A Poem by Otsana

"When your heart is broken you plant seeds in the cracks and pray for rain"


Some people say they would rather have loved and lost than not have loved at all but I cant agree because what about those in-between, what about those who haven’t lost to old age or lost to change or lost to some other kind of inevitable fate, what about me?
What about those who have not lost at all, except to an unfair fight they didn’t even know they were fighting and I know they say love is a battlefield but baby I wasn’t even armed; you trapped me in and shot me through then you ran like you was running for your life but my life was you...I didn’t even know it was over, my pain receptors must have been faulty just like my faulty heart waiting for you and it waited; it waited like a star waits in a lonely sky for a pair of eyes to look up and meet its lonely shine with company, it waited like the earth thirsts  for rain after a heat wave.
But when that first drop of rain came down I cursed the sky, I cursed it so hard that the cloud’s tears couldn’t hold and I got it back tenfold  and maybe to the universe I looked like a b***h; I’m sorry...I wasn’t ready for growth....
I wanted time to turn back so bad that I resorted to taking all the clocks in the house down and turning the hands back, the only forward I could see was the looking forward to waking up to a text from you saying “hey chicken legs”
She never I stomped  the grounds until I found that place where my vulnerability was played for its ability to remain vulnerable and it lost , that same place where she said “if I could only remember three moments in my life; this
would be it”
Well baby you must have been some extraordinary kind of sick because you stretched the truth that night just like you stretched the distance between us that very next day but I couldn’t let go, how do you let go of someone who doesn’t even tell you to let go, someone who just STOPS .

My heart never stopped it hung there in limbo, waiting for you to come back or waiting for you to pick up your phone and scream down the receiver “JUST LET ME GO”
But she never did, so I never lost anything, other than myself, on a rainy night where the weather baptised me with its forgiving grace and the only thing beating me down was her unexplained absence.

© 2015 Otsana

Author's Note

This is more of a verbal poem intended to be read aloud hence the lack of punctuation but I would really love some feedback.

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I have some personal stories. I won't write. Love is a hard test for the most of us.
"But she never did, so I never lost anything, other than myself, on a rainy night where the weather baptised me with its forgiving grace and the only thing beating me down was her unexplained absence."
Grace is love. Not when love is departing. I enjoy your thoughts and words in the excellent poetry.

Posted 8 Years Ago

The only good thing about limbo is the amazing writing it inspires. I was moved by this piece. I have been there before. Beautiful job.

Posted 8 Years Ago


8 Years Ago

Thank you for the review, its much appreciated!
and if they say "Let me Go" will we listen ? What if such phrases are filtered out by the mind that has gone insane with grief and regret?
This resonates Otsana.
The style is sound - Reads just fine.
Thanks for sharing this one.

Posted 8 Years Ago


8 Years Ago

I can only speak for myself but maybe I wouldn't listen straight away because I don't think love is .. read more

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3 Reviews
Added on July 2, 2015
Last Updated on July 2, 2015
Tags: love, loss, longing, confusion



United Kingdom

I have just started using this again after a year of not really being active so send me read requests and I will get around to reading your work. It would be appreciated if you return the favour but I.. more..


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