Why Must The Darkness Follow Me?

The feeling of hate burns through one's soul,

As others point to laugh, their souls follow,

Why is the world so cruel?

The souls only reach the point in life,

Before they can't bare to see whats next,

Why must our people give in?

The hate that follows us,

That helps the darkness with in,

Defeat us.

The darkness has taken my soul,

Now I must fight to be free,

Why do these things happen to me,

The darkness took over,

Now I lost my friend,

Who I thought would be there with me 'till the end.

Now every night I cover my face,

Before the darkness comes in,

Then as I turn over to pray to God,

There he is,

Smiling,

Laughing at how puny I am.

"Leave me alone!",

I scream but he'll never leave,

"Get away!!",

I yell,

But all he does is blend,

With the dark blue lamp in the corner,

I hear his laughter,

Like a child's taunting.

Why must the darkness follow me?

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

This was a very deep weave of ink. What came across to me was that the darkness is the evil side of our own inner selves, perhaps what we see in the mirror on a bad day, while we're angry. In this piece, the soul knows that the darkness is upon it and is trying to understand why it keeps returning. The soul knows of the lighter side, that's shown by the acknowledgement of God.

Yet, the piece might also be memories from some traumatic experience, that haunt the soul as the sun fades into darkness each night.

I'm probably way off on either possibility, but it was a very well crafted peice of ink and I enjoyed reading it!

Happy Easter,
Aaron Wolfie Maycroft

[Vito XYZ]

I sit in the darkness most of the time, I like they way you've tried to capture the depth of darkness with your friend, with hate, with defeat all of which are valid points. I how ever love the way you mentioned god, it's really quite clever I doubt it was Intentional, though of it was "Awesome stuff" in darkness I never look for god I just allow myself to be engulfed and controlled by hate. BUT if god was there one could argue it wouldn't be darkness, again with the "but", but you described god laughing bullying in a way which is clever because there's still darkness. "Blend" is a really good word the same thing with if you did it on purpose or not but when something can blend away you have to be in a certain state of mind. If he blends where are you going to vent your anger at, the lamp? if he blends then maybe he was created from the darkness with in your mind. There are really a lot of good things.

As for bad points or ones I didn't like I could go on for a long, long time while this time picking at the things you should have intentionally have done but there's no need. It's good enough to know your good sides and improve on those or do them more often in a well thought out way then question the meaning of every word, which I do ( :

[A.Lee]

This is really good. I love how its written in a pattern until the very last line. I really appreciated your word choice in this piece. It was much deeper with that and the sense of frustration, despair came across strongly. Good write.

[JenLyn]

Very deep and good imagery.

[Joy Lynn B.]

I would love to hear what you guys think of my writing. I rarely write like this but it happened to pop into my head that the darkness is here so why don't I say something! I can't wait to here everyone's review!