message.

Scott, me and Lou are discussing pimping out your Gran. Thoughts?

The waitress arrived and took their order. Eddie's phone vibrated.

"It's Scott."

Lou grinned.

"What did he say?"

" 'How you chose to spend your time is your business,' " Eddie read. " 'But I am touched that you think of my gran and I'm sure she'd appreciate it. Though I think you put her off men for life.' "

Eddie looked across at Lou. She was crying with laughter. She picked up a napkin and dabbed the corners of her eyes. We,, he thought to himself, he'd made her laugh and that beautiful smile was back, if only temporarily. And by was it worth it. After seeing how crushed and upset she had been the previous night, to watch her eyes shine with amusement, her grin wide and infectious.

Stretched out on her bed, Max watched Jo walk in, wrapped in a towel, fresh from the shower, her skin flushed a pink glow. His eyes lingered on the curled tendrils of her hair, escaping her towel turban and dripping water onto her back. He had wanted to join her in the shower but she had sternly told him no and insisted he shower before her.

"Stop staring," she said, self-consciously.

"I can't help it," Max shrugged, unapologetically, enjoying his view. "You could drop the towel though."

Jo picked up her clothes, glared at him and disappeared out of the room. Max smiled to himself. Despite what they'd spent half the morning doing, Jo was still shy. Why, he had no idea. Jo had a gorgeous body. He sighed and swung his legs off the bed. He didn't mind getting distracted by Jo but everyone was due at his house later that afternoon. He needed to visit the supermarket first and get changed before everyone arrived.

Eddie suggested a walk after breakfast. Lou agreed, feeling a little bloated. They meandered along the high street, peering into shop windows. They stopped at a flower stall to admire the fresh flowers, and Eddie bought Lou a small bunch. She scolded him but accepted the flowers. They wandered along to the river, arm in arm, chatting aimlessly about this and that, the topic never turning to Danny or last night. Lou didn't want to talk about Danny. She didn't want to think about him. She just wanted to feel normal and Eddie was helping her. She was grateful, so grateful. She was glad they had already planned to spend the rest of the day at Max's. It would be good to be surrounded by her dearest friends. There wouldn't be time for her to dwell on her mistake, to feel her stomach drop or feel that dull ache. She had no idea she would feel this optimistic when she was tossing and turning all night.

Jo felt as if her heart was going to burst out of her chest. She was so happy. She was sat in Max's car, waiting for him. They'd just bought food and drinks, Max returning the trolley. She smiled coyly, her stomach fluttering. Images of a nude Max flickering across her mind. She bit her lip. It was extremely difficult to think about anything else. Especially when she hadn't spent more than twenty minutes away from him for over twelve hours. She was enjoying every minute of it.

The driver's door opened and Max slid in. He glanced across at Jo. She sighed serenely, a soft smile on her lips. Max leaned over, curling his hand around her neck and tugged her to him. He kissed her tenderly, indulging in the warmth and eagerness of her lips. He drew back, holding her gaze and caressing her cheek.

"Tonight, can't get her quick enough," he whispered, huskily.

Jo giggled, slapping his thigh lightly.

"Behave," she warned, a blush creeping across her cheeks.

Max smiled, loving that he could still make her blush. He moved closer again, rubbing his nose against hers, his hands sliding up her legs.

"What can I do?" he asked, gently. "When you render me defenceless."

His mouth sought hers again and she melted into his kiss.

The afternoon at Max's had been really fun. Becki loved watching the boys get so engrossed in the rugby, shouting and cursing at the TV, though that tended to be more Jo than the boys. It felt really good all of them together, having a drink, letting loose. God, she loved all her friends, they were just the best, every single one of them. Now she wanted to get undressed and watch that smutty vampire series on TV.

"Becki."

She turned. Rob was still standing in the porch.

"Listen, I really don't think this is working."

Becki looked at him, confused.

"Us," Rob explained. "We're not working."

The blood drained from Becki's face, her heart plummeted.

"I've been thinking about it for a while now and I think we should take a break."

Becki swallowed slowly, staring at him.

"But..." she stammered.

"I'm not going to discuss it now, Becki. I've made up my mind.I'm going to go and stay with Harry for a few weeks. You can stay here, I'll carry on paying towards the bills for now, but I need some space to decide what to do."

"Surely, we can talk about this."

"Oh can we? Please tell me Becki when do we actually talk. I can't remember the last time we had a proper conversation, or even spent any quality time together."

Becki flinched.

"I'm going to drive to Harry's now. He's expecting me."

