Changes

A little piece of what my mind has been going through lately as a rather huge turn appeared in my life. If I picked the wrong type to place it in, then pardon.

This is not what I expected.
I got nothing against it, it's just so confusing.
Is this real? Or is it just a thing that decided to come bother me?
I love it the same way I hate it.

Makes me happpy yet sad.
The burning feeling is shielded with a ice cold layer.
Stings yet soothing.
Exciting yet depressing.

I always though of myself one way. This was not in my plans.
Will I ever get accepted for this?
I can't tell anyone the full story, they'll act different.
Specially not to the one, the one will become the way I was before.

I told the one parts of the truth, but the full truth cannot not be told.
I do not want to lose the one, I love the one too much.
I never asked for this. Why did it come to me?
I hate it the same way I love it.

My layers are getting thin, my saftey is fading away.
My heart is full of grief, sorrow and whatnot.
The one is what I have become, I don't want to lose the one.
The one is taken.

The one speaks about others, I listen, but not with happiness.
Why did this happen to me, I sound like a depressed child.
Should this not make me happy? It is not working.
I am better at grammar then this, but staying anonymus is hard to keep literate.

I am torn in two, I had one before now I got another.
Yet the new one appeals to me more, and it is not what I planned.
The one is my best friend, how will the one ever take it?
The one will shadow away, hide, be careful around me. I do not want that.

It is not because I like the closeness, which I do.
It is because I do not want it to change, to be seen at in a different unwanted
way.

The one keeps telling me that I can tell the one anything, I cannot.
It hurts, I want it to stop.
I want to cry, but I do not want the attention that follows the tears.

Why did this have to happen to me? O' destiny. What will become of me.

Author's Note

Keep in mind that this is a old piece of mine, it was at the very brim of my discovery.

Though ignoring the grammar problems, what do you think?