I've Often Wondered

I've often wondered, when sitting half-asleep,
When pondering on my character, on who and what makes me.
I've often thought these questions and what the answers'd be.

 

Like, if I was taken, would you care?
Or would you, like a damn cat, just sit by the wall and stare?
If I ever started dying, all slow, in grey hospital beds,
Would you come visit me there or just wait until I'm dead?

 

When I leave the room and I'm out of sight,
Do you mock me with the others or, for me, do you fight?
Do you really care about my thoughts or ask me out of pity,
Am I really that great or just really s****y?

 

If I told you I loved me and you know that I was lying,
Would you always try to make me better or eventually stop trying?
If I held a knife over my still-beating heart,
Would that be the first time you know or did you know it from the start?

 

I thought I knew the answers but upon my meditation,
I wondered if they were true or just all fabrication.