So, he'd already planned this. She was going to start crying, but not until he had left.

"I'll call you in a few days," he said. "Take care of yourself, Becki."

Becki stared at the empty space where he had stood, numb.

Jo had put the final glass away in the cupboard and was looking forward to a cup of tea before bed, when her phone rang. She peered the screen. It was Becki.

"What's the matter? Didn't get enough of me yet?" she joked, answering it.

"Jo, Jo . . ."

Hearing the tremor and tears in Becki's voice, Jo was immediately worried.

"Becki, what is it? What's wrong?"

"It's me and Rob. We've split up."

"What is it?" asked Max, after hearing Jo ending her phone call and seeing the tired look on her face.

"Becki and Rob have split up. Well, they're taking a break. Rob's idea."

"What? Really?"

Jo nodded.

"But they always seem fine, I mean I didn't sense there was anything off."

"Well, you're not with them all the time are you? To be honest, I'm not surprised."

"Oh why?"

"Can I tell you tomorrow? After listening to Becki for half an hour, I don't want to talk about it any more today."

He could see she was despondent. Who could blame her? Constantly dealing with other people's problems, dampening her mood. Lou yesterday, Becki today.

"Yeah sure."

She looked at him.

"Today was such a good day till now."

He walked to her and tipped her chin up.

"Don't do it," he said, firmly. "Do not take other people's problems onto your shoulders."

"But."

He put a finger to her lips.

"You worrying or caring, isn't going to make anything better. This is for Becki and Rob to sort out, not you. For the first time, please let it go."

Jo sighed.

"OK."

Max kissed her gently.

"Now go and get in those sexy pyjamas you picked up from yours earlier, so I can rip them off you again."

Jo blushed, her face lighting up as she grinned.

"Ooo I like it when you're bossy," she laughed.

"Upstairs now."

While Jo spent the next few weeks listening and supporting Lou and Becki,  doing the best she could to distract or cheer them up, along with Eddie, Scott and Gaby, Max thought of ideas to help Jo relax and feel appreciated. He bought her flowers, cooked her dinner, invited her out for walks, cosy evenings in front of the TV. He liked nothing more than her falling asleep in his arms, after they'd wiled away the time kissing, her pretty eyelashes fluttering on her cheeks. Jo adored him for his thoughtfulness. She couldn't remember a time when anyone had cared for

her like Max did. She felt special and treasured.

One morning Lou woke and discovered she was tired of crying and feeling gloomy. She turned the shower on and scrubbed herself in her most luxurious soap. After dressing, she spritzed on expensive perfume and she put on her neglected favourite red lipstick and pouted in the mirror. Lou Fox was back. Jo said nothing when Lou strode into the kitchen, she glanced up and said good morning, then returned to the book she was reading over her granola. But she smiled to herself, glad and happy.

News travelled fast and it soon reached Eddie's ears. He was so relieved. He had been waiting so long to speak to Lou, now he felt she would listen to him. He was patient for a couple of more days before dropping by the house. Lou was pleased to see him, her smile meeting her eyes.

“I have something I need to say, so please let me finish before you interrupt me," he blurted out, nerves getting the better of him.

"OK," said Lou, leaning against the sink.

Eddie ran his hand through his curly hair. He had rehearsed this so many times.

"I was very rude to you a few months back," he began. "My behaviour was unacceptable and not that of a true friend. And I am sorry, Lou. You deserved so much more from me."

Lou's expression was neutral, her eyes kind.

"You have always been so good to me, had faith in me and I seem to repay you with nothing but selfishness. Why, I don't know because I think I care about you more than anyone else but I treat you so badly."

He paused for a moment, breathing in deep.

"I'm sorry. What I'm trying to say, very badly, is that I care for you. I want to be more for you if I can. I want to try. Sort the mess of my life out. And it may be poor timing and that you need more time after everything that happened. But I just need you to know I am here you and I always will be. I'm not going anywhere. I can't promise you anything, except that I will try."

He couldn't look at her. If he did, he'd forget everything he still wanted to say.

"Lou, I would do anything to see you smile and never ever cry again. You are everything that is good and beautiful in the world and I've been so stupid to have treated you so bad.You don't have to say anything, I just want you to know, know that you are the most important thing to me."

Lou said nothing, her heart too full. She was certain he was telling her he loved her, in a clumsy roundabout way. It touched her deeply, his honesty and sincerity. She had always known what he was capable of, he just never let himself. She walked to him, put her arms around him and hugged him. Eddie held her, relaxing in her warmth. He couldn't have wished for a better answer.  

