Patience

- I wrote this shortly after I had been living with Alexis after my incident..-

She sits alone in her bestfriend's room.

Waiting patiently for the incoming doom.

She sits and cries

and remebers the lies.

the lies her mother and father have told

since she could remember at 3 yeaers old.

Her heart is broken,

Her spirit is gone.

She makes you believe the show she puts on.

Faking her happiness,

and every smile,

she sits and waits...

"It'll be a while..."

A while till the pain and sadness goes,

She's becoming numb from her head to her toes.

She blames herself for everything wrong;

"Just a little more, it wont be long..."

With each passing hour,

she dies a little inside.

Feeling like crying; in a hoodie, she hides.

But morning comes,

and she's still here.

Waiting.

Crying.

Alone and dying;

She sits alone in her bestfriend's room...

Reviews

[Alexis L. Thompson]

Did u really do this wen i wasn't home last summer?

[Sierra Erway]

i did..

[Alexis L. Thompson]

I'm sorry...

[Sierra Erway]

why? don't be o.O

[TLK]

The cyclical nature of the poem really helps to hammer home the message of alienation from family. This is a powerful theme that has been used before -- have you heard "There is a Light That Never Goes Out"? It's another tale of teenage alienation from family, as well as a really weird love song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-cD4oLk_D0

"Feeling like crying; in a hoodie, she hides" is a really good line. The assonance of crY and hIde become an internal half-rhyme that really bring out the underlying rhythm. Also I find the different vowel sounds to make that line feel particularly complete.

The struggle between the public face and private tears is, of course, the most heart-breaking part of this poem. I love how people tell you that lying is wrong, but then require you to lie anyway.

[Sierra Erway]

thanks for that insight..