Dropolong in Spring

The word dropolong is thrown around too often these days , often the speaker may not even put thought into the sentence the word will inevitably a part of. The word has almost become cliché as far as this writer is concerned, but by Excelsior's great Jorts I have a story that is so dropolong that it will wreak havoc with your prim sensibilities. It was a fine spring evening the birds sat nestled in the high tree tops whistling their songs of merriment. The passing days saw a change of weather that I felt was coming for a long time. I stood stooped over my azaleas in my front gardentending to them, the vicious toll of winter had all but decimated my lovely friends. I paused briefly to enjoy the translucent spring sunset that Excelsior had so generously granted me and praised him in the natural way. I resumed my gardening when my light was blocked by a large shadow.

-'Excuse me Madam' the shadow intoned in a singsong voice ' I'm sorry to trouble you, but would I have misplaced the digits of my telephone number, would you mind perchance granting me yours'
-'Listen Bub' I replied in my best Baritone ' I am a man, do you not have eyes
-'Why yes of course I do' the man cackled in his fluttery way 'Oh I just love witty repartee'
I chose to ignore the man, judging from past experience this was the wisest thing to do. Usually these creeps give up after a few minutes. I continued with my gardening, but the man laid chat up line after chat up line on me in a curiously archaic fashion. I step out of his shadow to get a better look at him. He was a normal looking man of above average height, he wore his hair in a long pony tail and had a look of wild lust in his eyes. He wore what could only be described as the garb of a groovy teacher, right down to his clogs

I sighed stood up and looked the man straight into his eyes, he did not return my gaze but merely began undressing me with them cold and relentlessly picking each piece of cloth off me. This all became too much for me.
-'What do you want? ' I shouted in a tone that betrayed the cool front that I was trying to display to him.

The man sensing my unease began to reassess the situation
-My dear man, I did not mean to cause you offense, I was merely attempting to interact with you in the only way I know how through the magic of my words"
I stood and smiled a little too wryly a the man's claim, perhaps I had misinterpreted him?
He continued in a more subdued tone
- I.... damn it, I don't know why I do this, it's just this whole world..... I don't know.
The man had dropped his previously cocksure demeanour and became a bit more human, I was no expert on human behaviour but I'm sure this man had a few screws loose in his Brain.
- 'Yikes slow down' I said 'I barely know you, first off what's your name?'
-My name is Hugh O'Donoghue' The man sobbed in a cacophonous howl that resembled a dog who had a nasty case of worms. He then removed his ponytail and his hair transformed into a wild and unruly Afro!

I was quite perplexed by this man's actions, he seemed dangerously unhinged. He then instantaneously stopped sobbing.
-"May I enter your habitat?, all this crying has left me very thirsty" Hugh said with a wink and a knowing smile. I was slow to let this stranger enter my house, but I was intrigued by him. He was not altogether handsome but his features had a charm. His eyes sparkled with a bluish hue and had all the expression of Monet. I reluctantly acquiesced to the man's wishes and ushered him into my front room. I offered him the drink he so anxiously requested, to my dismay he asked me for a scotch on the rocks. I had a bottle I reserved for special occasions, sadly this was as close to a special occasion that I had come to ever since Claudia had left. I stood staring at the bottle and tears formed in my eyes as I recalled that day

It was a cold and stormy November and I had just returned from my job at the philosophy factory. I brushed the snow off my poncho and slowly removed my clogs. I noticed there was a suitcase in the hall.
-"Claudia, I'm home" I called out as I looked bemused at the valise. She then entered the room with an expression of melancholy surrender in her eyes, a look she had sported for some time now.
-"Are we going somewhere?, you should have told me, I can't just take off willy nilly, the philosophy factory ....
-"No Dominic" she cut me off abruptly "I'm leaving, I just can't do this anymore"
-"Do what? What can't you do? When are you coming back?" I yelped with indignation, oblivious to the gravity of the situation.
-"I'm not sure yet, I may never return" she wept " I love you Dominic but you really don't appreciate me"
I rushed over to her and attempted to embrace her but she pushed me off.
-"I really have to go, the longer I stay here the more difficult it will be"
-"Claudia, don't do this I can change I promise"
-"I hope someday you can, but I don't think you will with me around here"
-"Surely there is something I can do that can change your mind!
-"You can't just sweep all our problems under the rug in some grand gesture"
I sighed and walked over to the window and watched the trees buckle and bend in the onslaught of the winter weather.
-"Just go then, you know whats best! you always do"
I heard her sob and then I heard the door slam.

I placed the drink on the coffee table, the man picked it up and guzzled it down in one fluid movement. He asked for another then changed his mind and asked for the bottle.
-" So do you live here alone" Hugh asked, as he surveyed the room.
-"I do now
-"Ah your roommate have to immigrate?
-"That would be emigrate, immigrate means move into a country, and no my girlfriend left me"
-"Ah sucks to be you! When did she leave?
-"In November, it's been tough!"
I stopped suddenly I realised I was giving too much away to this man. He seemed to notice my unease and began to speak
-"Ah I left my girlfriend not long ago, she said I was too highstrung or some s**t like that, Do you think I'm highstrung?
-"You are certainly unusual, but I wouldn't call you highstrung.
-See that's what I thought" Hugh said with a wave of his hand. "Women they are all stark mad, they say one thing and then they expect the world of you, I'm just one man.
-" Not all women act in the fashion you've described
-"Show me one who does and I'll offer her my life, but until then...." he trailed off , " So why did your one leave"
-" She said she didn't feel like I appreciated her, that I took her for granted"
-"Ah that's the thing, it's hard to stay on top of them if you'll excuse the expression, if you see someone everyday, you become too used to them and then after a while, you don't see them anymore they become part of the furniture.

I paused briefly to meditate on what was being said

-'Don't you think you are being too rash?' I said

-'Not particularly' Hugh replied 'I mean you know someones there everyday everywhere in your house, it's easy to take them for granted'

The conversation continued in this way for some time, this Hugh character spilled his heart to me, in the hour he shared with me some of the most graphic and intimate details of his life, some of which I found quite disturbing but amusing nonetheless. He then stopped mid sentence and told me he had to leave. I bade him farewell and led him to the door. I still to this day do not know how, butt I knew that would not be the last time I laid eyes on Ol' Hugh

Author's Note

what do you think of the dialogue? Is the story too brief? Could it be longer? Any suggestions greatly appreciated

Reviews

[A.D. Wilson]

Very weird story. This strange guy shows up and acts like the main character is a woman, flirts with him, starts crying, pulls off his fake pony tail (revealing an afro?), and invites himself in for a drink? Then they discuss women and relationships? This guy either escaped from a mental institution or is some sort of alien in disguise. The ending seemed too brief. It felt like reading a book, and the last page is missing. Overall, very interesting story, though.