Pulling her hat further down onto her head, Jo liked her arm through Max's and leaned into his warmth. They were strolling across the park, taking Max's new dog for a walk. Scarlet was a rescue dog. Max had rehomed her from the rescue centre after falling in love with her when he visited with his parents who were always adding dogs and cats to the family. Jo loved her, having so much fun playing with her and spoiling her. Max joked Jo loved Scarlet more than him. Jo agreed, she did.

The last month had been full of news and announcements. Gaby was pregnant. Her and Scott were ecstatic. Eddie had finally stopped drinking and been offered a new job as a kids' rugby coach. He was so pleased. Lou was spending a lot of time with him, no they wouldn’t say if they were dating. Becki was slowly working on her relationship with Rob. She really did love him and didn't want to lose him. She needed to convince him of that. Everyone was seeing moe of Luke now, often with Tommy in tow. No one quite knew how he’d done it or what he had said to Grace but now there were no embarassed excuses to invitations. Max was selling his house. It had never really felt like home and he wanted to be nearer to Jo. He wanted Jo to move in with him but he wouldn't ask her, not yet. He didn't want to rush their relationship and there was no hurry.

Max looked at Jo now as she ran after Scarlet, laughing. She picked up a stick.

"Fetch, Scarlet, fetch."

She threw the stick through the air and it fell a good twenty metres away. Scarlet bounded after it, her tail wagging in. Jo turned back to him and smiled, her cheeks from the cold and running. Every now and then it would hit, just how much he loved Jo, how lucky he was to have her. He stretched an arm out and she walked to him. He pulled her close and leaned his head down to kiss her. Her lips were cold but her mouth was warm. He would never tire of kissing her. Her hands gripped his jacket, holding him to her.

The freezing cold was forgotten while Max kissed her. Jo was so glad he wasn't averse to cute little moments like this. They made her heart melt. She was so in love with him it was ridiculous. She spent every free moment thinking about him when she wasn't with him. When she was with him she was constantly wondering how long should she wait before touching or kissing him again. She wanted to listen to him talk for hours, she wanted to stare at him, she wanted to be close to him. She was rather pathetic she told herself. But she didn't care. When you had been denied something for so long, you wouldn't care what it was like when it finally arrived.

Scarlet barked at their feet, nudging their legs, the retrieved stick between her jaws.

"Oh you clever girl," said Jo, bending down to stroke her.

Max's hand slid down Jo's back in a soft caress. He didn't like the interruption. Jo smiled, straightening back up, her stomach growling.

"This cold weather is making me hungry," she said, placing a hand on his chest. "What do you say we drop Scarlet off at home then head into town for pizza?"

Max's grin was beautiful.

"I say yes. Best idea ever."

He tugged her close again and turned in the direction of home. He whistled for Scarlet and she came leaping after them.

"Max?"

"Yes."

"Are you happy?"

Max stopped and looked at her.

"What kind of question is that?" he asked.

"An important question. Because if you're not happy then all this is worthless," Jo explained, praying she didn't sound too melodramatic.

Max brushed the hair out of her face, his gloved fingers gentle on her skin. He clasped his hands around her nape and looked deep into her eyes.

"Yes," he replied, his voice low and husky. "I am happy. And I dare anyone to try and take that away from me. Jo Goodwin, you are my happiness and I love you, don't ever doubt that."

Her heart swelled, the love for this man in front of her inflating it so much she was certain she couldn't contain the enormity of it.

This wasn't a happy ending, she thought, as they walked hand in hand through the trees. It was a happy beginning. And the road ahead wouldn't be smooth. It wouldn't all be cosy snugness. It would be tough. They'd be tears, anger and frustration. More heartbreak. But there would always be friendship, laughter and love. And love she thought she'd never find again. Max was in her heart. She loved him with every breath she took. She hoped those feelings would never fade, that she'd still be smitten with him when their bones began to creak and their eyesight fail. She was grateful and she was humbled, to find the most precious thing in the world. She squeezed Max's hand. His thumb rubbed the back of her hand in response. Scarlet charged in front of them, barking at a pigeon. Jo laughed, her body leaning into Max's. She felt his head turn then his lips brush her forehead.

Reviews

[aj milton]

Likeable story. I hope I don't offend by saying that it reminded me a bit of "Four Weddings" in the sense that there is a large and eclectic cast of characters and it has a similar Rom-Flick feel to the storyline.

[Milady_Alice_Clare]

I don't mind at all. Thank you for reading, much appreciated.